Calvin and Hobbes: The House of No Return: Part One

PART ONE1

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CALVIN AND HOBBES, OR THE CHARACTERS. BILL WATTERSON IS THE CREATOR OF THE COMIC SERIES, SO...2

It was an unusual hot autumn day in Calvin’s town. The temperature was a shocking 97 degrees. Calvin’s town hasn’t reached that temperature in this season since 1935.3

I guess you can say that they made a record. It was 1:00 in the afternoon and Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in Calvin’s room with nothing to do. Let's look at a video of them of what they were doing at the time, shall we?4

Well, it looks like Calvin was lying on his bed, sweating, and Hobbes was doing the same, except he was lying on the floor. Hobbes was holding a damp washcloth. He wiped it on his forehand before lightly throwing it on Calvin’s bed, next to Calvin. The dehydrated, sweaty, and overtired Calvin picked up the wet washcloth and wiped it constantly on his forehead. He sighed immediately as the cool washcloth touch his skin. Hobbes slowly got up from the floor and looked at Calvin weirdly.5

“Why the heck are you putting that washcloth on your face? I wiped my sweat off my forehead with that.”6

Shocked, Calvin quickly took the washcloth off his face and threw it out the window. A cat was heard moments later. Hobbes’ eyes grew big.7

“That’s your mom’s favorite washcloth. She’s going to kill you when she sees it on the sidewalk.”8

“Hobbes, everyone is inside today. Every house in town (Except for ours) probably have their AC’s and fans on full blast. No way in a million years will Mom walk out that door. It’s h-”9

Calvin was interrupted by Hobbes’ groaning. Calvin all of a sudden jumped out of bed with excitement. Hobbes again looked at Calvin weirdly.10

“Um…why may I ask are you jumping like a lunatic?”11

“Because I have an idea that’ll give us something fun to do! Remember that creepy old house on Hickory Street?”12

Hobbes quickly shut his eyes and shuddered in response.13

“Don’t remind me. Makes me shiver whenever I think about it or walk right past it. Remember last time when I ran away from my crush when she mentioned it to me?”14

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***FLASHBACK***16

Hobbes was sitting next to Susie Derkins on a bench at the park. Hobbes stared at Susie like a Vulture looking for food. After five minutes of what seemed like an eternity, Hobbes cleared his throat. He was about to say something when Susie got off the bench and said, “I walked past that haunted house on Hickory Street yesterday. That place gave me the creeps.”17

Hobbes’ eyes grew big, his knees shook and his arms shook uncontrollably, like he was possessed by a ghost. 30 seconds later, Hobbes screamed long and loud as he jumped off the bench and ran out of the park. He ran in the left direction, still screaming. Moments later, he ran in the right direction. He obviously ran the wrong way. He was still screaming.18

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***END OF FLASHBACK***20

Calvin chuckled, almost holding his sides. “I remembered that! You were running home like a little schoolgirl!”21

Hobbes gave Calvin a quick glare before continuing. “No way, not even for all the tuna in the world will I go inside that house.”22

Calvin hesitated a little before chuckling some more. He shrugged and walked out the bedroom. Hobbes was shocked that Calvin hasn’t said anything, not even a word. He didn’t even show nonverbal behavior. Hobbes looked around, frightened. His eyes moved back and forth continuously. He was with Calvin for so long that when Calvin leaves a room without saying anything, he gets worried. It wasn’t long until Hobbes finally moved. He ran out of the room at a shocking 95 mph, faster than the fastest land animal, the cheetah.23

“Hey, wait for me! Don’t leave me here all cold and aloooone!”24

LIVING ROOM, 1:15 PM25

Calvin walked into the living room, where he saw his mom watching her favorite soap operas. Scoffed that he’s seeing his mom watching soap operas, Calvin walked right past Mom. Mom surprisingly didn’t see Calvin walk right past her. As Calvin went into the kitchen, Mom jumped and looked around quickly.26

“Something’s just not right.” With that, Mom grabbed the remote that was next to her and turned the TV off. She got off the couch and ran into the kitchen.27

Calvin was standing in front of the backyard door. As soon as he opens it, he will walk into a warm oven. The longer he stands or walks into the warm oven, the more hellish the oven will get.28

Yep, that’s right. That was a simile I made up.29

Or was that a metaphor? I always get those two mixed up.30

Anyways, Calvin was putting his hand on the doorknob. He was about to twist the doorknob if Mom hadn’t ran into the kitchen and stopped him.31

