The doors of the hall exploded in a flurry of heat and splinters. The guards nearby the doors raised their pole-arms and lunged at the intruder even though he was not visible because of a large cloud of smoke that resulted from the destruction of the door. They were both thrown back and flew across the room until they collided with the walls on the opposite side and slumped down to the floor, unconscious. A figure clad in flowing silver robes strode out of the smoke and into the hall. His face was serious and he was determined to not be stopped, not matter the cost. He proceeded through the room to the table on the other side. At it were seven men and women. All were dressed in white and gold and bore the insignia of the gods of light.1
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the great hero Luxi." A man close to Luxi stood up to greet him. "What do you desire to barge into our meeting like this? I'm sure that whatever it would be, the guards would have let you through if you wished to see us this badly." The man feigned innocence so badly it would have made you sick.2
"oh, I think you know damn well what I want and that's exactly why you had those guards stop me in the first place." Luxi snarled. Magic energy could be felt radiating from Luxi's body as his rage flowed uncontrollably from his body. "I wan t it to stop. The wars are finished now. Do you really plan on starting another one? Do you really want that many lives to be lost again?" Luxi was shouting in the mans face.3
"Oh please. You really think we're trying to start a war? How naive. We are trying to stop a war by striking at the enemy while the iron is still hot. Why risk having another war start, when you can just finish them all off now and be done with them forever." The mans face darkened as he said this. A cruel tone replaced his innocent one. At least this one was more honest to his persona.4
"You defy the gods. How do you not realize this? If it was as simple as decimating the darkness to bring an everlasting peace, we would have done that thousands of years ago. There is supposed to be a darkness in the world. That is why the gods created it in the first place. Without a dark to keep light in check, the light would grow uncontrollably until it ultimately destroyed itself."5
"You talk of light and dark as if they were a population of deer without any wolves to hunt them. The deer would eventually grow out of control, eating their entire ecosystem until it was merely a barren wasteland, but we are humans. We are smarter than mere animals. We have survived unlike any other race of creatures this world or probably any other world has ever seen. Besides, if we really were doing the wrong thing, then why do the gods not tell us themselves?"6
"That's because they can't. That is why they sent me." Luxi reached into his robes and pulled out an amulet. In the center, the insignia of the gods of light was engraved in solid gold. At that moment, another man rushed into the room. He carried a sword and was clad in shining silver armor. He stood near the open entrance to the hall and called out.7
"Luxi, what the hell are you doing? Why are you attacking the cleric's council?"8
"Luri? I didn't expect you to see you. It's quite the unexpected surprise. I'm glad though. I want you to see this. I want you to know the truth."9
"Let's leave now, please. I don't know what your talking about, but there's still time to turn back and stop this." Luri pleaded to Luxi.10
"I'm sorry my brother, but this isn't something that I can possibly turn back on. Not now, not ever." Luxi shouted a word in magic and the man in front of him burst into flame. He screamed as his skin melted off the bones and his body was reduced to a smoldering black pile on the ground. The other remaining six still seated at the table jumped at this. Their eyes all bulged in surprise. Luri pulled a small dagger from inside a sleeve of his robes and jumped at one of the women that was close by to him. She evaded the attack by a hair, her robes nicked by the blade. She and three other took their staff's from where they had been on the table while the others drew swords and they all lunged after the lone Luxi. Luri however had spent no time delaying he dashed across the hall and parried several attacks aimed at his brother.11
"I don't know what my brother fights for exactly, but I will not allow you to hurt him." He said as he pushed them away. Luxi and Luri stood back to back now as the six remaining clerics circled them.12
"Just like old times, huh? Out numbered and out flanked." Luxi chuckled as he said this.13
"Yeah. How nostalgic fighting alongside you again. Hope you can still keep up with me. I've improved quite a bit." Luri said to his brother.14
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that. I just hope you still remember how we used to fight together." They both smiled to each other and they both turned quickly. They were facing each other and they leaped off the ground at their opponents. Luxi's hand swept over Luxi's sword and he muttered several words in magic. The sword burst into intense flames of searing white. Luxi muttered several more words and his dagger extended in a flurry of light and it turned in to a long blade of pure energy. They stabbed at the closest clerics to them. Luxi's enemy managed to move enough to prevent the wound from being fatal, but luxi's was not so lucky. His blade of fire was thrust into his chest, his internal organs and skin seared and completely destroyed by the intense heat from the blade that he died almost instantly. He slid of the blade, only liquid residue was left on the blade. Luxi and Luri both swung to their left's . Their enemies scattered in an effort to avoid the pairs fatal weapons. Luxi spoke several words in magic and water shot from his mouth in a powerful stream and knocked two of the cleric's to the ground. Water was splattered all over the ground and it caused the cleric's to slip and lose their balance. Luri used his sword of fire to evaporate the water and created a smoke screen of water vapor. The cloud of water spread and soon enough, much of the area was covered in it.15
"Bad move you two. We are able to see through smoke screens such as this easily. You two however aren't as good at this as we." Luxi turned and blocked a strike from a staff that was aimed towards his head, but then his legs were swept out from under him by another attack. He could hear the sound of a blade being drawn near him, but he couldn't see where it was. They definitely weren't bluffing about the smoke being a wrong move. Luxi rolled away, and just in time because he could hear the sound of the blade strike the ground where he had been just a moment ago.16
"Luri! Do you know any spells to lift smoke screens? I think that would be a lot of help."17
