“Remind me why we are doing this?” Christie asked impatiently. “The money, girl, the money!” Rachel replied just as impatiently. “Yeah, well, somehow I don’t remember agreeing to this,” Christie sniped. “Your right, you didn’t, I did, so live with it or leave,” Rachel growled back. Silently they crept to the line of trees behind the house. Rachel tensed when she saw the lights flicker in the house, and she could feel Christie breathing on her neck. “Get a grip,” she hissed, masking her fear. Rachel began wondering why she had agreed to this stupid deal. Its not like she really needed the cash, she just wanted the rush, the welcome feeling of adrenaline rushing through her veins. Christie, on the other hand, was trying to slow her racing heart; she had only accompanied her friend because she trusted Rachel beyond anyone else. “Haunted, what kind of cock and bull explanation was that?” Rachel muttered. “Well, what did u expect? A party?” Christie replied sarcastically. “Ha ha ha. I was just commenting on the poor job they did on describing this house. It’s perfectly normal and inhabitable, I was anticipating an actually….what’s the word…scare?” Rachel retorted. Suddenly, they heard the door rattle. It looked as though it would fall off the hinges, then it stopped. Rachel snorted. “Do they really believe we’re that stupid?” Christie shrugged with disgust. They crept across the yard to the back door. Christie grabbed the door handle and turned it. “Locked,” she muttered. “Well, what did you expect? The house to open the door and welcome us with open arms?” Rachel sneered. She pulled out a bobbing pin and moved to open the door. The door swung open of its own accord and both Rachel and Christie shied away. Scolding herself, Rachel pushed the door open farther and walked in. The inside of the house was perfectly intact, sans cobwebs or dust. “Obviously, they guys didn’t put much effort into making it seem like a real haunted house,” Christie commented. Rachel nodded in reply and strode further into the room. Christie still waited by the door. Rachel shook her head in disgust and disappointment, seeming ready to leave, until she turned around. Her face went white, the quickly flushed with excitement. “Christie! Christie! That is pretty cool!” Christie scrambled inside and followed Rachel’s gaze. On the left side of the door was what looked like bloody arm prints. Christie shivered but Rachel was excited now. “I was wrong! They really did try! That is soooo cool!” she gushed. Grabbing Christie’s arm, she moved into the next room. Breathless with anticipation, Rachel flung open the door and looked around. To her disappointment and Christie’s relief, there was nothing. Or was there? The door of the next room flew open and three figures rushed in, and the room plunged into an even deeper darkness. Christie screamed and Rachel fell into fighting stance. One of the figures saw them and also started screaming too. Another of them rushed Rachel and she avoided the things oncoming punch. She pushed him and smacked him hard across the face. The thing stumbled back and she took the chance to try and move Christie out of the room. Christie wouldn’t budge though. In fact, she started laughing, along with two other figures. Rachel relaxed and groped the wall for a light switch. Finding one, she turned it on and looked at her attacker. Laughing, she realized it was Jayson, a guy from her school, and one of her friends. The other two figures were Bryan and Alex, two more of her friends. Soon, they were all laughing together and then Bryan asked, “So what are you guys doing here?” “We made a deal that we would come in this house for $40 each, how about you guys?” “Same deal,” Alex said. “That’s, well, weird. How come you guys never mentioned it?” Jayson asked. “I dunno what about you? How come you never asked?” Christie shot back. “Um, I dunno,” Jayson replied. Rachel snorted and he balled his hands into fists threateningly. “Ooooo, I’m scared now!” She sneered. Jayson looked confused then shrugged. Bryan rolled his eyes at Christie and Rachel, and Alex asked, “What?” Bryan, Christie and Rachel all burst into laughter, and were soon followed by Alex and Jayson, though they had no idea why they were laughing. Just as Jayson opened his mouth to speak, they heard the sound of the light switch going off and whirled around, but they couldn’t see anything in the darkness. Alex grabbed Bryan’s hand and Christie shrank back. Jayson and Rachel tensed, and were prepared to fight off whatever came in the room. They heard the sound of footsteps, growing more distant and then much louder. As the footsteps came closer, the pace quickened. Even Rachel looked nervous and Jayson heard her mutter “Signs.” She shivered and shifted from foot to foot. As soon as the footsteps reached a zenith, they stopped and all they heard was a ragged breathing. Abandoning all pretenses, Christie and Alex screamed, and soon, even Rachel started too. Jayson and Bryan looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Bryan looked at the door and noticed that what seemed to be a little bit of light on the door. He moved closer to investigate. A shadow of something flicked across the door and he jumped back. “Crap,” he murmured, “what the hell was that?” Remembering why they were there, he sighed and turned around to the now silent girls and Jayson. Someth…someone’s there,” Bryan told them. Rachel shivered and Jayson was wide eyed. “Its probably Mike, or Joe, remember? They put us up to this. They probably just wanted to scare us,” Bryan explained. Alex, Christie, Rachel and Jayson sighed in unison. Bryan walked over to