closing time (i haven't titled it yet)

Closing time came early.  The lights came on, and everyone looked at each other bleary eyed for a moment before pealing themselves off of their barstools and shuffling out of the slab in single file.  It was late evening, before early morning, before the dew had slicked the roads, before the fringe of dawn violated the deep night with its violet let to lavender, that time of night when time creeps slowly as if no one would notice it taking a few minutes off to rest.  The lights over the road shown with their unnatural phosphorescence that made the streets resemble caves with the overcast sky for ceilings.  The ceilings moved.  Their lower reaches fastest of all, and only they belied the passage of time when even the crickets had quit their cacophony of courtship.  The wind caught in the awning above the door as it slipped in with its shimmering stride, sparkling with the night’s new companion.  The heavily hung humidity had solidified into a drizzle that coated everything in a sheen the dew would have brought if the drizzled hadn’t. 1

We sang sha la la and walked tied twain with our arms.  Harrrum a tum and lost the timing off the key but too drunk to notice (I had my flask and’ad asked the bar maid for a little jack, she was to right to refuse).  “Soflty, Georgie puddin! don’t want to wake the neighborhood.”2

“Ahh hell... but we’re raisin Cain boy!” I replied, “don’t tell me ‘Softly’!”   Titty titty bang sha la n’all.3

The walk was long, but we ain’t mind, the boy and I and the night.  And the drizzle too, ‘cause by now we were soaked to the skin and could easily see’at soon we’d be soaked through and through and through, so she’as our companion too.  4

We drifted to the door and jingled for a moment until the key was in and then were we. 5

“sHHH… can’t wake the wifey.”6

“thought we was raisin cain?”7

“better leave ‘im low.”8

“ah hell Georgie you worsena politico.”9

“AH SHUT UP!  Dam n’i toljiou t’be quiet.”10

“you’d better get offa that drink, I mean damn george, I can hardly understand you less you yellin.”11

“slip me off on that chair, and theres a bottle a gin in the pantry for ya.”12

So I slid down into deep comfort and waited for sleep to wander his way down into my festive soul.  Quiet like, I heard the boy in the pantry tryin to find the bottle of gin I promised him.  He wouldn’t.  Hell, I don’t drink gin less there’s a fire needs spittin on.  But the bourbon was in the flask and drip drop I licked the last right out of her.  She smiled back at me with an ugly mug.  I wiped the metal, careful to get every last fingerprint and to make sure there wasn’t no scratches on it.  Shiny.  My wife’d gave it to me for Christmas not but four years before.  I looked at it again, seein my reflection on’er, then threw her as hard as I could at the wall.  She hit.  A picture fell with a crash n shattered the glass in it.  Damn, I thought.13

“What the’ell is goin on in here, Georgie? I thought you’as telling me t’be quiet!  What about yer wife?”14

“Ah hell, boy.  You think imma be off at the bar all hours if my wife’s home?  Y’ain’t thought a that huh… well, no you wouldna.  You don’t take to kindly to thinking do ya?  Well that bitch is dead and’as been for two years so don’t you worry bout her, now.”15

George Owens was slow.  A reptile, Hank had once described him, and it wasn’t too bad a description.  He’d sit at the bar and talk lively enough, but getting him to movin was about the most difficult task in the county that you could set a man to.  But you let him get a thought in his head, a bee in his ear, and he could move.  Hell, he could move quick.  He just didn’t.  Not if he could help it.  And he helped it with liquor most of the time since his wife’d passed.  He’d helped it with liquor before, but as a pastime, now it was more a fulltime.  He’d find a new friend ever so often, and they’d drink ‘til walking became a sport only the elect could survive.  So it was somewhat a surprise that on one Friday night he wasn’t to be found at the Slab, but rather round down at the high school game, watching the Tigers get walloped by the Woodsville Warriors. 16

Now, to be truly fair, he did have his dented hip flask, and that’s prob’ly where the trouble started.  17

The night was alive with the excitement of the game.  The light came down in a cascade that flooded the field.  The helmets shown with the reflection of the lights that was only broken by paint and grass stains.  The stands sat in anticipation of the Tiger’s drive that had yet to burgeon into the full of its blossom and sat inert as the teams huddled.  18

George turned his flask back for a quick swig.19

So long.  I ain’t been to one these games since Laura used to drag us out.  20

The flask up again.21

That boy Bobby shows promise, but hell, so’d Hank once… Now he just drank with me.  22

