No Screams.

I just sat on the bench and stared at the black top, none of my own thoughts entering my own mind. I tried to clean up my mind and clear out these thoughts, but nothing happened. I guess I'm just going to have to live with this curse. 1

Several people always sat before me, asking me where I was and where I should be going. I never answered. I just stared and listened to them, their own thoughts speaking so much louder than there words. Many screamed out at me and slapped me in the face, but I didn't flinch. I just listened to the whispered secrets of the person's heart and hoped the best for their life.2

But would you believe me if I went deaf in my own mind? I guess it just happened once, but that one left me shocked. I wasn't so young I could understand the point of silence in my mind, but I wasn't so old that I understood the point. I was naive and something just hit me hard. I almost remember her voice like she was right here, but I guess it was because my mind was so clear.3

She was ordinary: brown hair in a tight pony tail, small blue eyes with black irises, and everything that any teenager would have. She didn't even dress different. Nothing would make her catch my eye. 4

One day I was just sitting on that same bench, wondering why I was still there. Really, though, I had nowhere to go. What was wrong with this spot? So I just sat, hearing the voices saying hi to a familiar face, thoughts of how they really felt, and other things that just don't matter anymore. So I just sat waiting for someone to come to me and let me take a look inside of them to give me a reason to be here.5

So she sat down. A little bump on the bench popped me up a little. I almost felt intimidated by this girl, but I pushed it off my mind. 6

So I just listened.7

But nothing came.8

Everything was silent. I looked straight at her, my eyes glaring at her side. From that, I noticed her sleek, shiny hair wafting at her shoulders, blown with a hint of faded blonde. I tried harder to listen for even the screams of emotion, but it was as if she suppressed everything. 9

"Um...," I let out, my mind unable to comprehend this. I couldn't hear her. I looked back to the people around me, and I heard screams still. But, when I looked back at her, my and her mind was silent. I couldn't hold back the shaking in my tensed body come out.10

"Yes?" she whispered, her body not even turning toward me. Her thin body shivered with the cold wind, nothing on her body more than a thin shirt, jeans, and no shoes to be seen. As a reflex, I ripped off my coat and handed it to her. My body was controlling itself, and I wasn't in my right mind. But I still held out that could to the shivering girl next to me.11

"You look cold," I whispered. That was all I could get out. She stared at the thick jacket, switching her eyes back and forth between me and the jacket. She slowly grabbed for it wrapping it around her frame and snuggling in its warmth. And we just sat like this for a few minutes, sound effects the only noise in between us.12

"Thank you," she finally got out, looking at me and smiling sweetly. Her blue eyes twinkled next to the icy jacket and her white teeth. She was pretty, but I was too young to understand what 'love' was then to say I was. "I was in a rush, so I forgot my jacket. I'm sorry if you get cold." She let out a little laugh, but covered it back up with a sullen look on her face. She shivered out a little, but didn’t move for several moments. I just listened intently, waiting for her mind to yell out at me. I thought it was a delayed reaction, the thoughts screaming, but it didn’t come to me. 13

“Umm…” I stammered a little shiver from the cold coming into my body. I wanted to talk to her, an interesting creature as she is. Was I going to let her leave without finding out why I can’t hear her screams? “Um…so…why,” I tried to get out, it slowing slipping out, “did you leave the house so fast?” I looked at her slim face, no noticeable appearance change. 14

“No reason. I just wanted to get out of the house. Really, though, if I told you why, you wouldn’t understand. You’re just a kid.” My mind echoed with lies and rhythms which I couldn’t understand. I wanted to scream out and yell and tell her that I wasn’t a child at heart. I’m so much more than that. My mind bumped and bent to the motion of my thoughts. This shocked me, my own my open to my thoughts, my thoughts. This just confused me. I hadn’t heard my own thoughts, blank to remember. I had things shuffling in my mind and it was uncontrollable. 15

Then it hit me hard. I felt like I was bleeding and hurting from the inside out. I pulled my hands to my eyes and felt the burns of wetness on my fingertips. I removed my hands and looked this woman straight into the eyes, screaming in her face.16

“I am not a child! I don’t know where you have been, but I have been everywhere, so don’t act,” I sniffled out as the tears rushed down my face, “as if I don’t understand.” I broke the water gauge and everything flowed out then. My mind was on overload from my own emotion whirlpool. It was just too much.17

I looked back threw the tears to see the girl staring, her face emotionless and bland, but her body soon changed to seem protective towards me. It made me feel safer and less helpless. 18

I tuned into the others around us, a crowd gathered near. My mind seemed to flow to another beat again, voices being banged into my mind. It was like two songs being played at the same time, but at full blast in both ears.19

“What is with that boy on the bench?”20

“Don’t look! I don’t want you to see something like him!”21

“Mommy! Mommy! Isn’t that the weird kid from this park?”22

Tears fumbled out of my eyes, burning my check in a new sensation. I leaned away from the people, trying to cut out the thoughts of hate, but there were too many. Some still scorned, pushing more and more tears out.23

She saw this, this girl right next to me. She could see the pain that I was going threw, and wrapped me in her arms. She tried to protect me, and it kept me going. 24

She screamed and yelled at the people away with, “Get away from this child!” and,”Don’t you have something better to do?” People soon got the hint and left with stares and curious glances, but nothing was less curious than a child crying now. 25

“Are you ok?” she whispered, cradling me closer to her heart beat. I listened to it for a few minutes, but tried to shake her away after a few seconds. She didn’t let go. “Listen,” she started, bringing her mouth down to my ear, “I don’t want you to get upset, so just listen to what I am going to say.” She took a small breath and continued. “My name is Maria. I am running away from all this. Someone, I not saying who, is coming after me. Don’t tell anyone I was here. Ok?” 26

I wanted to read her mind and see if she was lying, but I almost felt the truth, for once, in her, in anyone’s, voice. It was amazing. I wanted to know more, but I held back. I froze in the moment and thought about my questions, nothing really coming to mind. 27

So this is what it feels like to trust someone’s word. I have no doubt that she wasn’t telling the truth. I was so happy. 28

She slowly moved away from me, untangled me, and stood up. She looked at me and smiled with no teeth. Tiny in happiness, Maria ran away, clutching my jacket to her thin frame. I guess she was my first love, but I didn’t ever see her again. 29

I did see her in the newspaper one day, though. I had stolen it from a stand nearby, reading the few comics it had to offer. They gave me a few laughs, but nothing really happy in any sense. I slipped past an editorial to pause on a picture of the girl I just saw only a few days ago. I never did read it, but the title gave me all I wanted to know. I guess I was still young, because I didn’t understand then. Now I do though, the moment past with the tide. ‘Girl Killed for False Crimes’ told me what to expect of the minds of people. 30

I now only trust words, my mind tuning out from screams and shrills.31