Can you see them?1
Can you see them?2
(No.)3
They are there.4
(I question.)5
Can your mortal eyes comprehend, compare?6
(What, mortal?)7
Can you feel the fall of their feet, the scrape of their talons, killers?8
(I am not awake.)9
Can you smell them, rank, damp, enticing?10
(It entices.)11
Can you hear their breathing, the quickening, the shallow light of death?12
(I breathe.)13
Do you fear?14
(I fear not.)15
You will.16
You do.17
(Are they there?)18
Your imagination19
should not question20
my insistence.21
They are there.22
They see you.23
(I know.)24
Author notes
Taylor you are an eternal crackhead. Love you, girl!
Taylor, I feel like we should be friends; your sense of humor reminds myself of my own. Gah, 'crackhead' has the red squiggly lines under it. That's gonna drive me CRAZY!!
Speaking of crazy, this poem is one of my various interpretations of the previously mentioned. Ah, paranoia, it entertains us all.
Annnnyway....
here was my thought process while writing this:
you/me -> insane -> oh! she said i can write about my feelings toward anything! -> this poem.
okay, that explanation was longer than the poem itself. i'm done.
If my hearts broken, how can i feel?
A contest entry
- To Write A Poem Is To Give Your Heart A Voice by Taylor Renee.
450 points, ended October 30, 2007, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - For The unknown by Incroyable.
323 points, ended December 12, 2007, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Dragons! And other crazy options! by Friesian.
250 points, ended November 17, 2007, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Insane yet? by Ninja Bubble.
100 points, ended January 7, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Critique,please, thanks a bunch!
Comments
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I really enjoyed this, i like the parenthesies idea tho, gives an inside look to guys minds. Nice work!
-Keep It Goin'~Z -
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Thanks so much!
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COOL!
So cool! I,too, love the structure of this poem! Very oddly written-in a great way! Awesome job! Adored it alot!
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I LIKE THIS!
It was so WEIRD!
Hah.
IN A GOOD WAY!
Seriously. This was so neat, the structiure. And the meaning was awesome.
You did great.
I want to be your friend! lol!
I'm Taylor! Nice to meet you! Sort of! lol!!!
Thank you SO much for entering, and good luck!!!
xoxo
Tay
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