“Hey ther, George.  Sho is good to see ya, up here at the game.”23

“Why’s good t’be here Patty.  Been a long time since I seen our Tigers out.”24

“Well, I hate to be the one to tell ya, George, but ther ain much t’see.”25

“Hell, Patty, e’ryone in town knows that.  T’ain’t no ‘scuse t’miss the game tho, is it.”26

“Well, no, you’re right ther, George, it ain’t.”  Neither is the bar, George, but you ain’t missed one chance at a Friday night ther in two years, now, have ya?27

“No, t’ain’t no ‘scuse.  But I hear tell’at Bobby s’posed to be a lil’a something out ther on that field, tho.”28

“Yessir, that has been the word, but my Bill’ll tell ya, Quaterback ain’t much good without a line, or some receivers, or some backs, or something.  But don’t go telling Wanda I said that, she just over the moon for’er son, thinks he’s gonna break every record ev’r set.”29

“pardon me patty, but which one’s Wanda’s?”30

“Oh… number 82, ther,” pointin, “Johnny.”31

“Johnny Miller, huh, Wanda n Winslow’s boy...  But he ain’t no account?”32

“well, no.  no he ain’t, but don’t you say I said so.”33

“oh no, I wouldn’t dream Patty.  I might be a bit ofa souse, but I can hold my tongue when I need ta.”34

“Oh no, George.  Not’a’tall.”35

“Ain’t no need to try’n make me feel better bout it.”36

“George, I won’t have it.”37

“Imma dipsomaniac, Patty.  It’s okay.  It’s okay, I don’t mind you know, and I know ya do.  Hell, everybody do, it ain’t no problem.”38

“That’s enough, now you hush about that.  Just enjoy the game.”39

“well goodbye patty,” I called at her as she’as already twenty feet away by th’time she finished sayin for me t’enjoy th’game.  40

The flask tipped back again.41

A half hour later the game was windin itself to a close, 21-3.  George started to stagger out of the stands.  Tryin to step over one of the bleachers he caught his foot and tumbled down to the base of them with a collection of bangs and the rattle of his empty flask.  42

“Gotdamit, George.  Get a holt ah yerself.”  Winslow.  He’idn’t say it none to quiet neither.  The game wasn’t no account so half the stands’ad turned back to see what the noise was, and the other half to here what that pipsqueak Winslow was yellin about.  Well, he’ad been a pipsqueak when he’as a freshmen and I’as a senior at ol’ Taylor High, and you know how them mem’ries stick.  He wadn’t no pipsqueak no more, though.43

I’as stunned.  Couldn move for a minute, thought I’d broke somethin, after that minute tho, I’as able to start tryin to move.44

“Ah shut up, Winslow.  Duh’n’t nobody want t’hear you whinin yer stringy lit’l ass around here.”45

“George, you dam drunk, what th’ell’r’you doin at this game anyway?  Somebody pry you off your barstool at the Slab?”46

“I see you down there of’en enough.  You shouldn’t talk like that t’me.”47

“Y’ain’t gone remember any a this tommarra any how. What ah you care how I talk to ya?”48

I leaned on my left arm, pullin myself up. “Winslow, you no good piece ah malfeasance.  I oughta—“49

“you don’t even know what you just called me you uneducated twad.  Get the hell outta here before you make a scene.”50

“Make a scene? Make a scene? After you done just bout called me out in front of all these folks?  You telling me not to make a scene?”51

“you should know better than t’come to a game.  Hell, anywhere out in public.”52

“Hell, you should know better than to come to one of these games when Johnny can’t catch a damn ball and he’s a startin wide!”53

I had just about gotten myself up to my feet when Winslow took it into his head that I belonged back on the ground and if ther’as any one the job belonged to it’as him.  One swing and I’as on my ass again.  He’idn’t stop there.  54

It took a few of them boys to get him off me.55

They weren’t to overzealous about it, neither.56

Ain’t no one offer me a ride to the house, neither.  So I picked up my flask and hobbled my poor ass home.57

Laura laughed.  I reached on over and pulled her closer to me cross the sofa. 58

“Now, what the hell d’you think is so funny?”59

“George, you are a card.  T’hell’s amatter with you, talking like that to Rosemarie?”60

“Well, now, that ain’t my fault, ah tall.  What bis’ness’as she got comin round here and askin for hand out like she ain’t get her gov’ment check?  She’s got them food stamps.  She ain’t gotta ask us for money like we made of it.  Like the co-op done seen fit to bestow upon us a grand a week or somethin.  Hell, she makes more off her kids a month than I do workin.  Maybe I should quit and we should just bed up for a couple months and see how much they’ll pay us…  Hell, I ev’n heard they’ll pay you extra if your kids deeform’d, so we can just stay in the bedroom and get shitfaced and make sure to get as much off a them as we can.”61

