(He'd watched Cahill effortlessly cripple more than one fellow. Cahill had a right to ask a favor. He'd more than earned his pay. McCarthy, that quisling, had been ready to sell them out. Peace--peace shit, peace wasn't victory.) This thought was in the mind of Ryan Mason at the end of chapter one.
Chapter Three
Ryan Mason could belly up to the bar in any Derry pub or slip into a seat unnoticed in the Londonderry men's club. Within the city with two names, he moved in two distinct societies.
A simple change of dress and shift in accent made him undistinguishable from any others present. Mason wasn't homely he was just so ordinary. His black hair was a trifle dusky and his blue eyes were just blue. The hundred sixty–some pounds he carried on a five ten frame made him slim but not noticeably skinny.
To prevent exposure by a slip up, he had decided to take on this unpleasant business personally.
He'd entered the pub only seconds behind the man and two women. They headed for a table while he strolled up to the end of the bar; close but not too close to their table. He listened, and watched from beneath downcast eyes. For nearly a month, he'd been shadowing one of the women in his spare time.
That woman was attractive, like a porcelain doll is attractive, fragile and cold. "But sure now, Bridget, you and your good man, seein' me all the way here, standing you to a pint is only right." She wiggled in her chair and tossed long black locks that picked up glitters of sliver from the overhead lights.
"The ride was little enough, Leona," the other woman said. If she was upset by the way her good man leered at their companion Bridget didn't show it.
"Can you believe the nerve of the bloke, bringing me all the way to Derry, just to show me a letter?" Leona turned towards the bar and held up three fingers. "Pints," she said. "Here, Dan'el's been gone these nine years and never so much as a word. Him sittin' there in his big house in his big city, never sparing a quid for me or the lad.
"I tell ya, that letter was a shocker." She paused to smile at the delivery of her order, then carefully extracted the payment from her purse as if trying to prevent the others from seeing how much was in there.
Bridget's husband had left forty behind several years ago. It showed in the grayness of his hair, the sagging of his jowls, and the spread of his hips. He patted the arm on the table beside him as if to console the upset woman. "Didn't know about the boy?"
"So he claimed." She sneered as if it was a lie. "That solicitor showed me his letter." She corrected. "Mathew didn't know his brother had a son. Still, the bastard knew about me. Didn't give one thought ta me. What became of Leona Ahern didn't once concern him. Now he wants ta visit Gareee, mind yah, not me, just the lad he mentions."
"Oh, now, Leona." The boxy built Bridget had stopped sucking up her beer and was eyeing the near empty glass like it might magically refill. "It was just an oversight. Mathew was some bit older than his brothers. Been a good number of years since he went way. Could be he didn't know who Dan married."
"He knew all right, he did. When times was tough, Dan'el wrote to him for money. Few times he sent a lousy few pounds." Leona’s own pint was vanishing and since apparently her companions weren't going to offer, she again motioned to the bartender. "Wants to meet his brother's son, he says, like Dan'el had any part in raising the lad. Sure, but it's been me alone who worked her fingers ta the knuckles for that boy."
At the bar, Ryan Mason stifled a snicker as he thought; picking up a chit was hard work. Imprisoning their men, the Government was forced to support the women and children. A stupid system. He continued to watch and listen, convinced now that the task he set for himself wasn't going to be as difficult as he originally thought.
Leona Ahern was still providing the funds for the beer that the grateful couple kept telling her, she was far too generous for, but never once refused. They were up to their sixth pint when Mason left the bar completely unnoticed.
Midnight, in the town of Strabane, fourteen miles from the city of Londonderry, had come and gone. Leona Ahern staggered up to her ground level flat. She was sober enough so she cursed her own stupidity in wasting so much of the cash McNeil the solicitor had given her. "Your brother-in-law sent this as a token gift to help with the lad's needs. Now that he is aware of Garth, Mr. Ahern is coming here to see to his nephew's future." He could come and sure she'd take his money. The letter hadn't mentioned a wife. Just maybe? Sure, why not. She giggled. Didn't she draw more than her share of lustful glances? With this extra cash, she could buy herself some new duds. She'd fix herself up fine for Mr. Mathew Ahern. Damn, but that Bridget and her fuckin' husband just kept swilling the booze she bought, never once offering to buy her a pint. Like she owed them for the frigin' short ride ta Derry. McNeil had sent her more'n enough to pay for a taxi and she'd flitted it away buying them pints. Then she'd put up with the fat bloke's groping her, while his dowdy wife snoozed in the rear seat, just ta save a few pounds.
