Eric's Mess 8

1

The parking lot was filled to the brim with scrambling teenagers clutching fresh licenses. A line slowly formed out of the parking area and onto the drive. Being placed in the back lot, the underclassmen had to wait for the school buses to leave before pulling out. To best avoid the traffic jam that produced, we sat patiently.2

The radio was louder than usual and played yet another song I didn't recognize. I wanted to turn it down so badly. Eric sang so much better. He mouthed along, silently lip- syncing.3

As the traffic started to loosen up and disperse out, Eric pulled the car slowly out of its space between the white lines. Creeping along over the bright yellow speed bumps and watching carefully for the brake light to flash in front of us, we trudged on. We followed one line to the right out of the drive onto the main road and picked up speed.4

Eric turned down the music slightly so that he could speak over it. “Just don't let him get to you okay?”5

Of course, I knew he was speaking of his brother though the warning made no sense to me. “Get to me how?”6

A sigh resounded and though he had brought this on himself, Eric was trying to let on that he didn't want to elaborate. “Just don't talk to him... I mean, you can talk to him but don't let him...” He put his hands out in front of him as if he was gesturing something that would explain it for me. I saw nothing.7

“I thought you said that your brother was cool.” Eric had expressed that he got along with his brother, which I knew was not the same as what I was implying.8

Eric glanced at me as we stopped at a light. “He's a good guy.”9

I waited for Eric to continue on that path but the car remained silent. “You're not making any sense.” I said slumping in my seat.10

“I know.” Silence.11

The light turned green and Eric swung the car onto the new street. He started to sing along with the music and I knew my my persistence was doomed. There was no escaping the distraction that washed over me in the form of sound waves. It was like his voice hypnotized me; and I was welcoming it...12

“I won't get used to being gone, and going back won't be the same, if we aren't staying...” Eric's voice droned on, but something felt wrong. My eyes were closed and I was sitting still. No light, no movement, and no noise other than the music.13

I opened my eyes to discover that I was still in the Privus but was parked outside my house. The sun was still up so it couldn't have been that late.14

“Hey.” Eric smiled down at me. 15

I blushed realizing that I had fallen asleep to his voice on the drive back. “Hey.” I smiled back. S itting up I felt my back sting from being in the uncomfortable position for so long.16

“You alright?” My smile must have flinched during my movement. 17

I nodded and unbuckled myself.18

“I didn't want to wake you.” There was a hint of question in his voice telling me he was wondering if he should have anyway. “Too bad my car isn't more comfortable huh?”19

I laughed at his mocking statement trying to place the brand new shiny price that came with his car. “Well, I'm just sorry you had to sit around. I should probably let you go.”20

Eric's smile faded as he turned away from me. “Yeah.” His voice was hollow and airy hiding something else that I couldn't quite place.21

The routine motions kicked into action as I pulled my bag over my shoulder and crept away towards the door. The Privus was gone before I even made it there.22

I rested my head against the door trying to breathe. Everyday I stepped away from him it got harder. I couldn't let myself act like this. I couldn't think like this anymore or one of these days I wasn't going to be able to force myself out of that car or away from his side.23

How do you stop feelings like this?24

My experience in this field I was now treading was extremely limited and I still wasn't prepared to bring my mother into the subject. What could I truly get out of that move if I wasn't ready to be honest?25

After finally lifting my head and striding on in, I set down to do my homework. Chemistry vocabulary, a response to an ecological article on oil drilling in the rain forests, and chapter questions about the Cold War. Not too bad.26

After finishing my vocabulary and response, I whittled away at the nonsense surrounding war. I truly could not make any sense of the reasoning behind such actions. As I was nearing my breaking point of reasoning, my mother stepped through the door.27

“How was your day hun?” She swung her purse onto the dining table and smiled as she poured herself a glass of water.28

I sighed collecting my false persona to exploit. “It was okay. I had a pretty easy day.” Only after I associated myself with Eric did I cover my worries with white lies.29

My mother sat across the table from me. “Well thats good. What homework do you have?”30

My mother, of all people, had always loved history. She always told me it was the easiest subject because the answers were right in front of you. 31

“All you have to do is know what your looking for.”