once more

"jimmy come down here right this instance"1

"coming mom" jimmy says in an exasperated voice as he runs down the stairs, he was so damn fed up with his mother that someday he sweared that he would just leave the house and never come back.  He was only 19 and working his way through college, he had no way of supporting himself and thats why his mother let him stay in the house instead of kicking him out.  he reaches the bottom.2

"yeah mom"he says in the same tone.3

"your brother wont be here for christmas so I need you to move all the stuff from the garage into his room so that I can have room in the garage to make some pottery"4

"but you dont even make pottery, whats the fucking point mom" 5

"you know what, just go away.  Just dont do the job and go away okay.  I'm tired of this damn attitude that you put on like you own this house and that nobody else matters.  Is that really how you feel jimmy? that I dont matter at all anymore?  what happened to sweet little jimmy who went to the zoo and played with his mother?"6

"mom IM not fucking five anymore so just ... just leave me alone ok, Im going to my room."7

as jimmmy climbed the stairs he could hear his mother crying, you know that was just like her to cry, that was all she fucking did.  cry, cry, cry ,cry.  god if the woman cried anymore I would swear she was a fountain.  Oh god I hate her so fucking much I cant stand her, why is she the way she is?  Why wont she change for me, am I not important enough to her that she cant just try not to piss me off.8

Jimmy cant hold in all the anger that he has and he starts to punch the wall of his room. a bruised knuckle, what a shame but it wasn't enough so he punched it again and again and again until his knucles were bleeding and stinging with pain.  but he didn't mind the pain.  He just stumbled over to his bed and turned on the radio.9

"we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year." the scratchy radio plays out.10

Jimmy changes the station11

"jingle bells ,jingle bells, jingle all the way"12

and again he changes it, he didn't like christmas anyways so why should he have to listen to fucking christmas music.13

"deck the halls with bows of holly"14

before they can finish the next line he jumps up with a look of rage on his face, grabs the damn radio and smashes it against the wall.15

his mom had probably rigged his radio to get him to have more christmas spirit, so that when company came over he wouldn't be the talk of the party of how he was really grumpy.  And that was all she cared about, her friends, her house, her job.  But ever her son, no never her fucking son.16

Well I guess we are even I dont give a rats ass about her but thats mostly because she never paid any attention to me in the first place except as a small slave boy for the doing of menial tasks.17

Well this had to end, she will not take advantage of me any longer.18

Jimmy grabs a baseball bat from his closet and opens his door quickly and hard and it slams open hitting his mother's favorite vase.  His mother would probably if he didn't do something freak out and start screaming at him even though it was an accident.  And thats the funny thing whenever anyone reads this story they think, he had no reason to hate his mother.  Its just like all the fucking audience to agree with the storyteller.  Well you know what I have reasons more than anyone will ever know to hate my mother but lets avoid the details.19

Jimmy walks down the stairs slowly hitting the bat against his palm and then lifting it up and repeating the first step.  He finds that his mom is sitting in the kitchen drinking a margarita and reading a issue of Oprah magazine entitled "what to do with an out of control kid".  And that was the final straw, she had planted her last flower, drank her last drink, read her last magazine this was it.  20

She turned her head and glared at him21

"did you do what I told you jimmy?"22

"no"23

"well why not, I cant have you lazing around or nothing will be done"24

"Im not gonna do anymore of your stupid damn chores that you could do yourself, go move your own furniture"25

she stands up and walks over to him with her hands on her hips26

"and why not??"27

she says as her nostrils flare28

"cause you can do it yourself, lazy asshole"29

she slaps him across the face and then sees the baseball bat30

"why do you have that out, trying out for little league, is the little brat gonna hit a homerun"31

she turned to walk away32

there it was, the perfect moment to strike.  She was so deserving of a punishment so great that even the gods themselves couldn't give it to her but his would have to do so right when she turned he raised up his metal baseball bat and smashed it down on her head.  He was suprised to find out he felt no remorse for what he had done, so he was already a free man.  But the quiet, there was no noise no sounds, no screaming mother, no moving of equipment, no radio, no tv.  and all of the sudden he snapped, he needed noise. He took the baseball bat and hit his own kneecaps.  when on the floor he bit open the veins in his hand.33

He needed noise even if it was the sound of his own blood curtiling screams.  And even when the paramedics arrived his mouth was still open as if to scream at the heavens.34