The Party

The sea crashes below me, wave upon wave hitting the base of the rocks, spray lingering on my lips before drying-creating salty cracks. Seagulls soar above me, calling out to one another, excluding me from their conversation. The cave mouth I’m sitting in is small and cramped-almost suffocating me. It’s a nice warm day and the sun is blazing, stifling me, creating shadows that dance over my ever-darkening cave. 1

This is how I feel as I sit with my back to the wall at the party-the guests circling seagulls, the music the crashing of waves-the chair suffocating me in loneliness. 2

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • StillReal
    October 14, 2004
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    Awwwww! This is so sad. I can relate to this poem so well. I feel your pain hun. I have always been a loner it seems as though the my peers single me out all the time I feel so isolated so I stay to myself. My friends are not my friends at all. They are always competing with me for my girl friends. I loved this so much expression and emotion with only 100 words.

    StillReal


  • Kethry
    September 29, 2004
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    I love the connection between seagulls and parties. it reminds me of some parties I've been to. Good luck in the contest.

  • Touchof1der
    September 28, 2004
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    Awww... this was sad, but it certainly paints a very clear picture of what I am sure many less aggressive and outgoing people feel when they attend a party. You did a wonderful job! Good luck in the contest!


  • SusanL
    September 28, 2004
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    Overall, this is one of the better pieces I have read in this contest. You have painted a wonderful picture here. I do like how this ends the way, you have pulled it together, but wonder if maybe it could not be incorporated a little differently.
    It is quite well done as is, but there is the feel of disconnectedness between the two pieces. I think that with maybe a few subtle hints the picture would speak for itself.
    Susan

  • macandrew
    September 28, 2004
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    very good

    Perfect ending. All the party-goers diving down on the food and drink table. Endless streams of unintelligable conversation. Feels like my parties, sad to be an introvert in these situations.

    John

  • RoughRider
    September 28, 2004
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    BRAVO!!!!

    WOW very impressive! You deserve to win with this one! And the thing with this many shy teenagers could relate to it. Good luck sweetie!

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