Sunny Disposition

A/N: Hottest Woman Celebrity: Carrie Underwood.1

A/N: To those who read that first authors note this is entered in a contest.2

A/N: To the Judge: I apologize for the length but I hope it will be accepted.3

Journal,4

I don’t think I’ve ever been so disappointed in my life. My social life is coming to an end very soon. I don’t think I can handle much more of this. I get good grades and I am popular, but I don’t actually think anyone likes me. They probably just think I am completely fake and don’t want to have a thing to do with me. I hate my life and I just want it to end!5

Faith finished writing the journal entry. She had been practicing her handwriting to match Janaria’s for some time now. She slammed Janaria’s leather-bound journal closed and tossed it across the small dorm room. Janaria’s roommate was out for the evening, so she had their dorm to herself. Luckily she had time to hide the body.6

Faith’s neon shirt was now splattered with blood stains. The body of Janaria lay on the floor motionless. “I may have said that I was a lesbian to that guy but he’s not the type to remember that stuff anyway. He was completely drunk when I told him. He probably doesn’t even remember who I am. It’s no consequence to me. He is dead anyway. You are the last one before I move on with my life.”7

*******8

Normally Janaria would be out and partying with her roommate, but tonight, something had changed. Ever since Janaria met Faith at the party, Faith was always on her mind. ‘Why must it be this way? Why must I continue to torture myself? I have to tell her!’9

Shoving herself away from the desk, Janaria tossed on a pair of jeans and a ragged t-shirt with the phrase “bite me” written in bold white lettering across her chest. Grabbing her keys to get back into the dorm room, Janaria checked her hair in the mirror, turned out the light and left the room. As Janaria was walking out the door, her thoughts went back to the party and the time she met Faith.10

*********11

Multicolored lights flashed in the background, beer cans littered the floor, the smell of smoke lingered in the air. People lined the walls and the floor, many making out, some just passed out from the amount of alcohol consumed. Janaria stood at the back of the room, leaning on a wall, looking displeased. This type of party was never her scene. Janaria had been dragged here by her roommate who had seemingly disappeared somewhere into the crowd. ‘Probably off with some random guy again. That is so typical of her. She brings me to these damn parties and leaves me to fend for myself.’ Janaria pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her back pocket, lit one, took a small drag off it and tapped the ashes onto the floor. The music was booming; the bass turned up almost completely to maximum.12

“You know, cigarettes are just cancer sticks right?” Faith had come up to Janaria and tapped her lightly on the shoulder smiling. Her blonde hair looked platinum in the lighting, her neon yellow shirt almost blinding Janaria as she looked over.13

“Yeah? And? I like the calming effect of them, besides; I’m stressed out all the time because of all kinds of different shit. This college life has been so difficult and I’m only a sophomore!” Janaria looked away, a disgusted look upon her face.14

“Well maybe you should get involved in stuff around school. That would be the key to finding happiness you know? Try joining clubs, councils, support groups, stuff like that. Just like get involved.” Faith bubbled and a large smile was on her face.15

“That will only ADD to my stress level thank you very much. And besides, why would I want people to know who I am anyway, there’s no point to it. We all die at some point in our lives. Why not just do it quietly like good people should.” Janaria lowered her voice trying to quiet it so Faith couldn’t hear her. “And maybe you’ll go with them. Lord knows we don’t need any more preppy people in this world. We need more people with quieter outlooks.” Janaria replied sarcastically.16

Faith tilted her head and studied Janaria quietly ignoring the insult Janaria threw in her direction. “You know, there is a group I think you might benefit from a lot. It’s the college LGBT group. It’s a support group for those students who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and allied.”17

“That’s not my thing. Besides, why would I want to listen to people complain about bigotry anyway? I deal with it every day as it is anyways because of the way I dress and my outlook on life. Why would I want to add that to the mix?” Janaria shook her head, trying to ignore this preppy girl who thought that speaking to her could cheer her up.18

“I’m just saying I think it would be a good thing for you. Our next meeting is actually this Saturday at two in the afternoon if you wanted to come along. It’s held in the college apartments across from the new co-ed dorm.” Faith turned slightly to talk to someone and Janaria took that as her cue to inch away but just as she was about to move, Faith reached out and grasped Janaria’s hand gingerly.19

“Yes, this is my girlfriend, what about it?” Faith’s voice drifted over to Janaria and she stopped when she heard those words tumble from Faith’s mouth. ‘So she is lesbian. I should have suspected it.’20

Janaria turned and waited until Faith was gone before she not so nicely yanked Faith to her. Whispering harshly in Faith’s ear, “What do you mean I am your girlfriend! I just met you not five minutes ago! If you know what’s good for you, you will stay away from me!”21

Janaria pulled away, yanked her hand away from Faith and stormed out of the party leaving her roommate there. ‘Just who does she think she is anyway? Saying I am her girlfriend and lying?’ Janaria stopped and thought about the encounter with Faith. ‘She was kind of cute and seemed really nice, a bit preppy, but nice all the same…oh god am I lesbian?!’22

