We climbed into the car, ready for a night’s adventure. The goal? We were to get as hammered as possible in a short period of time. The loser was the first to get sick. When that happened, they had to pay the whole tab. Good thing I was ready. There was no way I was going to lose.1
“You’re goin’ down, Ray Ray.” I smirked.2
“I don’t think so, buddy. You can keep dreamin’. I’m gonna whoop you,” he laughed jovially. 3
We headed toward our usual watering hole. The night was busy with cars and people. It took almost 20 minutes to find a parking spot, it was so packed. When we finally found one, Ray Ray quickly slid into it. 4
“Remember where we parked man,” I joked. “I’ll be too far gone to.” 5
“Nah, we’ll tell Trent,” Ray Ray said. 6
Trent was going to be our DD for the night. A DD is a designated driver, for those that don’t know. We knew enough that, if we were going to get trashed to have someone cover our ass. 7
I laughed and started ribbing him about how he was going to be losing his pay cheque that night. He tried to get me going, but I knew by far I was the heavier drinker of the two. I knew my limit and enjoyed a fair amount of alcohol. Tonight was going to be a night to remember. Tonight was going to be ‘THE’ night. I didn’t know why. I could just feel it. 8
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A contest entry
- Quicky heaven by plurangel.
600 points, ended October 23, 2007, 17 entries
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I don't know if it's good or not, or if it's even worth continuing.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thinking that one of them is going to die was my reaction to this story. It is short and doesn't have a beginning or ending yet.
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Hehe, I should make a bet like this with someone, if it wasn't for the fear and high probability of losing =P Well written short piece, that should be continued! I like the way it's written, and the way it tells an everyday story, but still manages to be interesting =) Well done =D Keep up the good work! ;D
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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very cute story,sounds like a few people I know LOL anyway I can't wait to read more and find out how this night ends...you sure grabbed my attention, I am always the DD LOL,I really hope you do continue the story and not leave us hanging!it is a great write so far!!!I thought the beginning was just fine!
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It is good but I think that it could use some more work. I think you should write more and add detail about the watering hole and the characters. Also some hints about what they are going to do and why its important would be good for the beginning of the story.
beginning: 3.
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I think you have made a great start, just needs a better ending, it didn't seem finished. The idea is great, just go with it, write it, then iron it out.
One thing I must comment on is why is he called Ray Ray, can he not be just Ray. I found that annoying. Just my opinion though.
Sarah.beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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you had a good plotline going here. but i expected more than you cutting it right where it ended. there are a million ways you could have continued this story. i do give you credit on not having any mistakes mechanic wise. i do hope you continue this though. goodluck
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