Knights of Honera Prelude

The sun was high in the sky on this clear summer day, and the heat was beating down on the bloodstained field of grass. The grass swayed in the warm wind, and the vultures soared in large circles high above the field of dead bodies. The field was surrounded by thick, dark forests on all sides. The snowcapped peaks of some distant mountains could be seen on the northern horizon, and to the south lay the ocean. The foul smell of newly rotting corpses filled the air, and blew towards the southlands. On the north side of the plain stood the army of Honera, and to the south, the army of Barbera. After two days of ruthless fighting, they were readying themselves for yet another battle, and they all hoped that this one would prove victorious for their Kingdom.1

Shouts filled the air as soldiers shouted commands and lined up on both sides of the plain. On the north side, catapults were loaded with flaming balls of pitch, and archers readied their arrows. The Knights lined up in the front of the army, and were seated upon strong and powerful steeds. They were shod in steel armor, and wielded heavy long-swords. Their horses wore the colors of their Kingdom, and restlessly reared up and down and attempted to spring forward as the men held them back by their reigns. Behind the Knights stood the footmen, followed by the archers, and then finally the catapults. Across the plain stood the army of Barberia. The soldiers of Barberia yelled curses to the other army as they ran about and prepared for battle. This army was was not one of order, but rather of chaos and confusion. They did not fight for their Kingdom, but rather in hopes of conquering their foes and taking the spoils for their personal gain. Because of their selfishness and lack of unity, they did not fight together, but rather every man chose his own position, and only looked after himself. They did not heed their commanders who shouted orders angrily at the footmen and archers, but rather ran about trying to position themselves in the location that was most likely to succeed. Gazing across the field they laughed and mocked the soldiers of Honera who stood in obedience and lined up as they were told. Little did they know that their folly and disorder would be their doom.2

Javan rode back and forth in front of the army of Honera mounted on his horse Valiant, as he surveyed the army to make sure that everything was in it's proper place. Javan wore the typical armor for a Honerian Knight, however he also wore a steel breastplate that was trimmed with gold, and wielded a warhammer. He was tremendously broad in the shoulders, and had a very think beard of black hair. His arms were massive, and he was the perfect example of strength and power. His men admired and feared him, and there was not another man on the face of the earth that they would rather have on their side in a battle than Javan. After scanning the lines one last time, he gave the men a quick speech as he always did before leading them into battle.3

"This day we fight for Love! The love for our families, the love for our homeland, and the love for our departed King. These Barberians believe that just because we have lost our King we have now become a weak nation. I tell you this my brothers; the Strength and Courage of our nation resides not within the ability of one man, but rather in the hearts of many! Prove this day your love for all those you cherish! Prove this day the Strength, Courage, and Bravery of your hearts! Honor in life; Glory in death!"4

When his speech was finished the men all cheered and raised their weapons in the air until Javan gave the order to prepare for the advance. Turning to face the army of Barberia, Javan raised his heavy warhammer above his head and shouted the order to advance.5

On seeing the army of Honera commence their charge, the army of Barberia roared loudly as they too sprang forward to battle. The Honerian archers released a flurry of arrows that soared silently through the sky and met with rage the advancing soldiers of Barberia. The speed of the arrows sent them flying straight through the Barbarian's bodies and spraying blood from there backs as the arrows protruded through their skin. Soldiers fell all over the field, and the blood from their wounds splattered onto the other soldiers who continued to advance. The catapults were also releasing their balls of fire, that exploded on impact and sent body parts and blood in all directions. The soldiers that were not dead yet, were covered in the blood and filth of their dead comrades, and were trampling over their bodies as they continued their mad charge towards the Honerian army.6

Meeting their advance was the Knights of Honera. Javan was at the head of the charge, riding his horse at full speed and clutching his warhammer in his right hand. Once he got near the Barberian army, he took the reigns that he was holding in his left hand and wrapped them around the horn of the saddle, before releasing them and clutching the hilt of his warhammer with both hands. With powerful motions he began swinging the warhammer from side to side, first on the right side of his mount, then bringing it over his head and swinging it on the left side of his horse. As soon as he got the warhammer swinging at full speed, he met the first footmen of the Barbera army. His armored steed trampled over them at full gallop while he crushed their faces and skulls in with his hammer. Swinging it from side to side he smashed it into soldier after soldier and roared as the blood and hair flew through the air. Behind him the other Knights rode at full speed as well swinging their swords from side to side incapacitating footman after footman. Every Barberian that escaped the wrath of his warhammer was only then slaughtered by the swords of the other Knights who followed him. The Barberians fell by the hundreds as the Knights rode over them at full speed swinging the weapons with power and precision.7