********23

Janaria found herself at Faith’s door and realized she had nothing to say to her. She had not been in contact with Faith since they first met, more so because she was afraid that Faith would hate her. But when the door opened, all of Janaria’s shyness went away. “Faith, I need to talk to you…it’s important.”24

“What is it?” Faith rubbed at her eyes, her hair tousled as if she had been sleeping. Her bright pink shirt stretched tightly across her chest and Janaria had a hard time not noticing that Faith was cold.25

“Can we talk inside? I am feeling a bit uncomfortable in the hallway.” Janaria looked at Faith waiting for her to answer.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea Janaria. I have some…company.” Faith looked back into her apartment then back at Janaria.26

“Please, please. Faith…it is really important.” Janaria had a pleading look on her face.27

“Fine, fine come in, just keep quiet.” Faith stepped back away from the door allowing Janaria in.28

Janaria stepped into the apartment and began to look around. It was a nicely sized apartment for Los Angeles. It had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. The bathrooms were located in the bedrooms so it was as if the bedrooms were masters. A living room separated the bedrooms so each bedroom had its own side of the apartment. On one wall was a white leather couch. Above the couch was an expansive mirror, which took up half the wall. The couch faced the fireplace with a mantle. Just above the mantle was an original Picasso painting. Just to the left of the couch was a pair of sliding glass doors that led to a deck, which overlooked the interstate. The bedroom door adjacent to the couch was closed. “Why is the bedroom door closed?” Janaria started to touch the doorknob when Faith ran over and held the door shut.29

“Don’t open that door.” Faith’s eyes widened.30

“Why ever not? What do you have to hide?” Janaria took her hand away from the knob and looked at Faith with a questioning look upon her features.31

“Just. Don’t.” Faith’s mouth contorted into a frown.32

“But I want to know what’s behind that door!” Janaria went for the door again but Faith grabbed her and shoved her away from the door.33

“I told you not to go in there! Just go sit somewhere.” Faith’s eyes were wide, not from fear but from adrenaline.34

Janaria threw her hands up in a sign of retreat and backed away from the door. She turned around to go sit down when the door opened.35

A woman stepped out. She could not have been a day older than twenty-two. A bathrobe clung to her figure and did not leave much to the imagination. “Faith…” she called her voice light and airy. “Why are you out here instead of in here with me?”36

Janaria turned around and gasped as she looked at the woman. Her eyes trailed down stopping at her breast line before traveling lower. “Who is this Faith?”37

“Janaria, this is Caitlyn, my girlfriend,” Faith responded softly.
Girlfriend…The word echoed in Janaria’s head for a while before she shook her head. “I think I blanked out there for a moment, did you say your girlfriend?”38

“Yes, my girlfriend,” Faith answered calmly.39

“Prove it,” Janaria’s eyes narrowed.40

“Fine. If I have to prove it then I will. Caitlyn, darling, come here.” Faith looked back at Janaria, her eyes narrowed, a look that said ‘how dare you do this?’41

Janaria shrugged her shoulders and motioned towards Caitlyn. “Go on. Prove it.”42

Caitlyn walked over to Faith, her fingers intertwining in her hair. Her lips hovered above Faith’s for a moment before they came down to press in a sweet, tender kiss.43

Faith leaned into the kiss, her arms coming up to wrap around Caitlyn’s neck. The kiss intensified for a single moment then Faith and Caitlyn separated. Caitlyn smiled and hugged Faith to her. “We haven’t kissed like that since we started dating.”44

“I know Caitlyn, I know. I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy with school and keeping guys off me.” Faith smiled and hugged Caitlyn back.45

Janaria stood there stunned and slightly aroused by what she just saw. Taking a shaky breath, she spoke. “Faith, can I talk to you please? That’s why I came here in the first place. I didn’t come here to watch you and your girlfriend make out even though it was a nice show.”46

Faith let go of Caitlyn and walked over to Janaria. “Caitlyn, go back into the bedroom, I’ll be back in there in a few minutes. Go play with your toys.”47

“Okay,” Caitlyn said simply. She turned around and went back into the bedroom closing the door behind her.48

Once the door was closed, Janaria reached up and smacked Faith as hard as she could across the face. “You came onto me at that party, then I come here to tell you that I was sorry and you do this!”49

Faith rubbed her cheek where she had just been slapped, her eyes narrowing. “Look, I’m sorry if I used you as a decoy to get that guy to leave me alone. I’m sorry if I led you on to thinking I was hitting on you, but I wasn’t. I saw you were alone and thought you wanted a friend. You instead treated me like crap and made me feel bad for ever speaking to you.”50

“Wait, what? You used me as a decoy!” Janaria’s eyes widened in shock. “I thought I was actually a lesbian!”51

“Well are you?” Faith questioned, her head tilted to the side.
“No! I can’t be! My parents would disown me!” Janaria looked around in a panic.52

“Well let’s find out if you are then.” Faith began to smile.53

“Wait…what?!” Janaria looked back at Faith.54

“Look, the only way to find out if you are a lesbian is to do lesbian things okay? Seriously, you may find you like it and if you don’t, we can stop. It’s as simple as that.” Faith was smiling genuinely now.55

