We Walk the Night. Chapter1

The stars lit the night like fire flies stuck to an endless black sky. Suns so distant they couldn’t reach him here. The tall building’s lights were slowly shutting off one by one, as though they too were tired from a long day’s work. The street lights remained on but gave off surprisingly little light. Just enough for the few people who had places to be at an hour like this to see the painted lines on the pavement. None tonight. 1

The vampire's overly sensitive hearing picks up on sounds that if he had anything better to do, would have annoyed him and thus been ignored. But not tonight. Tonight he listened simply because he was bored with all this waiting. Bored with waiting like a spider for his prey to touch his web. A couple was fighting in a nearby apartment about whose role was harder in their little family. Ironic really, that they were at each others throats, when it was all he could do to restrain himself from being at theirs.2

'No don’t think of food you should know better, listen to something else.'3

He directed his hearing to some teenage party where the shallow lyric dance music, that was so typical of today’s mortals, was playing loudly. He wondered briefly, if had he been brought up in this age, he would listen to it. He couldn’t stand that noise. He had grown up with the Clash, the Ramones and the Misfits. There were only a select few of today’s bands he could tolerate. That was not one of them. 4

Craven decided to tune out the sounds coming out of the apartments and focus on the beautiful silence of the city. He leaned against the metal air vent that stuck out of the roof he sat on. The metal was cool even in the heat of the summer night. He waited here because he had made a bet with Hyde that he could go a week without looking for food. Now he waited for his prey to come to him. Now his veins seemed to scream of starvation.5

'I bet Hyde couldn’t go a day.'6

His strangled heart nearly leapt out of his chest out of his chest as he heard footsteps behind him, hoping they were human.7

“No luck?”8

Craven shook his head, what blood he had left pulsating in his ears. What would appear to be, to any one who did not know him, an eighteen year old boy with dark brown hair came up from the fire escape ladder with agility that even a professional athlete would marvel at. His electric blue eyes showed his age far better than his appearance, however. His fangs showed even more. The boy sat down next to Craven and looked out over the city. Blue eyes darting along the sides of the buildings below. “What if I looked for it, for you?” he said looking worried.9

Craven let out a hoarse laugh. “That completely defeats the, purpose, Dominic.” he whispered, resting his head once more on the cool steel of the vent. 10

“And what purpose is that?” Dominic was raising his eyebrows. “Hyde didn't even offer you anything and you're torturing yourself.” Craven shrugged and mumbled something that even Dom’s acute hearing couldn’t pick up and continued to search the city streets for any sign of movement with his eyes. “What was that?” Dom’s eyebrows were still raised.11

“I said, I’m not a monster.” He was still whispering, trying to save as much energy as possible for when he could feed. He was tired like he had never been in his life, vampire or mortal.12

Dominic sighed and continued hunting with his eyes across the cityscape. There was no movement of any kind. Well there shouldn’t be, it was past curfew.13

“How many days has it been?” he said, eyebrows disappearing under his hair.14

“Since the bet or since I last fed?”15

“Fed.”16

Craven held up a hand, three middle fingers showing. “You’re gonna kill yourself!” Dominic nearly shouted. His eyebrows were completely gone.17

“Not so loud.” Craven whispered, trying not to laugh at Dom’s eyebrows’ journey to his hairline. “And relax I'm not gonna kill myself. I'm already dead.”18

“Well that makes me feel better.”19

“Shut up, Dom.”20

Dominic stood up with a sigh still looking out over the jet black night lit only by stars and streetlights. He glanced at his wrist watch which sported the helmet of Darth Vader on its face, mumbling something about two A.M. “I’ll never understand you.” he said sighing again, eyebrows returning to their original position at his orbits. Craven let out a small laugh that was still only a whisper.21

“Nor will I” Craven closed his eyes. He had never been so tired.22

“Hey Craven, I have a gift for you.” he said, smiling so big that one could clearly see the outline of his fangs in the blackness.23

“What is it?” he was too exhausted to even pretend to be excited. Eyes still closed. He didn't really care if this “bet” killed him. At least he would know that he wasn’t weak. That he wasn’t merely an animal driven by instinct. That he wasn’t a monster. He just wanted the pain in his chest and veins to stop.24

“Look out over there.” As Craven looked towards where Dominic was pointing he could nearly hear his veins scream “please!”. Dom was pointing to one of the girls leaving that teenage party Craven had been spying on earlier. She seemed to be leaving alone with an obvious drunken swagger. It looked as though she was about to walk home alone. Or attempt to.25

Craven stood up so quickly that he nearly fell off the roof. The pulse in his head was so loud he was sure Dom could hear it. It sounded like battle drums. “Don’t fall,” Dominic said, eyebrows rising once more “you’re not well enough to regenerate.”