the wall where the switch was and flicked the light back on. “C’mon, we have to go back upstairs, Jayson left his sweatshirt up there,” Alex suddenly said. Jayson nodded and they walked quickly out of the room. The group of teens walked warily out of the room and made sure to turn on the lights each time they entered a new room. Bryan made a joke to try and lighten the mood, but all that happened was Alex and Christie offered some nervous laughter. They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Bryan stopped. “We saw something up there earlier, so maybe only a few of us should go up there,” Bryan suggested. “Okay, I’ll go,” Jayson volunteered. To everyone’s surprise, Christie offered to join him. “I might as well, as I want to be part of this,” she defended. Alex looked up the inky black stairwell, and asked, “Do we have a flashlight we could give them?” “We did have one remember, but Bryan forgot to put new batteries in it,” Jayson reminded her. “Hey, I had an off day,” Bryan said sheepishly. “C’mon, let’s just go,” Jayson sighed, moving to the first step. Christie followed them and the rest of the group stood at the bottom and waited until the sound of their footsteps faded. “Let’s go to the fridge, I’m hungry and those fools Joe and Mike probably left something in there,” Rachel suggested hopefully. “Ok, sounds cool,” Alex agreed. Bryan shrugged and with a last look up the stairway, turned and followed the two girls. 1
***********2
Jayson and Christie crept along the hallway upstairs and listened to the footsteps of their friends downstairs. When they heard them leave, it seemed like they were in another world, not a different floor in the same house. Jayson pushed open a door, wondering which one he had left his sweatshirt in. Christie looked inside and said,” I don’t see it. Are you sure this is the right room?” Jayson blushed and replied, “I actually don’t remember which room it was in. They all look the same in the dark!” Christie sighed and walked to the next room. Jayson gave one last searching look into the room when he heard Christie scream. He turned and saw her staring at something in the next room, face frozen in terror. 3
***********4
Rachel slipped through the doorway, ready for anything that might jump out at her. Bryan sighed and pushed past her walking straight for the refrigerator. Suddenly he stopped and stared wide eyed in horror. Alex squealed and Rachel ran in the room to see what he was looking at. Bryan started laughing hysterically and was leaning on the wall. “Ha ha, very funny,” Rachel said dryly, punching him on the arm. Alex glared and strode in the room after them. Bryan pulled open the door to the fridge and they stared. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. No racks, no food, nothing. Except…” Hey, what’s that?” Alex asked, leaning closer. “Its…it’s…a pillow?” Bryan said, weirded out. “What the hell kind of thing would sleep in a refrigerator,” Rachel asked, staring intently at the white void. “I don’t know, but I’m betting it’s not human,” Bryan replied. “Dude, wake up, we’re in a house, not a mo…” Alex began, but was cut off by a piercing scream from upstairs.5
***********6
Jayson ran to Christie as she inhaled to scream again. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked, half terrified, half concerned. “It-it was t-the…” she started, but didn’t go any further; she just lifted her finger and pointed into the room, still as white as a ghost. Jayson stepped closer to get a better view and heard a scuffing noise. He looked into the room and saw nothing except for a swinging, half open closet door. “We should mo…” he began, but, still watching the room, stopped as the closet door shut.7
************8
Rachel, Bryan and Christie raced out of the room and flew up the stairs, running as if Satan himself was behind them. They saw Christie and Jayson staring into a room, both scared out of their wits. “What happened? What’s in the room?” Alex asked breathlessly. “I’m not sure, she hasn’t been able to get it out,” Jayson replied, shaking and turning towards them. “Christie saw it, and I know there is something in there, it shut the closet door,” he said, looking on the verge of hysteria. Rachel glanced inside and said loudly, “I’m going to go look.” There was a noise in the closet and the door shook slightly. She inhaled deeply and strode into the room. Jayson, shocked at her thick-headedness, grabbed her wrist before she could go too far. She glared at him, and to his even greater surprise, he could feel her trembling. “Don’t be an ass, Rachel. You have no idea what the hell that thing is,” Jayson said. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and folded her arms. “Fine, why don’t you come and watch me so I don’t get a scrape,” she mocked. Jayson sighed; he knew now that all her bravado was just a façade; she was really as terrified as he was. “Now is not the time to deal with egos, guys,” Christie said, breaking the tense silence. “Yeah, we should just work on getting out of here,” Bryan added. “You can’t,” Alex said, “All the doors are locked. And so are the windows.” Everyone looked at her in surprise. “How do you know?” Christie asked. “Well, this whole setup is to be like a horror movie, right? So then all the windows would be locked, along with the doors,” she stated, as calmly as could be. “Did she just make sense?” Jayson asked incredulously. “I think she did,” Bryan said, just as awed. “Alex, that’s scary, stop it!” Jayson cried, teasing. Alex, along with the rest, laughed. Then, the closet door rattled violently. “Forgot about that,” Rachel said. Before Jayson or anyone else could stop