Javan's arms were beginning to tire, but he showed no sign of slowing down. He was driven by the anger and madness that one achieves when fighting in battle, and was fueled a little more with each head or chest that he crushed in with his warhammer. The Barberian footmen that were in the rear and had watched what had become of their comrades, began to slow their assault and turn to run. The cries of war turned into screams of fear as they ran from the charging Knights.8

The Knights continued riding at full speed as they dealt fatal blows to the retreating soldiers. Behind the Barberian footmen were the pikemen, and they stood their ground as the footmen retreated through their ranks. After letting the footmen through, they closed the gap in their lines, and readied themselves for the Knights. Taking a knee they all held a shield in their left hand, and a long spear in their right. The back of the spear was jammed into the ground, and then ran under their right shoulder and was held steady by their right hand. The points of their spears stuck several feet out in front of them, and at an upward angle. The Honerians showed no sign of slowing their charge, and the closer they got, the more fear the pikemen felt. Javan, seeing the pikemen, knew that he should slow his charge to keep from being thrown from his mount, but the sheer triumph he had achieved so far blinded his senses of reality, and he had the confidence that he could charge right through the enemies' ranks. Kicking his heels into the side of his mount he yelled for it to advance faster, and began swinging his hammer once again. This time he swung it only on his right side, and with his left hand he removed a shortsword from its sheath on the side of his mount. He now casually swung both weapons and concentrated on the soldiers ahead. The closer he came the more he began to reconsider his method of assault, and at the last moment he realized how foolish he was. He attempted to grab the reigns and slow his mount, but it was to late.9

His horse collided with the pikemen, and their spears plunged straight through the horse's chest. With his mount coming to an abrupt stop, he could not remain on it's back. He flew headfirst over the horse's shoulders, and over the first row of pikemen, landing on his back in the dirt. He lay there for a moment with his eyes closed, stunned and dizzy as he cursed himself for his foolishness. Opening his eyes, he saw the point of a spear being thrust towards him, and he parried it instantly with his shortsword. Knocking it out the way he swung his warhammer at the soldiers legs and it collided with the man's left knee. The sound of crushing bones could be heard as the hammer smashed into the man's leg, folding it over as the man screamed in pain and fell to the ground. As soon as he hit the ground, Javan rolled over and jabbed the point of his sword through the man's chest. Panting from the exertion of strength he rolled back on his back only to parry another spear away from him. All around him the pikemen were attacking him trying to kill the Honerian hero. After parrying several more blows he managed to get himself onto his feet, and began swinging his warhammer around him in all directions. Smashing the pikemen's iron armor into their bodies, and colliding with their heads, he sent blood, hair, and pieces of their skull flying through the air. All around him bodies fell limp as he took the last bit of life away from them. He parried the spears with his sword as they jabbed at him, and then attacked the men with his warhammer. He was covered with blood, sweat, and dirt, and he knew that this battle was only beginning.

Author notes

Next Chapter: http://storywrite.com/story/293008

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 43 of 43

  • Poopa Thug
    November 9
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    Cool

    This was pretty cool. I wish the barbaria side had some more warheros though given their beliefs its bound that some supreme singular warriors would be exceptionally skilled. Also as chaotic as the other side was it seems hard that pikeman would cause much damage. Anyway I might give the other chapters a read after seeing this.


  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    October 7

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    This was really interesting. I really enjoyed reading this. Anyways. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest. Keep up the good work


  • lesbian-in-love
    October 4

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    This was really good and enjoyable to read. Thaks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.


  • Willowleaf-
    October 3

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    Great!

    It kept me reading the whole time. I don't really get the concepts of battle, but your story gave me an idea, which was good. I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors so great job. Also your fluency was wonderful.

    Good luck in my contest!

    • ZackTruel
      October 4
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      Well thanks a lot! I am very glad that you liked it and that it was written well enough for you to visualize. That was my goal.


  • Awais Ahmad
    September 7

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    Really hooking, Really describtive, and totally awesome. In the finalists. Good luck with the gold trophie though.


