The Death

Anne looked on sadly as they buried her brother. It had been a terrible collision accident.1

She glanced at his beautiful widow Cynthia. She was standing alone, watching the burial as the family wept in grief, shedding a few tears herself. 2

As Cynthia closed the door on the last guest, she turned and smiled at her faithful manservant Pierre, wiping her tears away.3

'Well done, Pierre,' she said softly. 'You deserve a raise.' 4

He laughed and handed her a glass of champagne. He raised his glass. 'To us, the most successful murderers in the 5

business. Another estate is now ours.' 6

Author notes

Well, I finally got it in a 100 words.......

A contest entry

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Loonamist
    February 11, 2007
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    short. needs more detail. Is there more to it? There should be. It's kind of empty. Thanks though!


  • DamnUnique
    December 5, 2005
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    AWESOME!!! The twist was simply superb. I had thought that maybe it's some sad story and would talk about 'poor' Cynthia. Even the title suggested that maybe this is gonna be some serious read. But this was hilarious! The end, I mean.
    Er...by the way, how did you manage to write it in JUST 100 words? Already story writing is a tough task and a story of 100 words? WHOA!
    Great job.

  • sleepysmile3
    January 20, 2005
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    Oh man I love flash fiction...

    ...very nicely done. I believe that endings and title's are the most important in this genre, and you did both well.

    ~Rosey

  • mina nagi
    January 16, 2005
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    I'm terrible when it comes to write stories... I run out of pateince... but you've done a good job depicting the plot in 100words... well done...
    mina


  • MidnightWanders
    January 3, 2005
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    short and sweet, I love it.

  • LiquidLullaby
    January 2, 2005
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    100 words is quite a feat, amazing story in such a small package, very unique! Thanks for entering!
    Love,
    Katy
    ~*LiquidLullaby*~


  • Medea
    January 1, 2005
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    I wondered where that was going...very surprising ending though. This would make a great story...more than just the one hundred words. Only thing I didn't like is the change of perspective. I got confused when it switched from Anne to Cynthia. For a while I thought the sister killed him, not the wife. But that might have just been because I don't pay very good attention sometimes. Anyway, great write and good luck in the contest.

  • bannedforever
    October 27, 2004
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    Woah...that was a surprise ending...my head is still spinning. I love that twist. That is the perfect example of a short fiction. Set up the situation, and a twist at the end. I love that. You also showed some great emotions during the funeral using your words. I really liked that. It takes talent to be able to write a story, complete with a small plot, in only one hundred words. You're obviously a good writer. Thank you for entering my contest. I really loved reading this short story. Good luck! I'm going to aplaud this one...

  • Papillon1
    October 16, 2004
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    Great write. I really enjoyed the twist. I could see this becoming a novel! How many more can they kill before they get caught? Will their love last if they have to go to court? How many years will she get behind bars, and what kinds of twisted things will she do to get her way in prison?


  • -Autumn-
    October 9, 2004
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    Great write, I love your twist. You have performed the transition between touching and haunting very very well, and you have touched many emotions in your short spell of 100 words.

    Thanks for sharing this with us.

    xxx Delta

  • SerenityNChains
    September 29, 2004
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    Great twist and so....murder she wrote!!I loved it.Thanks so much for entering and as always....blessed be

    ~~Serenity~~

  • MsLaDyAvErAgE
    September 28, 2004
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    This was a very nice write. I like how atthe end you twisted it. I never would've thought that the wife and butler had set up her husband's death. Nice write and good luck in the contest.

  • Touchof1der
    September 24, 2004
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    It's amazing what greedy hearts will thinkup. They obviously lacked the desire and drive to earn a living for themselves, they reaped the benefits of someone elses labor. That's why I'm spending mine as I go! Great story! Good luck with the contest!


  • Mari Goes
    September 24, 2004
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    I hear from Susan that you posted a new story and I came to read it. What a pleasant surprise
    I enjoy reading your stories because you have a very good imagination and use it very good!
    This time wasn't different, you told a very good story and that using only 100 words! Well done!

    Kisses and love,
    Mari


  • September 23, 2004
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    hmmm...I wonder why the wife didn't inherit. I guess it's for the best, she would have been a goner as well. Of course, you never know with Pierre. Maybe he'll get greedy and whack Anne like she deserves!


  • Araina
    September 23, 2004
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    Very well done. That is messed up though, but people are greedy. Anyway, there is no way I could write a story in 100 words. That is just amazing. Good job!


  • SusanL
    September 23, 2004
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    Well now this Wonderful young Author makes another appearance. It is a nice little tale you have spun here. Nothing like a little intrigue to get things going first thing in the morning.
    I think you made effective use of your 100 words!
    Susan

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