“What sort of things are we talking about here? I’m not having sex with you if that’s what you mean,” Janaria looked at Faith seriously.56

“You must be one of those technical types. Fine. If you must know, I’m talking about intimate touching, exploring the female body.” Faith began speaking like she was lecturing a class about the body and how the parts work rather than trying to calm Janaria down.57

“Okay…what do you want me to do?” Janaria looked at Faith apprehensively.58

“Well first, you need to loosen up. You’re too tense. You won’t be able to enjoy it if you’re not open to it. Take a few deep breaths, get yourself to relax then hug me.” Faith placed her hands behind her back.59

Janaria took a few deep breaths and sighed trying to get herself to relax. Once she was positive she was relaxed, she went over to Faith and hugged her. Faith’s arms came from around from behind her back and she embraced Janaria gently. Faith brought her lips close to Janaria’s cheek and placed a gentle kiss there. Slowly, Faith began bringing her lips down Janaria’s chin to her lips where Faith proceeded to kiss Janaria very gently.60

Janaria pulled back in surprise at first then returned Faith’s kiss. Janaria brought her hands up to Faith’s hair and intertwined her fingertips in her locks, feeling the softness. She pulled back a moment to whisper, “What do you use on your hair?”61

Faith pulled back a little more and laughed. “Leave it to you to ask something like that. I use Dove on my hair. It keeps it soft and shiny. Come on.” Faith gently took one of Janaria’s hands and placed it on her breast. “Go with what feels right. Don’t be shy.”
Janaria’s hand laid there for a moment and then she dropped it back by her side. “I can’t do this. You have a girlfriend. You should be with her. I’ll just be going.”62

“You sure? You’re welcome to stay here and wander around the apartment if you want. If you want, you could even come join Caitlyn and me in the bedroom. It would be fun.” Faith tilted her head to the side, her hair falling over her shoulder in waves of gold.63

“I’m sure Faith. I’ll just go.” Janaria turned to go to the door.
Faith reached out and grabbed Janaria’s hand. “You said you wanted to talk to me. You said it was important, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?”64

“It’s pointless now,” Janaria replied. “I know now you have a girlfriend and it’s just not worth it anymore.” Her face fell, her eyes going dark with sadness.65

“Oh…you were going to…oh.” Faith backed up a little, a look of surprise crossing her face. “You were going to tell me…oh.”66

“I’ll just be going now.” Janaria went for the door.67

Faith stepped in Janaria’s way and blocked the only exit. “Don’t go. I didn’t know…I wouldn’t have done that with my girlfriend if I had known. Look, can I make it up to you?”68

Janaria looked up at Faith, her face lighting up with an idea. “Yes, there is something you can do. Get rid of Caitlyn and be with me.”69

“I can’t do that Janaria, you know that. Caitlyn and I have been together for a long time now.” Faith shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest, leaning against the door.70

As if on cue, Caitlyn came out of the bedroom. Instead of being in a bathrobe, she came out in just skin. Her red hair lay loosely on her shoulders and down under matched up top so it was obvious her hair color was real. She had crossed her arms across her breasts her hands rubbing her arms, clearly cold. “Faith,” she whined, “come on back to bed! I’m getting lonely!”71

“Caitlyn, you are not making this any easier! I am trying to get back in there but Janaria here is stopping me.” Faith responded irritated, shooting Janaria a death glare.72

Janaria went over to Faith, grabbed her by the shoulder and moved her away from the door. “Fine. If you want to be with your girlfriend then I won’t stand in your way.” Janaria walked out of the apartment and slammed the door behind her.73

Caitlyn ran over to Faith and clung to her. “Do you think she’ll be okay? She seemed pretty upset.”74

“I don’t know Caitlyn, I don’t know.” Faith’s arms tightened convulsively around Caitlyn’s form.75

*****76

Back at Janaria’s dorm room, Janaria sat at her desk writing furiously in her journal. Who does she think she is anyway? She thinks she can get away from me; she’s got another thing coming. She has no idea who she is messing with. I should just kill Caitlyn to spite her. She’d come running back to me. I can’t believe she kissed her in front of me. She has some nerve!77

Slamming the top to the journal back into its locking position, Janaria pushed away from her desk and curled up in her bed, finally allowing herself to cry for the first time in a few months. She was not just crying from frustration and sadness but mostly because it felt good just to let go and have no inhibitions.
Several hours later, Janaria awoke to a knocking at her door. Rolling over, she climbed out of her bed. She went to the door and looked out of the peephole. She saw Faith standing in the doorway. Her face brightened slightly and she opened the door. “Hi Fai…” her greeting cut short.78

Faith pulled back, a knife in her hand. “I’m sorry, but this is for the best. I couldn’t just let you get away with knowing I am a lesbian. No one on this campus knows that I am and I intend to keep it that way. I’m sorry you have to be the one I silence first, but maybe you’ll understand.”79

Janaria stepped back, her hand covering the wound. She is about to speak but coughs and a bit of blood is sprayed onto Faith’s bright neon shirt, the one that she wore when Janaria met her at the party that one night.