her, she walked forward and opened the door. Everyone held their breath, and then exhaled, relieved. “Well, if something was in there, it’s gone now,” she said. Suddenly, she flew off her feet and was being dragged into the closet. “Holy crap!” Bryan yelled. Jayson and Christie jumped forward to pull her out of the shadow’s grasp. Rachel was terrified; they could see it on her face, and to them, that meant they should all be scared. Alex and Bryan screamed while Jayson and Christie pulled. Finally, they freed Rachel and slammed the door shut. Jayson and Christie helped Rachel stand up, but her knees gave out and she had to lean on them. “Oh my God, what was that?!” Alex cried. “I don’t know, but I want to leave,” Rachel breathed. Everyone nodded in agreement, and the walked quickly out of the room. But, sure enough, when they got to the door, it was locked. “Crap. Okay, everyone, on the count of three, run at the door, we can probably break it down,” Bryan said. “One…Two…Three!” he cried. They ran at the door and hit it. It bent, but was immediately was pushed backward by an answering shove from the other side. They all gasped and backed away from the door. “Let’s try the front door,” Bryan suggested desperately. The rest of them nodded and moved towards the front door. They walked through each room, with precision and cautiousness. When the front door was in sight, they quickened their pace, but abruptly stopped when they heard…”Her...::hiss::… just her…::hiss::…the one who saw…::hiss::” Christie whimpered and backed away from where the voice seemed to be coming from, but for all they knew it could be anywhere. She gave a loud shriek and disappeared. “Christie!” everyone screamed. They ran out of the room and looked around. They heard retreating footsteps and followed them…into room with a lit fireplace. They saw a flickering shadow where the light was cast of a shape over another shape. They charged in the room screaming like idiots and found Christie on the floor. “Christie! Christie, wake up, please wake up!” Alex moaned. Rachel gave her a little shake while Jayson and Bryan monitored the doors. Suddenly, she woke. “What? What’s going on?” She asked. They all sighed and helped her stand. “You were dragged in here by…something,” Bryan explained hesitantly. Christie’s faced darkened, but only for a moment, then she brightened and said, “Well, I’m glad you guys found me!” she said happily, almost to the point on insincerity. Rachel glanced at Jayson and gave him a look that he returned with a shrug. Christie looked at them and frowned, but covered it with a tired smile quickly. “Hey, what’s that?” Alex asked, bending over and picking up an envelope. She read:9
Dear winners,10
Here’s your money! You survived, congratulations, bet you had lots of fun! See you in school Monday!11
Mike & Joe12
There was a sigh and everyone relaxed. “Let’s bounce,” Alex suggested. Everyone nodded and they walked to the front door. Hesitantly, Bryan turned the handle and Click! The door opened and they walked out. They walked together in a line, commenting on how stupid they had been to fall for the stupid joke. But, unbeknownst to them, a hand, severely wounded, pounded on the glass of a window, and the face that went with it was Christie’s. The Christie outside turned around, winked and smiled cruelly at the trapped girl. She held the keys up in a small gesture, and turned around, engaging Bryan in a conversation. The Christie inside screamed, to warn her friends if nothing else, but they kept on walking, something terrible in their midst. 13
Author notes
hope you liked it. if it made you even slightly tingle, then just say something, cause that was my goal.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
wow! i loved it!! you should definetly make a sequal!!!
-
Pretty decent,realistic characters. I liked the ending too. Like the others said, I think it could use some proofreading/editing, but yeah, this was a pretty good story.
-
Nice ending! I couldn't have written it better myself.
-
Awesome! There definatly should be a sequel to this ... afterall, you did make an evil double of one of the girls, leaving her trapped in the house and the evil double to do god-knows what to her friends and the rest of the world, lol. You have a lot of talent when it comes to stories like this, so it's only fair to your readers that you do more with this awesome plot. Great read, really got into it. You could indent the dialouge, because that was kinda hard to follow who was saying what. But that doesn't take away from the story at all - I'm glad I read that!
-
WOW!! You have major talent I am speechless. Great write, I saw the title and feel in love at first sight and HAD to read this, and I am so glad I did. Great imagery, and meaning, and I liked the points you were got to get across. Great job, and keep writing, wouldn’t want the world to collapse without your brilliant mind! Best of wishes and great great job!!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry, I overlooked the errors, though they're were a few I won't mention them because the story was so so great! I'm not good at editing anyways, hehe it could be perfect and I'm just stupid. Anyways, great story!!!!!!!!!
~~~Hannah -
there could be a sequel if i could think of a good enough plot! lol sorry about the editing. it pisses me off when people dont edit their stories, and obviously im being a total hypocrite, but what can i say...im lazy!
-
horrific, yet utterly satisfying ;)
Ooooo! Spooky!
Muy bueno! Aside from a few simple editing miskates, it was very well written. Nice twist on the end. Is there to be a sequel?
1 - 7 of 7
