the monster i once loved part 6

I lay there on max's bed alone,he had went to get us something to eat down the street.i was trying not to cry,but while he was gone i let a couple salty tears escape from the corners of my eyes.the door opened and he set a bag of mcdonalds next to me.i wasn't hungry.his voice had a sharp edge to it "adrian,sit up.you need to eat something".i didn't move,maybe he'd think i was sleeping.he grabed my hair and sat me up.his voice was low "look at me,now.adrian look at me".i didn't,i just looked down at the bed.his hands were around my neck and he pointed my face up to his "when i say look at me,you look at me.now i don't know what your problem is,but you better get over it now".he let go of my hair and handed me the food,i picked at it.he was watching me.i took 2 small bites and layed back down
"hey,what are you doing? your not done yet".i stared up at the cealing "i'm full".he swings his arm across the bed sending the soda and food flying across the room to his wall and then to the floor "bullshit!what the hell is wrong?".i shook my head,my voice was cold and dead "nothing is wrong max,i'm just tired".he stands up and walks over to the phone and then hands it to me "tell your mom your spending the night at jessicas".i shook my head "no,why?".he slapped me "don't ask me why,just fucking do it".i dialed my number with shaking fingers "mom?"."adrian,hey sweetie,are you at maxes?".i look up at max's hatful glare as i answered "yea,um hey i'm spending the night at jessicas is that alright?max has to go to some stupid meeting with his parents,so i'll be all alone".i waited as she over-thought my lie "okay sweetie,i guess i'll see you tomorrow"."ok,bye,love you".
i hung up and curled into a ball,max layed behind me,pressing the side of his face against my neck as he spoke "your such a good liar baby,you ready for some fun?".i sat up to quickly because i knew what he was talking about "um,i'm gonna go home for a second and get some pajamas".he shook his head as he walked over to the door and locked it,flicking the lights off on the way back to me.he sits down on the bed and runs his fingers through my hair "you won't be needing them tonight sweetie".i was holding back tears "max,i don't want to do this,don't make me do this.not now".he lays down on top of me,he spoke as if he wasn't doing anything wrong "why not now?".i pushed his body away from mine and got off the bed "because,i'm not ready,i don't want to do this with you".he still looked calm but his voice was angry and controlling "get on the bed adrian,now.i want to make you beautiful to me".i shook my head "n-no max".he smiled and climbed off the bed,wrapping his arms around me "your gonna see what happens when you say no to me,aren't ya".i shook my head "no,no,no,no".he laughed "yes,yes,yes,your gonna hate me for a while adrian,but you deserve what you get tonight".he pinned me down on the bed with only his legs.his hands crawled to my thin white t-shirt.he ripped it off of me and it hurt.i scream "max,please don't do this to me,please!".he started to touch me and i could feel him getting excited.he unbuckled his belt and wrapped it around his fist.suddenly my head was crushed into the pillow,his hand grabed a fist full of my hair and pushed down,he started to hit my back violently with his belt,i felt the wounds start to bleed.i was screaming for help,and when i did that my pushed my head down into the pillow to muffle them.
for an hour he hit me and touched me,embarresed me,made me bleed.untill i was under the covers,fully naked and so was he.i just lay there in unbearable pain as he forced himself inside me,and stayed there for what seemed like hours.he was everywhere,and i coulden't stop him.i felt myself lose the only thing i thought i had controll over.when he was done he lays down next to me,i was gasping for air,chocked up with tears as he spoke to me "that was wanderful baby,just wait untill next time tho".i wanted to kill him.i wanted to be free of my boyfriend,my abuser,my rapist.but the question is how can i do that?