Crazy? If you say so. Yes. I will sit in this drab white room, twiddling my thumbs, and I will wait for something, anything, to happen. I will watch them as they watch me, count their abnormalities as they search for those I apparently have.1
Aren't they all very silly? They can see from my calm expression and demure posture that I am the most normal person in the room. No, I am starting to tense, I must not let this happen. Not yet.2
Has your heart ever broken? Honestly, no, mine hasn't either. I used to pretend though, I used to make myself believe that it had. I'm quite surprised at the lack of emotion I often have. Or had, now, I guess.3
I hate the lack of decoration in this room. Room, can I call this a room? Yes, they say it is a room, although I often don't believe them. Kind of drab, like a short sentence, I guess.4
Blonde hair, my hair is blonde, and my eyes, I think that they were green at sometime or other. Colours, I miss colours, I miss the times when blonde was just another word for yellow, or brownish yellow (honey, I think). Stop this, this is butchery! You are butchering a perfectly decent story with these annoying short sentences! Have you ever read a decent book written like that? No! Stop it!5
Author notes
Editing.
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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And we have to read the 'novel', wait for it, five times. I'm off to cry and hurl things at the wall whilst screaming 'WHY?' in the loudest possible manner. Barbie. Xx
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Lol, sorry to disillusion you but it's one of the worst books I've ever read - and I've read every single 'Famous Five', 'Secret Seven' and 'Malory Towers' book by Enid Blyton. It's written like my *ahem* story *ahem*. Barbie. Xx
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We're encouraged to read it - our english teacher tells us it's brilliant.
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Lol, this is actually a parody of a terrible book that I have to study for English ('The Handmaids Tale' by Margaret Atwood). Everything you said in that comment was my response to the book, which makes me think that I have done quite well.
Barbie. Xx
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"I guess"
Don't use the same trailing line on two consecutive paragraphs - the reader thinks that you've run out of creativity. This is waaay too jumpy - while the stream of conciousness style is effective, you need to link the paragraphs more strongly. Your ending paragraph is... well... good luck with the rest
flamearrows -
Lol, cool, thanks Jess. Caz. Xx
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Strange caz. I quite like it but unusually written. It reminds me of me!
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Lol, thanks. Barbie. Xx
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Very good barbie
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Lol, 'tis good though, non?
Caz. Xx
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Lol, excellent. Very... well ok, not very well written... but that's a certain author's fault. Nice adaption to style, I like it, I ALMOST laughed out loud!
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