Laura was laughin and hittin my arm like I’d said something wrong.  I wrapped my arm around ‘er and held ‘er to me. 62

“Just shut up ya self righteous bitch!  So I’ve’ad a few… ain’t nuthin wrong with’at.  Quit actin like I’m some kinda souse, gotdamit.  I don’t want ta hear no more a this bullshit.”63

“Bullshit! BULLSHIT!!  FUCK YOU GEORGE!”  A plate smashed into the wall next to me.  The mashed potatoes staid on the wall.  The chicken fell.64

Hell.  She’as mad again.  She’idn’t understand’at ever so often a man needs to go to th’bar.  I wasn’t roarin.  I never raised my hand to her, but she’d get ‘erself hissed over anythin,65

“Look, babe, I’m sorry the chicken n dumplins got cold, but how’as I to know you’d cooked for me?  M’I sposed to just know from nuthin?”66

“Well, how the hell m’I sposed to supprise ya?  Ya ain’t never fuckin home!  You just leave me here like I ain’t got nuthin better to do than to sit here waitin on ya all night!  You could at least call me and tell me yer gonna be late.”67

“m’I on some kinda fuckin choke chain?  No… no you know what? I ain’t dealin with this.  I refuse to deal with this shit.  You tired a bein alone all night, we hell, now ye’ll be alone ALL night. Ya gotdam cooze.”68

The door slammed behind me, and the truck turned right over.69

“What’s up boys?  I’m back!”70

“HEY GEORGE!”71

“you know george, we just don’t see enough of you round here.”72

”Well, thank you Hank.  What with the wife and the job, I ain’t really got that much time to come round but once a week.  But the wife gave a reprieve tonight and I’m here with ya the rest of the evenern.”73

“Well, shit!  Boys, George is with us!”74

Iss hard to get that memory out.  ‘specially when I’m drunk n walkin n just out of the ballgame.  I couldn believe that it’d happen like that.  I couldn quite… I’as mad, right, but I’as just gon be gone that night.  I wasn’t goin to no cathouse.  I wasn’t playin with no filly.  Maybe it was callin ‘er a bitch n a cooze.  But whateve it was that was the night she’d done it.  In the livin room. 75

I fell on my ass.  Like my legs gave out under me n’I fell on my as.  Sorta set down and staid ther for a minute.  Everytime I thought about it…it jus didn make sense.  Why?  Why’uld she hang ‘erself.  It didn’ make no sense.  It was my fault.  I wasn’t around enough, I never deserved ‘er, I’as jus a no account rough neck bastard who called her a cooze… But stiil it didn make no fuckin sense.  She’as a strong girl; she survive her paw.  She never let nothin get to her til I came around… maybe that was it.  Maybe she let me in deep wher she never let no one before, and cuz I called ‘er a cooze, she broke.76

I’as cryin by now.  Been cryin for a minute.  Flipped my flask back, but she betrayed me, too.  Empty.77

Jus like me.78

The key clicked into the deadbolt and the door opened jerkily.  His face was dirty and streaked with tears.  It was a show of emotion that would never occur sober.  It had occurred with a sad frequency in the passed two years.  He pealed himself out of his button down shirt and tossed it on the sofa, already working on his T.  He began to make his way to the bathroom at a laboriously contemplative pace, getting ready for a hot shower.79

“Why ain’t you never moved out this house, George?”80

“Hank, what the—why—how the hell’d you get in here?”81

“You shouldn’t leave the back door unlocked, George.”82

“Dammitall Hank.  You scared the life out of me.”83

“Why ain’t you never moved outta this house, George?”84

“And go wher, Hank?  Wher do I have to go?  What do I have anywhere else?”85

“What do you have here George?”86

“Mem’ries.”87

“Why the hell don’t you move?”88

“Ah hell, Hank.  Why’on’t you jus leave.”89

The water pelted my face, washing over my body.90

I sat in the barstool, Hank next to me, and ordered a shot a Jack and a Coors Light.91

“So the wife gave you a reprieve?  Don’t mean nothin by it, George, but it’on’t sound like Laura to me.”92