"If I did I would have done it already. Just try and fight as it is for now. I know that I can get rid of this somehow."18
"Just create a tornado or something big. That should blow this whole thing away in a heart beat." Luxi swung at an enemy he believed to be there, but there was nothing.19
"There's a few reasons I can't do that right now. I used to much magic getting here, so I can't use something as advanced as that. Also, this room was specially built to block any kinds of advanced magic such as that to avoid any damage to the structure. Even if I tried to create a tornado, it would either get blown away by the magic of this room or it might just kill me." Luxi felt a staff slam against his back and he fell to the ground again.20
"Well can you try and solidify the vapor back to water? You know, cool things down a bit."21
"That's it. That should work. Hold on." Luri chanted and the temperature began to go down at a fast pace. The clerics began to shout instructions to hurry up and kill them quickly. Luxi closed his eyes and focused his internal energy and felt it gather inside him until it was about to burst. His eyes shot open and he punched the ground as hard as he could. A shock wave was sent through the ground that caused it to rise in a wave and it knocked back the two cleric's that were about to attack him. Their staffs ended in sharp blades that were dipped in poison. The fell to the ground unconscious. The mist was almost gone now and pools of water on the ground were forming and turning into ice. Luxi scanned the room for his brother. He saw him impaled on the end of the three remaining cleric's blades. His body hung limp on them. Luri ran to him, pure hatred in his eyes. He knocked the cleric's aside and held his brothers dying body in his arms.22
"No, Luxi. It's all my fault. If I didn't create the smokescreen, you would have lived." Tears streaked Luri's face as Luxi's blood poured from his wounds and onto Luri's body.23
"Please, don't blame yourself. I came here fully prepared to die." Luri whispered. He coughed violently, blood spattered on his lips. "The amulet around my neck was given to me by the gods. They are the ones you must obey, not the clerics or the temples. They are masking the truth and twist the words of the gods." Someday, the gods will contact you as they have me. You must be prepared for that day. Abandon the order of the paladin and search out the monks in the mountains. They will help you hone you skills of geomancy. It is a difficult skill to master with a teacher. Nearly impossible to do alone. Please, carry on. Live and succeed where I have not. But do not kill the cleric's. Now is not the time for that. We have failed now, but the chance will come again."24
"Yes brother. I will do it, but why? Why have you done all of this in the first place? I must know."25
"All in time Luri." Luxi's body convulsed and he coughed up more blood. "All in time." Luxi smiled and his head lolled to the side, blood filled his throat. Luri laid his brother on the ground and closed his eyes. Tears continued to stream down his face. He turned and walked out of the hall.26
"I will do it brother. I will master my skills and listen to the gods as they command. You will see from the after life that I have done well and that I have avenged you well."
A contest entry
- Chains unleashed! by Shiki.
1600 points, ended June 2, 2008, 57 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Awesome
This was a good read, i loved it. i am definetly certain that if you kept up with this, and wrote more, it will definetly be an awesome read for fantasy people out there. i know i loved it! however...
The use of magic was interesting, however more description would have made cooler, lol.
im not sure if this is like the prologue or whatever, but i feel theres hardly any background info on whats happening.... more like, Luxi comes in, yells at the clerics, and starts to fight. you didnt seem to go in depth with why he was there, the real main reason.
also, luri's sudden apperance also made it seem... strange. where did he come from? was he following Luxi? or was he at that temple thingy already?
i kinda got confused half way through.... see, i mainly thought that Luxi was the main 'magic caster' and Luri was the 'physical grunt' kinda guy you know? where one person does all the magical things, while the other hacks and cuts lol. but, it seems that Luri can also do magic... which got me confused, lol
i dunno,maybe thats just a dumb way of me talking, haha, i guess im just used to 'original' fantasy stories where theres a tough and magic guy lol

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Don't worry, your not the first to get confused. I probably did mix them up a few times and for that I am sorry(I still do every now and again, but only when I refer to them as Luri and Luxi.) To answer your questions...
1. Luri(physical guy) had followed Luxi (magic guy) to the temple in order to stop him, but it went kind of crazy and he ended up helping him in the end.
2. The reason Luxi freaks in the first place is because he can tell the clerics are going to F*ck the world up with what they're doing so he tries to stop them.
It was a little weird writing this and I did mess it up a bit, but I don't feel like editing or re-writing it, so to everyone who complains, whatever.
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okay
first of all tahnks for entering the contest
I'll be harsher/ more strict for contest
so here goes
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Hmm I found a bit of mistakes in the writing
I think you got confused when writing both of their names cuz its sounds nearly the same.
"Luxi's enemy managed to move enough to prevent the wound from being fatal, but luxi's was not so lucky. His blade of fire was thrust into his chest, his internal organs and skin seared and completely destroyed by the intense heat from the blade that he died almost instantly.
If you read properly the second name abt Luxi's was not so lucky I believe that you meant by Luri?
Overlal i say this story is quiet interesting Just lack of punch a little=D I think you can improve on the descriptions about the magic happenings to make it more..."Spectacular" cuz you already have a good base Just needs more spectaculation! and I believe you can make this magic happen
so message me if you want me to read the edited version of this
^_^ Over all its well done just hehe you can surely improve it
Well done^_^

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This is a scene I wrote as a prerquisite(i guess that's what I'm calling it) to a book I'm writing. It explains quite a bit about what has happened between the brothers before the story which is helpfull to the reader because I don't plan to go in depth about it in the actual book itself.