“CALVIN! What on Earth are you doing?” Calvin quickly looked at his Mom. Her arms were crossed, she was tapping her right foot, and she was glaring at Calvin. Obviously, she was not very happy.32

“Uh…hello, Mommy…”33

“Calvin, answer my question.” Mom told Calvin as calmly as she could. Calvin gulped and laughed nervously.34

“I gotta think of something fast!” Calvin thought as he quickly came up with an excuse. He snapped his fingers when he thought of an excuse.35

“I want to play in the backyard.” After Calvin said that, he slapped his forehead in disgust.36

“I thought of an excuse for two minutes and THAT was it? No way! She’s definitely not going to buy that!”37

After a couple of seconds, Mom replied by saying, “Well, if you’re going outside, at least put on a hat!” Mom got out Calvin’s Dad’s hat and put it on Calvin’s head. It was tan and it said, “The World’s Healthiest person”.38

Mom then got out a bottle of sunscreen and put half the bottle of sunscreen on Calvin. Calvin groaned as he tried to get out of Mom’s grip.39

“Too much! Too much! Now I’m all sticky!”40

“You can never have too much sunscreen, Calvin. Besides, you need it; it’s a scorcher out there! Now, hold still!”41

Moments later, after Calvin’s mom was done covering Calvin’s entire body with sunscreen, she gave Calvin his backpack. In it was 5 large bottles of water, and fruit and veggies. Calvin groaned again as he saw what was in his backpack.42

“Now, go and play outside and next time when it’s this hot, use your common sense. Where’s Hobbes? I thought he was with you this entire time.”43

“Nah, he doesn’t want to go t…er, play with me.”44

“Well, I can see why. Now, out you go.” Mom lightly pushed Calvin out the door as Calvin was now in the backyard.45

Five minutes later, Calvin was in the sandbox, playing with his red truck. He looked at the house and noticed his mom looking at him at her bedroom window (The top window of the house). He was waiting until his mom was not watching him. Then and only then will he go to the haunted house on Hickory Street. Calvin sighed as he looked at the colorless sand in his sandbox. A minute later he looked at Mom’s bedroom window to see if his mom was watching him still. To his surprise, she was not in the window watching him. Calvin quickly formed a smile on his face, a smile so big that his cheekbones began to hurt when he did it for a long period of time. Calvin quickly took the huge smile on his face and rubbed his cheekbones.46

That’s when he dropped his red truck, got up and ran out of the sandbox, running towards the hole at the bottom of the fence. The hole’s about Calvin’s size. Once he’s on the other side of the fence, he’s in the creek. After 13 minutes, the creek will end and Calvin will be in the woods, and then after 5 minutes, he’ll be out of the woods, walk to the left for a minute, and then, and only then will he be standing in front of the haunted house on Hickory Street.47

But once again, he was interrupted by his mom as she walked into the backyard and caught Calvin standing in front of the fence.48

“Calvin! What on Earth are you doing?” Calvin gulped again and turned around. There was his mom, standing in front of him, carrying a stuffed tiger (Hobbes).49

“I’m just looking at the view of the woods, that’s all.” Calvin replied, trying not to sound like he’s lying. Mom sighed and gave Hobbes to Calvin.50

“I saw Hobbes in the hallway upstairs. You really need to keep an eye on him.” With that, Mom turned around and walked back inside the house. Calvin then gave Hobbes a quizzical look.51

“Why were you in the hallway?”52

Hobbes groaned and rubbed his head. “I was alone in your room, so I followed you. But I collapsed from dehydration. I don’t know how long I was out, but the next thing I know, your mom was carrying me!”53

Calvin shook his head. “You know how Dad is. He wants to save money, so the AC in the house is never touched except for one time last winter. He’s a lawyer for Pete’s sake! I bet he has lots of money! ….Anyways, did you bring the goods? All my mom gave me in my backpack was water, fruits, and vegetables. Blech!”54

“Yep, I did. While your Mom was carrying me into the kitchen, I stretched my arm out and unnoticeably took a bag of chips and some cookies. But, I did it quickly, since your mom was walking fast.” Hobbes then patted his fur pocket, where the chips and cookies are. Calvin laughed.55

“Sweet! Let’s go! We have a long journey ahead of us, buddy!” Calvin and Hobbes then hopped over the fence and began walking into the creek.56

END OF PART ONE!57