Summon demons from the Dark!1
The witches gather!
Spirits summoned,
Gods invoked
and Satan called!2
The time is come for Magic Spells
gathered from an ancient Book,
written in the Seven Hells,
and very often much mistook
for merest volume esoteric
long forgotten, of historic
bland conjecture and mistakes...3
When sunlight sleeps, the Dark awakes. 4
The blackness of a starless night
hides much more than it reveals,
shocking children into fright
while the tender baby wails
frightened cries in shadowed rooms -
The babies know what men do not:
The witches have begun their spells
ringing blackly blessed bells,
baptized in the tainted wells
of molten iron, burning hot.
Forged to life by Satan's hand
and rung with tones of dulcet sound
Only children understand
that to hear is to be bound
into a hellish servitude
for long as life can be construed
as living: 5
Tender babes, beware,
the dark of night hides many terrors.
Haunted horrors that live to scare
have all been summoned on this night.6
Let us see how witches work
the magic of the ancient book:7
The witches number in thirteen,
all gathered 'round a heated bowl;
a sacred vessel, polished clean,
so that the practiced eye can glean
the future from its glossy surface.
It's the source of their control. 8
"Call Azazel," cries a witch
throwing in a beating heart.
It falls into the bowl - a splash!
And with their wicked witch's art
Azazel comes to join the fray.
Baal, Cain, and Beezelbub
are each in turn made to convene
upon the green of summer grass,
Every witch makes separate pass
to bring more evil to the world:9
And so are hell's own demons called. 10
Bowl and Bell and Ancient Book
are all the tools a witch might need
to make her darkest dreams come true,
to soothe her lust, excite her greed.
And with the speed of light and sound,
the demons rise from dirty ground
in order that they may compound
the world's sins a thousand times. 11
So go to sleep, my little ones
and say your prayers, the morning comes
too slowly on this evil night.
The Dark has come to quench the light
as Book and Bell and polished Bowl
threaten every Christian soul,
while witches scour empty skies,
looking for a baby's eyes
to sweeten their infernal brew. 12
So rest ye well, and bid adieu.13
The end is near and hope is gray.
The Darkness has arrived to stay.
And morning's light may never show.
As ringing bells sound from below
to summon soul to Satan's glory. 14
And so ends your bedtime story.
Author notes
Happy Halloween! *cackles*
**Should anyone happen to notice any places where the rhyme scheme has a snag, please post the exact line in your comments, along with whether or not it was too MANY syllables or too few. Whenever I write a rhyming poem, it always sounds perfect to me at first, because I know what words to emphasize and what words to read speedily. It's easy to lose perspective that way. Thus, I appreciate any help you might be able to give.**
In a list
A contest entry
- The Poet's Challenge: Round I by Asfand.
100 points, ended November 10, 2007, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Rhythm (ALL POETRY) by ZackTruel.
300 points, ended November 26, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
It flowed really good. this is an amazing poem. I coudl picture it in my mind and i love the imagination./
-
As a witch I could get offended
but won't. I know it's just a poem and most of us don't practice the darker arts.
But I think it flowed nicely. I loved the imaginary (spelled that wrong). I'd be scared it this was read to me when I was young.
Brooke
-
Hi Delfishie---My love affair with poetry is not, in being able to analyze it, but to put it to memory. Robert Service & Pauline Johnson are my two favorite poets. Now I couldn’t tell you their rhyme scheme, or for that matter carry on a technical discussion about either of their works.
A poem, for me to enjoy it has the have two constants. One; -- It has to have a song, a rhyme that is almost like a hit song with out the music. Two; --- It has to relate to something of interest to me, it has to tell me a story.
Your piece has a nice rhyme to it, but it doesn’t tell a story at least one I’m interested in.
It dose pick a topic and stick to it very well, doing a sort of waltz, with words and thoughts. So I think it’s pretty good effort; sorry I can’t be of any more help than that, but what can one expect from an old slush puppy like me.
Talk to you soon---ablelaz.
-
Well, I didn't care much for the theme because I am not the type to like gothic, satanic, or witchcraft ideas. However, the rhyme and rhythm was amazing! It flowed perfectly, and you used very vivid descriptive words! This contest is about rhyme and rhythm, not about content. SO even though I do no like the theme, I am sure you will be on the finalists list.
-
The rhyme was very well done. The peom was long, a little repetative but very good none the less.
-
Nice job
Sorry, this is about the best comment I can give. I really don't know much about critquing poetry. But I enjoyed it.
-
OMG! I LOVED your rhyme scheme and rhythm!! Sorry, I stink at critiquing poetry - this was all amazing. Sounds like something Macbeth's witches would cook up XD
Good luck in the contest!
~Aya
-
I love your punctuation, it makes a person stop and continue when you want them to. That is the kind of control we look for, the way you compell your reader without telling them something.
And finally, some that has not capitalized every sentence.
I liked the rhyming for most of the part, it flows very very well. There were some lines that were a little hard to read with the tone of the poem.
*
long forgotten, of historic
bland conjecture and mistakes...3
==> this line was awkward for me to read. you stop at 'of historic' and I'm left in mere fragments to compelete the rhyme with respect to the previous tone, but it actually has to change here ~
I love where you went with the prompt, it was pretty deep. I also like the diea of the Book, Bell and Bowl as the tools. Very nice.
I see this more of as a descriptive poem, I had the feeling form the beginning that it was a story of sorts. Wonderful job, very original. Nothing much to criticize on, this is pretty great ~
-
-
Thanks for the review! I reread the poem again, but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to fix the
"long forgotten, of historic
bland conjecture and mistakes"
line you mentioned. From my (incredibly biased and myopic) viewpoint, the rhyming works, but I know I'm not seeing it right. Any suggestions?
-
-
Wow.
I guess it seemed a little... well, I don't want to say cliche - something along those lines - at times. But then, that's Halloween for you, innit? And I can't blame you for not inventing new witchiness, or for using the Satanic witch as opposed to the Gaian witch.
As always, Del, you bring new meaning to the term "creepeh" (which isn't a term yet, so good job giving it a meaning). While I can't say it made me as paranoid in my sleep as some other work, it was a rich All-Hallows Eve poem, and the rhyme scheme was well-designed. Props x7/10.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