She fumbled with the key. She hadn't given one stray concern for the small boy she'd locked in nearly ten hours earlier. She still didn't.
Her mind befuddled with drink she was oblivious to the figure stepping up behind her. When the hands closed on her throat she gasped. Shock turned quickly to disbelief and then terror as she struggled for air. Her fingers pulled and her nails scratched at the gloved hands. Her mouth gaped in soundless pleas. Her chest was on fire; she kicked at empty air as her feet left the ground.
In a list
[Reward: double points]
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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as a McCarthy its always nice to see relations in storys :-)
the dialouge is very good realistic to the point of a clear picture of whats being said.
keep them coming.. Rewarded 4
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(McCarthy its always nice to see relations in storys :-)) and in politics too, I bet
. Thanks for reading and the nice comments.
If you enjoyed this chapter, there are twenty more posted on this site love to have you keep reading.
Geri
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Poor Leona. She spent her last night flitting away her dosh on her lapdog companions, and then to end like this! I'll have to read the next chapter to see if she did die. (don't want to kill her off too quick). A very interesting chapter with a great deal of conversation to keep in mind for later reference. I see Ryan is going to be a hard man to deal with here. I am enjoying immensely this book. since i couldn't find any numbers to relate to, i had to pick this out for you to correct. The third last paragraph which is quite long. Put astericks before this as you have taken Leona to another scene. Apart from this, i wasn't looking on correcting anything, as the Irish have a certain way of talking and unless it is extremely obvious, i am not even going to attempt it. Well done.
. Rewarded 8
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WOW!
You are Good!!! I stand in awe at your skill to touch the mind. -
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Well, thank you for reading.
Geri
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Just as the other two, this story is superbly written. Though I do have to admit it felt like it took sometime to really fall into place. Almost as if you were struggling to find your rhythm in the beginning but quickly you caught on and wrote some great schtuff. The mysteries keep building!! Will read the next for certain.
. Rewarded 6
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I'm glad it has started to 'gel' for you. I will give the beginning another look, thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Geri
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You switched points of view a few times in this chapter without warning and that sometimes can be a bit confusing for the reader. I would have like to have read more from Mason's POV here, but it was interesting to hear Leona's thoughts as well.
Another really good chapter. You could post the rape scene and label this as Adult and that would exclude the underage children.
Nice work!
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks for the advise. I'll think about it--smile.
Got to get back to work now.
Geri
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i dunno, i just plainly love this story.
Its getting better and the ending was great, i think i left a smudge on the screen where my nose touched...Oops ;D
I AM OFFICIALLY WAITING FOR NUMBER 4
. Rewarded 4
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Yikes! I can give you a glimpse into chapter four at the top of chapter five. (That's already posted.) Since a number of younsters call me 'Ma' I just couldn't bring myself to post this brutal Rape-murder, on a site with so many underage members.
I believe there is enough explanation in five to keep the plot moving.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm so glad you enjoyed it so far.
Geri
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"I tell ya, that letter was a shocker."
since you followed this with mode of speech, you should of had a comma instead of a period.
I also noticed you used had a little too much. The sentences would be fine without them, and project the same meaning, it would just flow a little easier.
great way to end the chapter, very suspensful.
With a few minor ajustment, this can be a great peice of work, keep it up
. Rewarded 8
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Why, I missed another one--sigh.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. You made a good suggestion.
Am so glad you are enjoying the story.
Geri
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good
Like this charter of your story, have to go back and read charter 1 and 2. Leave out the had. -
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Thanks for the comments. Sorry I'm a little late but 'My World' can get hectic at times.
Geri
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Watch using "had" unnecessarily. It tends to make sentences stronger without it.
For example...
he had decided to take on
sounds stronger without it.
leered at their companion Bridget didn't show it.
needs a comma after companion...
"I tell ya, that letter was a shocker."
when followed by mode of speech, dialogue needs to be followed by a comma. If it is followed by action or description then a fullstop would be used.
The story is continuing well. Keep up the great work. Most of the problems are structural and are easily fixed with a bit of editing. I look forward to reading more.. Rewarded 8
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Thanks for the great crit. I'm going to have to start doing a 'Had' search before I post.
Geri
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Previously read and commented
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Good read
Provided detail on unanswered questions of prior pages.
Now the reader has a better understanding of what led up to Garth going to America.
Very well written.
. Rewarded 4
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