Bible thumper a series over too much Christainity-Gensis

Like all stories have a beginning, especially the good book...the bible if I must name it. We will start out with Gensis, and that is just where it started. In the beginning there were no kids in the family (obviously because if there were, then our parents were lying to us), until my sister Bram was born, then Ashley, then me (Kelcie), then Trevor, then the twins Jessica and Percilla. 1

You would think that all of the girls would have somewhat of an influence on Trevor, but no. It was always Jesus that had something to say, and sadly it took most of his life (okay all of it). Though it wasn't bad to us, but when your brother is constantly reading the bible, has about 5 copies, several pocket bibles, and subscribes to the daily scripture (a christain newspaper who would of guessed?) it gets a bit annoying.2

You would think even though we are a rather Christian home we would all be such fanatics. No, just Trevor. I believe the whole family had talents and it was true. Bram had her writing and gift with words. Ashley had the gift of quietness, lets just say she's paranoid all the time and in doing so became the quietest person in the house. As for me? I am rather unique in the fact that I have a song for everything.3

Jessica or Sica as we call her was gifted with violence, art and writing. She's more of a comic type writer than Bram with her poetry. Percilla rather, Cici was gifted with math, science, and bluntness. I mean just come out and hit you in the face type bluntness. Anyways, let us get to what I was talking about.4

So, Trevor is our brother, the only one we have and he drives us crazy. How his girlfriend Maily puts up with it? We all don't have the slightest clue. This story isn't really mine to tell, but I'll pop in every once in a while to give you all a heads up as to what my deranged brother is trying to say.5

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"In the beginning God created heaven and the earth; And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness."7

Tears traveled down Trevor's eyes as if the words were not enough for him to express his gratefulness. 8

"Oh, Lord how beautiful your words are to me!"9

Trevor jumped out of his seat at the kitchen table, looking around at all his sisters (those who were there) and settling in on Sica. 10

"Sica, you should get baptised and start your life anew!"11

Sica raised her eyebrows and clinched her fingers into a fist. 12

"If you take out your holy water-"13

Too late, Trevor had already taken out his handy dandy holy water (that almost every Christian should have at all calls) out and began throwing it on her.14

"In the name of the Lord!-"15

"I'm going to kill you!"16

Sica had jumped across the table and was now shoving Trevor down onto the ground.17

"You need to be-"18

"You're so dead!"19

Trevor flopped around trying to get out from under Sica's grip as she tried to grab his neck. 20

"You're making me waste my holy water!"21

"Good maybe you won't throw it on innocent people, like a crazy person!"22

Trevor didn't like the word crazy, it made him feel like he was acting on sinnish things. 23

"I am not a crazy person!"24

Sica had managed to throw the bottle out his hand, but at the same time Trevor had recovered and was up running away.25

"who in the world carries a bottle of holy water around to do random baptizisms besides a priest?"26

Trevor had run over to recover the bottle, just as Cici had come down the stairs to go eat her breakfast.27

"Cici, help me out here. Am I crazy to want to make Sica holier?"28

Cici waved her arms out infront of her, watching her twin and brother fight.29

"I think Trevor if you don't want to be 'holier' yourself quite literally you should not throw holy water on anyone."30

"But..But..."31

"See! you're crazy!"32

Deflatted, laughter emitted around the room. As the other three girls that had been sitting at the table in silence listening pieced together everything that just happened infront of them.33

"Come on Trev. I think you take this bible stuff too seriously."34

Bram had risen from the table trying not to laugh too hard as she took her bowl to the sink. Kelcie had broken out into song once more, and it had something to do with fighthing.35

"Godzilla was hopping around Tokoyo city like a big play ground..."36

Ashley watched the room always observing with her quiet attitude.37

"I think we need to get to school..."38

Bram was talking once more, they all stopped in their tracks. As Trevor had suddenly perked up.39

"I need to bless the cars!"40

He took out from his pockets three more holy water bottles (because every good christian is pre-pared for sudden satanist attacks right?) and ran out the door before anyone could stop him.41

Cici slapped a hand over her face as she watched him go.42

"Tell me why again, did we all turn out just fine and Jesus Christ has somehow demented him? I thought Jesus was a good thing, but in his case I think he takes it to a psychotic level and should be feared for that factor. Is it wrong to feel like being Christian is like asking for it right now?"43

Sica started to laugh again at Cici's comment.44

"I don't know Cici, I think with him around, everyone should be afraid."45

"Meow?"46

Ashley had finally decided this was a time to make her presence known. Kelcie came into the living room putting an arm around Sica.47

"Look at it this way Sica, you can spend time away from him at school."48

All of the sisters got that silent relief that they would have time away from their brother that obviously needed to lay off Jesus.49

"Is it possible that Jesus is secretly a code for him to get on drugs? Because seriously!"50

Bram had come into the room to pick up her back pack.51

"Who is riding with me?"52

She checked around to see that Kelcie and Ashley had opted to take the available seats, leaving the twins with Trevor. All the sisters stared out the window as Trevor ran around the cars throwing holy water on each of them and screaming out.53

"LORD! PLEASE BLESS THESE CARS AND THAT THEY AVOID SATANIC CARS THAT WOULD HARM US! BLESS THEM TO DRIVE WITH YOUR DEVINE HOLINESS!"54

Bram shook her head, as she turned to her sisters.55

"Couldn't we just trank him for the rest of his time in highschool? Or atleast the rest of his time with me in the house?"56

"Hey you don't have to ride with him today, do you have any idea what he listens to for music?"57

Sica put her head down, as Cici finished the sentence. 58

"I don't know if I can stand Jesus loves the little children anymore."59

Sica said it into her hands, as they all heard the front door open. It was the start of new beginning for all of them. Bram was in her third year of college, Ashley her first, and it was Kelcie's senior year. Unfortunately it left Trevor as a Junior and the twins as Sophmores. Gensis meant new beginnings and for all of these people it was a new beginning, to deal with Christainity as if it was hell on earth. Atleast with Trevor the Jesus Christ freak.60