The Basic Beast Inside

It starts out so simple, a basic desire that I can ignore. But it grows so quickly, it consumes my mind until I cant ignore it any longer and I want to tear apart the first human I see. I mean I can still turn it down but it's always throbbing in the back of my mind, always growing, always craving. The closer people get to me when it's there the more danger they're in and they don't even know it. I try to see myself as one of them, you know, to turn myself away from it but it never works. I use every ounce of will power I possess. I tell myself I can beat it I can beat it. I'm like a little kid saying "I think I can, I think I can" Except I know deep down that I can't. It's a terrible thing that shouldn't even exist. It's a murderer, it's a monster. Eventually it gets so strong that I don't dare to ignore it, the beast spreads itself through out my mind and I surrender to it because I have no choice. My most wild, animalistic, natures take over and I am a demonic predator. I snatch up someone at random and, under The Beast's orders, I sink my teeth into their throat and it cries out in joy! It kills without mercy through me and then lays back down until it wants to feed again. Because it always has to feed...and it always wins.

Author notes

See if you can guess what song I was listening to while writing this. HINT: Think ROCK!

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Immortal Obscurity
    December 30, 2007

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    Hmmm... I'm guessing that the song is "Vampire Heart", or something by HIM? I'm probably WAAAAAAAAAAY off, but yeah. Another solid attempt by you... Well done!


    • Violet Hawthorne
      December 30, 2007
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      no its not. Very good guess though. Actually the song is not a vampire song. I'll message it to you if you want idont want to post it here unles any1 else wants to guess


  • Noominimeg
    November 1, 2007

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    Excellent!

    I enjoyed that very much. I don't normally read vampire writings, but I just couldn't stop reading and wanted to see how it ended.

    Cant in the 2nd sentence needs an apostrophe: can't

    Well done!


  • demon-kun
    November 1, 2007
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    wow i loved it^.^ it was deeo and awsome


  • DarkOneShadow
    October 28, 2007

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    Very accurate interpretation of the beast, however, I think it would be better if you showed the beast as you, not a separate person. The part "Under the beast's orders" I don't see happening, but if you replaced with something more basic, like "the smell of his skin, his blood, calling to me like a sweet rare red wine or a rare steak that I can't ignore"

    But otherwise, excellent work, I look forward to reading more of your stories... they have alot of potential.

    Til we meet again in the darkness...

    DarkOne


  • Restless and True
    October 22, 2007

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    I like how you called it the beast. That was really different to me. I wish I could write anything about vampires that was half this good.

    "Because it always has to feed...and it always wins."

    ~Restless and True~

1 - 7 of 7