  • sberendt gold member
    September 2

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    Nice, nice! Battle are a popular theme in historical fictions dealing with the middle ages, and you did it well! I too, itched to see who would win, but I like how you ended this part of your (I assume) novel. The description was nice and everything was very well written. No SPaG errors that I could see!

    Thanks for entering my contest!

    ~sberendt


  • tsh369 gold member
    September 2

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    This looks to be a good start to one hefty novel. I can see why you are proud of it.
    Thank you for entering my contest, and Good Luck!!!

    Th.


  • AntarticFox
    August 26

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    Great work here, And horay for the battle. Nothing like some blood to smooth things out. Many thanks for a great read ~A Fox


  • AthenazeBeauty
    August 19

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    Awesome! During the beginning-middle part, it had me itching to see who won. But sense you left it off.... I'll just have to come back and read more later .... Good luck.


  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    August 18

    Edit | Reply

    Wow.

    Amazing! I really got this a WHOLE lot! I understand that this is about war and death. WELCOME TO TE FINALISTS LIST!!!
    ~Duality.

    • ZackTruel
      August 18
      Edit | Reply
      Awesome! Thanks for the comment and for the Finalist list. I haven't gotten a trophy in a while, so I am crossing my fingers.

      I am glad yu liked the story. Many think it is too gory, but the fact is, war is gory, and if you are going to write a realistic war story like I attempted to do, then it will be gory.


  • Elms Apprehended
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    It was little too gory for my taste, but other than that it kept my attention the entire time. Also, the long paragraphs were a little distracting. Try fixing the spacing.
    Thanks for entering and good luck!

    • ZackTruel
      August 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment. I broke the paragraphs up some more.


  • Hloverofpeace
    August 12
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    This is very well written, but i do think you should fix the line spacing and make the paragraphs shorter and with more space between them. to me, since they were so close and all together, it made the story not as enjoyable as it should have been because it made it seem as if it were going on forever. but besides that, this is really great.

    thanks for entering.


  • DanceTheNightAway
    July 19
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written. I enjoyed this story. Great job.


  • Scarlet Akira
    July 15
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    Goood job.


  • hsmlover1
    July 9

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    Judges comment

    Good but very long it was well written and the discription was highly achieved. Well done and god luck in my contest

    Hsmlover


  • Jennywinnie
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    I loved your description, but I would be very careful about starting the story out with such a large chunk of description.

    I might start the story in the action, like where Jevan is surveying the army on horseback, and then you can describe the setting by looking at through his eyes. That will help speed things up.

    Breka up those paragraphs. Make sure that each new thought idea chain is a new paragraph. Again remember that we live in a world of fast food and video games, people just won't sit through that much description no matter how good it is.

    You can cut it back by adding more dialogue to chop this up, and by butting the description up into smaller chunks. It's easier on the eyes that way, and people don't say, Oh crap that's alot of words.

    Ok, there's some good action in here, but still section off the action, and add dialogue and if you can't do that split it up with inner monologue like italisized quotes.

    great descriptive voice. I can understand your plight, I can get wordy too.

    Great job

    • ZackTruel
      August 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the in-depth comment! I am glad you liked it, and I appreciate your suggestions. I broke the paragraphs up some more.

  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    That last paragraph... WOWZER! Good job! Okay, VERY long, for me. XD, shame on myself for telling it was long! It was PERFECT! I enjoyed it VERY much!


  • andhearts. ox
    June 21

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    I liked it but I do agree with Spiders Kiss. I am not really the type who likes sword fighting either. Sorry.


  • Dead Beauty
    June 13

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    Judge's comment

    Certainly quite gory and slightly entertaining, but it sort of lost my interest because I am not the sort who likes to read that of fighting with swords, but more or less something with a bit of the feminine touch to it (but not too much). However, I did enjoy the first paragraph as I do love description (it gives me more of an idea of what the writer thinks of the setting as) but the last paragraph was a little long. Thanks for entering, good luck!

  • SilentMoonDance
    June 8

    Edit | Reply

    Intense...

    But entertaining in a way. The feeling of the story made me think of the medival ages, and it was cool, though I'm usually not an action/gore type of reader. Still, great.
    Nice job and good luck!

