Flighty menacing display
Revealing lazily at first
Patience for
The eye to perform
The vulgarian within
This firing, booming whirlwind
Is hazardous and rash
While still precisely creating
Rare sights
Bemusing the consciousness as
Strong while stunning
Mysterious colours flourish
Sheeting merciful liquid
Craved from the core
Permeates and rations
Sometimes oppressively
Continually raising
Trying thoroughly to replenish
Respecting the mother earth
Shivering, locked therein
Waiting for
..
The Storm
To Pass
A contest entry
- The Great Feast Of Options by Ayesha Raees.
220 points, ended October 19, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry(I'll add more points soon) by Myeisha.
185 points, ended December 8, 2007, 35 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Flighty menacing display
Revealing lazily at first
Patience for
The eye to perform
The stanza just looks broken to me. I think you should put the last two lines on the same line. you actually did this with some other stanza's too but that ok. This has great flow and I really did'nt notice any more mistakes. Good job and thanx for entering.
Keep on writing!!!
-
Craved from the core .... thats a new one ... I love it awwww craved from the core... sounds like me except I would use my wone perspective ...
I found this to be thoughly enjoyable
simple yet wonderfully expessed
using words I dont know but want to
You have a way with words that makes me feel locked inside your world... inaide your head
its a pleasant feeling ... that of sheer admiration
love blair xoxo
-
hhahaha lol!
i thought that it was some murder scene when i was reading it! lol
and then the last stanza made me giggle at my own stupidness when it was only a storm!
it is true, as you have descirbed, that the storm is totally like that.!
though i am not afriad of storms, i can sense them!
its good!
keep it up!
good luck in my contest!
-
-
thats ok, it is a mysteriously worded poem, lol. Thank you for your kind words and wishes
-
-
Wow, this is really deep and really enjoyable, keep it up
-
-
Thank Jd
Too Kind
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
