A Sister's Fate

I was terrified as I watched. I could barely see across the room, the candle was oddly dim tonight. But he was there. I could hear him whispering to her. She stood there, calmly, looking straight ahead, not saying a word. His finger ran along her tiny form and I could see her cringe, even from my own homemade prison. Her doe-like eyes, once innocent and joyful were now filled with the cold unfeeling gaze of the abused. She looked hollow and I suppose that was for the best. Her little wings still glinted in the light now and then…1

Author notes

I have NO idea where this came from, honestly. I started writing and this is where it took me. Seems to be happening a lot lately.

Maybe I should explain a little... The narrator is a captive, the hollow girl is her sister, both are fae (faeries) They were captured by some brutish man and are now going to be raped. Fun huh?

~Shortest story option~

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • velvet
    December 6, 2004
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    omg wow. i dont like reading stories cuz im too lazy but i clicked this by accident i saw how short it was and decided to read it... and its good that i did. this was wonderful. so cute and simple. i really enjoyed it!


  • InvisibleSoul
    October 21, 2004
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    Great job with this write. Very powerful and it drew me to read it! Great job again and have a great day!

  • -BlackKnight-
    October 20, 2004
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    Short and a bit intriguing. I suggest you lengthen this, but that's all this is, is just a suggestion. Good luck.


  • Kethry
    September 30, 2004
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    Wonderfully poignant. A pristine write. Congratulations on the silver.

  • SerenityNChains
    September 29, 2004
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    Fabulous write.You captured the heart of the poor fae being violated so truthfully.Take away the wings and sadly this could be any number of children in the world.Bravo on such a well worded and visual piece.Thanks for entering

    Blessed be

    ~~Serenity~~

  • Willow
    September 29, 2004
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    OMG you MUST expand on this. This little snippett just will not do. This has got to be going somewhere...I don't know where. But please, I plead of you...don't leave us in suspense to long. IM me when you start this back up, won't you?

    ~Willow~


  • Delphinidae
    September 29, 2004
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    I also echo those thoughts of expansion. I want to know what happends next. You know you have written something very well when your readers are dying to know more. This piece had excellent flow, and was easy to follow, though I want to know more about each charater, and how these sister fae ended up captive. Chapter two, perhaps?

  • Diamond2007
    September 29, 2004
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    This is an awesome write. I really enjoyed it. I agree after the contest you should expand I think there is a great story lurking behind these 100 words. and Just starting to write and letting that take you where ever is a great way to write. Thats how I get my best stuff. Its a lot easier to write when it isn't forced. Anyways great job. Good luck in your contest. Keep writting

  • Acadia
    September 28, 2004
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    Good luck in the contest and this is an awesome story. So much said, in so little words. Very cool.
    ~Acadia~

  • Left-Hand
    September 28, 2004
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    awesome

    I love this piece....I friggin love it...It is witty, and crafted so well that i can feel those wings gently ripping at my heart...I am not an emotional man, especially not moved by many works, but this hit me...great job

  • Touchof1der
    September 27, 2004
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    More! More please!! After the contest you need to expand on this and make a longer story out of it. Great job! Good luck in the contest.

1 - 11 of 11