Ordinarily Craven would have been annoyed with Dominic’s overwhelming need to state the obvious, but he was already making his way down the fire escape. “Are you gonna need any help?” Dominic spoke without shouting. He knew Craven could hear him even though he was already on the last step of the fire escape stairs.26

“Give me some credit, Dominic. I can at least get a drunken girl.” Dominic laughed from the roof top where they sat moments before as Craven checked to see if he had everything.27

'Lighter fluid check, matches check, pistol check, bullets check.' 28

Craven walked slowly, staying between twenty and thirty feet behind his victim. Not wanting her to know he was behind her just yet. Not until he was sure they were alone. But she was just too easy. She walked into an alley, alone (as far as she knew), and drunk.29

Now was Craven’s time to strike. He broke into a run, fueled only by his desire for food, just fast enough to catch up with the stumbling intoxicated youth. He grabbed her and pushed her against the wall of the alley before she could scream and placed a hand over her mouth. “Don’t make a sound cheríe, let’s make this easy.” Her eyes widened in terror and Craven smiled.30

'She thinks I'm going to rape her. Ha! Well she’ll be disappointed.' 31

Craven turned his victim’s head to the side and sunk his fangs deep into her jugular vein. He drank from her in steady practiced gulps, waiting for her heart’s thin erratic beat to slow to a stop. He dropped her to the ground as he began to feel her last breath leave her body.32

The vampire reached for his belt, crouching down, and pulled out the pistol, eyeing the bite. It was way too deep to shoot off. Any coroner would be confused and make it public.33

He placed his handgun back in his belt and sighed, grabbing the small flask of liter fluid. Craven poured it over the body of his victim, looking for the first time at her face. She was rather pretty. She looked as though she were about fourteen and although her auburn curls hid most of her face; her blank and staring eyes showed the potential she had been born with. The life she could have had. And in the vampires moment of weakness he had stolen it all from her in one hardly satisfying bite.34

The vampire sighed once more, attempting to steal himself away from his own remorse. He stood up and walked away just far enough to make sure he would not get caught in the blaze. He reached into his pocket for a small box of wooden matches. The vampire selected one and struck it against the side of its container, then tossed it over to where the drenched corpse rested against the wall like a rag doll. 35

It lit up like an explosive causing skin to char and burn, making the body nearly unidentifiable. Her family and friends would never know what had happened to her. They would never know that she had become the food of a starving vampire. They would never know how worthless he had made her. A tear as black as the night sky fell down the vampire’s cheek as he turned away. No longer able to look at the inferno of burning flesh he had created. The vampire walked away from this cryptic bonfire as the pitch black tears continued to make rivers down his pale cheeks.36

Author notes

 If anyone could tell me how to put italics in this I would very much appreciate it.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Dreama
    July 15, 2008

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    wow. i was...transfixed. extraordinary. well done- i can't really say much else except that when i get through the rest of my contest entries i can see myself coming back and reading the rest of this story


  • moonwriter
    April 28, 2008
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    This was a really good story with incredible imagery and good descriptions. I loved the characterization and the internal conflict. There were, however several grammatical mistakes. Paragraph two was phrased in a very strange way and could use some reworking His (no need for overly. It makes the phrasing a little weird) sensitive hearing ('fixtated' would sound better right here) on sounds that(,) had (there been) anything better to do, would have(irritated) him. But not tonight. Tonight he listened simply because (all the waiting was bothering him). (He was bored with waiting like an impatient spider waiting to capture his prey) (make new paragraph)A couple was fighting in a nearby apartment about whose role was harder in their little family. Ironic really, that they were at each others throats, when it was all he could do to restrain himself from being at theirs.


  • RoseBlossom100
    October 31, 2007

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    Very good to show that the human feelings and moral values are holding Craven back. Only a few things to point out. In paragraph two your opening sentence does not make sense. And in paragraph nine when dominic is talking you need a coma. Good luck.


  • antibeautiful
    October 12, 2007

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    When you have inner monologue in his mind, you should put '' around it. It would make this more interesting if you put more detail about the girl and how he was feeling.

    Possibly put something that would make you feel at a loss you know?

    • adreamwithin
      October 13, 2007
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      See originally I put his thoughts in italics and for some reason it didn't show up, though im not really sure why. I just dont want it to seem like hes speaking when hes not. Help?

      The reason I didn't add much about the girl at the time was that Cravens character rarely wants to look at his vicims face because of how it saddens him, but maybe I should describe her more I don't know.

1 - 7 of 7