    • ZackTruel
      June 9
      Edit | Reply
      Well thank you very much! I am glad that you liked it. I usually do not put a lot of gore into my writings, but I decided to try something new with this one. I was happy with the turn-out.

      Thanks again for the comment.

  • felanor
    June 7

    Edit | Reply

    Great Read, but Too Long

    Your story was a great read. I loved the imagery of battle and would like to see the rest of the story. Thank you for entering.

    Unfortunately, there is a word limit of 1200. By my count (using MS Word), you had 1747. Had the number been much closer to my 1200, I would've counted them, but unfortunately, you will not be winning my contest with this piece. If you like, I can pull it out and allow you to enter a different piece.

    • ZackTruel
      June 7
      Edit | Reply
      Oh, I am sorry about that. I don't have may stories under 1200 words, but I will enter the one that I do have. I am not sure if you will like it or not but it meets the requirements.

      Thanks for letting me enter another story.


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Gory

    p1 (Kingdoms)

    p2 (Kingdoms) (reins)

    p6 (reins) full speed as well(,) swinging - side to side(,) incapacitating

    p7 pieces of their (skulls)

    This is filled with violence, but the Knights of Honera don't seem to achieve a victory in the end. It seems that this should be a part of a much longer and involved story. You know a lot about this type of warfare.

    Thanks for entering Exceptional Stories To Be Published

    Andy

    • ZackTruel
      October 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well the reason this story didn't seem to have a conclusion is because it was more of an exerpt of a larger story that was never written. I wrote this short story, but never wrote the rest of the bigger story. Anyways, I see how it wouldn't work goo din the book since it isn't a full story.

      Also, I didn't understand what the different "p1, p2, ect.." things meant?


      • Miss Hanako Cullen
        October 26, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I think he means the Paragraphs, P1, P2 and so on... that way he didn't have to say "Paragraph 1" every time..

        Anyway, that's not why I'm here.. you have yet to remove your story, you have two days to remove and re-enter. No pic was sent so this story has nothing to refer to. When I send you your picture you can enter a story that fits.

        If two more days passes and the story is still here, I'll have to remove it. I'm sorry but it's not fair to the other entrants.

        Thanks,
        Hanako

  • Miss Hanako Cullen
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Heya,

    You're supposed to reserve a spot and then I'll send you your pic. So, please remove your story and reserve a place. : )

    Thanks!

    P.S
    I left the pre-written there just in case someone had something that fit the picture I sent them, one in a million, but you never know. : )


  • WritersEffigy gold member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That last paragraph could be broken up a bit, but otherwise an excellent story with good visuals.
    Thanks for entering!


  • Thorn-on-the-Rose
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Okay, so, your story excends my word limit of 1000 by 600 words, so I'm sorry, but you won't be winning, nothing personal, but I have to stick by my rules, otherwise it was be unfair.

    -Dani

    • ZackTruel
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah sorry about that. As soon as I submitted it I realized that, but there was no way for me to take it back out the contest that I knew of.

  • ZackTruel
    September 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    7. Yes, seven goes here. Put the words 'Irish Ducttape' in a comment on your story. (No I don't mean in the author notes, I mean in a comment)


  • ChristineDaae
    November 30, 2007
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    That had so much detail I was in the story. I loved it dear


  • Lady-Jane
    November 19, 2007

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    Wow. That was just fantastic.... You described the battle with such detail and Javan with such personality for only seeing through his eyes for a short time. Not to mention i love that name now! Ha ha. I really enjoyed the speech he gave.
    "I tell you this my brothers; the Strength and Courage of our nation resides not within the ability of one man, but rather in the hearts of many! Prove this day your love for all those you cherish!"
    This somehow reminds me of Lord of the Rings, which i adore. This was great and I would really love to read more if there ever is. Great Job and Good luck!

    • ZackTruel
      November 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Wow thank you very much for the great comment! I am so glad that you liked it, and I hope others like it as much as you did. I too am a huge fan of The Lord of the Rings. It took me a little while to write that speech, but I think it was worth the time I put into it.


  • Forsaken Unicorn
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    I'm still down at the fact it's a prewrite, but I'm impressed with the detail. If you had this when you wrote it, I would have loved to see what you have now! Good luck!

    • ZackTruel
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Well I am very glad that you liked it! I was happy with how it turned out, and most other people enjoy it as well. Thanks for the compliment!

  • ZackTruel
    October 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Please comment.

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