Monologue # Three - Upon arrival
Jenny Skipped along the footpath towards the Golden doors to her dream. This Had been her fantasy and her reality for the past two years of her high-school life and now with her year ten certificate and her back up job, she was prepared to enter the world of the creatively talented.
She swung open the doors, smiling as she entered the class room and took a seat. The people already their turned around and stared, some smiling, some confused and some amused. Most of them looked to be in their last twenties mid thirties at least, their was no one their age.
A women stood at the front , a crooked smile on her face, as she scanned the room. She looked at her watch, then turned to the black board, screeching the chalk across the top, to write her name.
Everyone stared as she waved her hand in the air upon completion and turned to the class "My name is Madame Lola and I will be your teacher and guide for the next month". She scanned The room doing a head cont with her fingers, and stared at Jenny, her expression of somewhat like a bad odor had wafted under her nose. She proceeded to grin "Girl up the back with that ridiculous smile on her face , stand up and tell me your name".
Jenny stood up, feeling slightly embarrassed, but more hurt by her words "My name is Jennifer Morley" she said, sitting back down in her seat.
Madame Lola snickered "Ah yes the notorious Jenny Monologue , Iv'e heard all about you".
Author notes
+ Authors notes +
Well In this part I introduced her class mates- still as them and introduced the first impact of conflict with her teacher Madame Lola- as you can see Madame Lola is a little egotistical ...
Enjoy Blair
In a list
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Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I so hope that I understand how in the hell the teacher knew her name, but great way to end this chapter, kind of a cliffhanger wanting to see what is next... well done.
DarkOne -
How about the room? Tell me about the room, and more about the atmosphere...what is the teacher wearing? How about Jenny?
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I do like this but I too have difficulty reading sometimes because of the grammar errors. I have problems with that too so you aren't alone. Over all it was very good.
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'last twenties' should be 'late twenties'. '(their) there was no one (their) her age.'? 'A women' should be 'A woman'. 'head cont' should be 'head count'.
Monologue is supposed to be her last name, a nickname? Why is she called Jenny Monologue? I think you need to clarify that.
You have some typos I didn't point out.
Good cliffhanging. We want to know what the teacher has heard about Jenny.
Andy
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Like I've told you about a lot of your stories, but kind of get tired of, you would have an even greater writing ability and probably more views if you had better grammar or hired someone to fix that for you.
I still thought this was an amazing third part of Monologue, and I will certainly continue to read and comment on the parts when you post them.
Keep up the great work, Blair! -
Nice overall. The only thing that bothers me is the occasionally lacking punctuation and the odd grammar slip -- other than that, the whole thing sat fine and dandy with me. G'job.
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cool
I think it's nice when you keep introducing new characters, but introducing one by one for every single chapter is quite boring, because well, it's predictable. Other than that, I think it's awesome. Can't wait to read about her friends =)
language: 4, plot: 5, characters: 4.
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its nice
why does every seem to notice her so much?
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