Stand Up


Stand up
By Ayesha Raees1

Will I be able to sail my own ship
Without any workers
Or any maps?
Pounding the waves
And living through the storms
With strangers as my crew
And only coffee to brew
The foggy paths
Putting the net for fish
But sometimes getting nothing
Losing my crew in storms
My compass pointing south
My instincts pointing north
Gas leaks
Fire burns
It’s a risk but things are unpredicted
I might find gold
I might catch fish
My crew will not rebel
I will have a good night’s sleep2

And as you can see
That a journey has two paths
Think negative; go negative
Think positive; go positive
You will fall
And make mistakes
But always get up and travel along
The path of success
Everyone make mistakes
But the challenge is
To learn from them.3


4

Author notes

Username: Ayesha Raees

This poem doesnt have ryme... no it doesnt and yes i know that it doesnt...
BUT! ryming is not important when you wanna express your thoughts!
its a metaphorical poem... comparing the hard stuff of life with a ship.

just tell me what you think!

A contest entry

READ AND REVIEW!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • Surreal Rhapsody
    November 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    pth, ryming, whatever, rytheming has nothing to do with poetry. Poetry is expressing yuor feelings through words written in a convoluted way. It dosen't have to have any dog-bog, or cat-sat. Awesome poemm though, I love how obvious u made your username to be. Theres no way this contest will stay annomonys klike that! ^.^ well I did love your poem. Espicially this part:
    That a journey has two paths
    Think negative; go negative
    Think positive; go positive
    Good luck on the contest!


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    October 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Rhyme is simply a tool used to make a poem sound smooth. You did not need it for this one, it was amazing how it is. I like the metaphore in this expeshally this part.

    My crew will not rebel
    I will have a good night’s sleep

    This is good, really good.


  • Merry Christmas
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is a beautiful poem, unfortunately this is a contest for stories not poems and so I'll have to remove this

    But it's a great poem whether it's what I'm looking for or not