“Wel’it ain’t got ta, now does it?”93

“No.  No, it don’t,” Hank replied knockin back a shot.94

“If ya gotta know, it’s more a ‘repreive’ I gave my damn self.  Felt I desered’it.”95

“Sure you deserve it, George.  Sure you do.”  He said as I knocked mine back.96

“You got a cigarette?”97

I toweled my hair dry, looked at myself in the mirror and sat down hard on the toilet.98

Closing time always seems to come early.  The lights come on, and we all jus sit there and look at each other, one thought running through our communal mind: what now?  Hank and I never really had an answer, but he usually had a bottle and we’d drive down one them farm roads, you know covered in caliche, park some’er and work the bottle down a couple inches before callin it a night.  Wasn’t too different that night.  After she’as gone we’d finish the bottle.   I’d have another with me and we’d work that one til she’as gone.  So we were drivin back into town, the dust still white on the tires, and I said I thought we’d do good by stoppin in at the greasy spoon and catchin a little breakfast, it workin on four o’clock’n all.  Hank agreed, and we set ourselves down at the Waffle House by the highway and Delores took our order.  She’idn’t look to kindly at me, being Rosemarie’s mother and all, she knew all about that mess.  I wondered if Laura knew the half of it.  I hoped she didn’t.  99

We took our time eatin’, Hank had the huevos rancheros and I had the chicken fried steak breakfast.  After I finished my hashed browns, I leaned back in the seat and said, 100

“I guess that’s enough of the silent treatment for tonight, eh, Hank?”101

“I guess you deserved it.”102

“That I did, ol’ boy.”103

Hank dropped me outside the slab and I got in my pick up and headed for home.104

It clicked and spoke in its staccato of cocking mechanical parts.105

I parked on the drive.  The lights were out.  A good sign.  I silently hoped she hadn’t waited up, that she’as asleep an’I wouldn’t have to deal with her.  I unlocked the door, opened it.   Ther she was, a chair kicked out under her.  Her tongue thick in ‘er mouth.  The rope around ‘er swollen neck.  Her face black and purple.  I fell to my knees, I put my head I my hands.  I like to screamed but didn’t, I jus howled softly into my saliva and tear drenched hands and…106

Jus sobbed.107

I was still sobbin.  Had been for two years. I jus couldn’t put it together why’d she’ve killed herself.  I put the pistol to my head.  To my temple.  I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and pulled the trigger.  And I remembered.108

I left the house to go to the bar, but someway there I jus turned around and went back to the house.  I kicked the door open and saw she’as sittin on the sofa in tears.  109

“What the fuck is this about?” I yelled. “you know I’ll be comin home whenever I want to!  What are you so gotdamn upset about?”110

“GODDAMN IT GEORGE! You know I don’t give a good goddamn whether you drinkin or not, or what Hank and you’re doin BUT I KNOW!”111

“KNOW WHAT BITCH? There ain’t nothing to know.”112

“THERE AIN”T NOTHIN TO KNOW?!? WELL WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ROSEMARIE?”113

I went blank.114

“what?” I asked softly.  “what did you just say to me?”115

I saw panic and doubt flash in ‘er eyes at the same time.  116

“Don’t play with me George.  I know.”117

“Did that cooze piece a dried up poon tang tell you I’d done somethin?”118

“DON’T PLAY WITH ME!  I KNOW!”119

“You stupid cunt.  You don’t know shit.”  I said about to turn and leave.120

“Then why’s she pregnant?  She ain’t got no man.  And why’d’I find her FUCKIN PANNIES IN YOUR GOTDAMN TRUCK, YOU LIEIN SACK OF GOOD FER NUTHIN SHIT PUKIN—“121

My hands cut her off.  I grabbed her throat and started chokin her.  I held her till she passed out then threw a rope over a beam in the livin room, tied it around her neck and hoisted her up.  She woke right quick started kickin and tryin to scream but didn’t shit come out.  Jus a hoarse breath, like a rake over gravel.  She grabbed the rope.  Kept kickin, til she quit.  I put a chair under her, turned out the lights, locked the door and left.122

The body of George Owens was found the next day with half its skull blown out.  Friends and relatives said they’d expected it since he’d lost Laura and were surprised that he’d lasted as long as he had.  Within a few months, he and his wife were almost completely forgotten.  In fact, people were almost glad to have George gone, his being a constant reminder of Laura’s death.  She had been the prom queen and a shining star that everyone was sad to see go.  George had been no account almost his whole life.  Everyone had been surprised at her choice of husband, and her staying by him for so long.  They felt her suicide validated their thinking.123