Much to Real Dream

Living a dream is never fun, especially when that dream is a nightmare. 1

Some don’t know how great they have it, how fortunate they truly are for 2

just living a normal life, not one brought in by shadows and despair. 3

Then again I am very fortunate. I have food to eat. I have clothes to wear, but I can’t help but feel my life is nothing but a dream, a horrible never-ending nightmare.4

My body, trained into calmness, is tucked into my own feedle position, knees tucked close to my chest as it heaves in and out. My eyes blank of all emotions, lies locked inside as if they were old chests with hidden secrets of a life once lived. I do not lie when I say there is no fear inside my heart. Resting gently in my soft fingertips is my soul favorite possession, my Tinkerbelle snow globe. The colors never faded, and neither did she. She just kept on dancing in a universe of pixie dust and snow. 5

Shouts of curses flew up from the floor below. Hatred burned the whole house like an unstoppable fire. No matter how I tried to block out of screams, they still came back to haunt me through blocked ears. I didn’t cry anymore when I heard them fight. I just curled up and drifted as far as I could. It didn’t hurt anymore either. Well not until later at least. I lift my head from my knees to shake my snow globe as the slams of fists and doors echo throughout the house. There is no safe haven for me. There is no snow covered place where I can dance along with my Tinkerbelle. There is no inaudible music to push out the loudness of haters’ words. There is just simply nothing, nothing to give hope, faith or love. I am just left with the sound of a car zooming down the driveway, leaving this horrid house behind, like I wish I could, but alas I can’t so I am left here with a much to real dream, which slowly is becoming a nightmare as the stairwell creaks with a newfound weight…6

How I wish to escape to a land of pixie dust and snow.7