"Thomas" 1
A faint voice echoed through the hazy stupor brought from the loss of blood. 2
"Thomas, please Thomas! Wake up! Please!" Maria's voice cut through the fog in his brain and brought back his senses.3
"Thomas!" she yelled, shaking him vigorously. He opened his eyes to see his sister crying over someone's body. But, something was wrong, he was looking down upon his sister from above, and whose body was that, anyway?4
"Thomas, please, God, no, please no!" Maria screamed. She sat up and Thomas saw with shock the body. His body, lying on the ground with open, unseeing eyes. He stared at his body in shock as the memories came flooding back.5
His father, hitting him, his mother screaming at him, and his poor little sister crying in the corner. He'd run to his room, slammed the door, and begun to search for the little box.6
The box, he'd thought, where is it? He'd torn the room apart, looking for it. Finally, he saw the little box, with it's delicate instruments, sitting near his bed.7
He'd grabbed the box and pulled out the tiny razor. Thinking of the hate for his father, he'd slid the blade over his wrists and gasped in relief.8
Now he saw, with his sister crying over his body, the utter tragedy that his final solution had wrought.9
I'm sorry Maria, thought Thomas as his senses faded for the last time, I'm sorry...
Author notes
Yay! I like your contest
A contest entry
- And They All Lived Happily Ever After? Yeah, Right. by abba12.
175 points, ended October 31, 2007, 44 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I am touched by Ayesha Raees.
220 points, ended January 2, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - +Emo+ by heartfullofvenom.
300 points, ended February 9, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Killing lonliness by Prodigious.Mirth.
350 points, ended February 15, 2008, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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It was really well written and I liked it in all its short lovelyness... I like the names as well
blair
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Woah.
That was a very delightful story. I liked it alot, espically when the boy found out it was his body. Powerful, and I felt bad for the sister. You brought out some deep emotions, and it was a exceptional write.
Good Luck!
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awwwwwww sooo sad!
this is soo soo very sad!
made me sniff
but if you discribed about Thomas's feelings.... proper ones with metaphors..... this story would be a master peice
i like it anyway!
its good!
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Woah...
Another depressing story that has so much truth to it. It's really good!
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aww..
thats so sad,.... short but gud.. i luved all the emotion and detailing you put in this.
gud luk in the contest.
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