Look, it’s the woods, okay? You think there’s neon-painted entertainment behind every tree? 1
In a situation like that, just ‘hanging around’ doesn’t mean a guy is loitering and looking for trouble, it just means he’s not eating or sleeping at the moment, so let’s be real! I say again; I was just ... hanging ... around. Quit trying to make such a big deal of it! Besides, Man…with what she was wearing, how was I supposed to know she was so young? She had cute legs…she was ‘unescorted’…why shouldn’t I say hi? What am I, Quasimodo?2
What? No…none of that ‘the better to eat you with’ crap happened that way either! I didn’t touch her grandma, I did NOT offer her an 'un-natural oral act' and I didn’t bust up the furniture! That was her ‘Paul Bunyan’ boyfriend. 3
[conspiratorial stage whisper]4
Hey, you want to find the real criminal here, you check out that guy, Officer! He ain’t all there, y’know what I’m sayin’? I mean, real 'axe-murderer' type! 5
[...merciful fade to black.]6
Author notes
Just thought all sides should be heard.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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*has read this before*
I swear though, I have sooo many ideas on this story sitting on my computer. I really really want to rewrite it...I almost did once for a contest...then I went to visit family and had no computer or internet for two weeks.
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Amusing, but I think you could have played with it a bit more, as if it were a deposition or something. You could find a pretty interesting narrative by having the wolf tell his story. Sure, it's probably been done before, but what the hell. It's all in how you write it, not whether anyone's done it before. As such, maybe you should expand this into a full narrative, not neglecting the dramatic elements so much.
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Oh well! I have never been one to follow somebody elses flow. I have a mind of my own and I am perfectly capable of forming my own opinions. Thank you for the warning, just the same!
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Yeah...I'm a notorious corruptor of ideals and changer of perspectives.
But Touch...ya gotta be careful about sayin' nice things to me! It could get ya ostracized or worse. Haven't you heard? I'm now considered personna non grata and a generally nasty type.
...but thank you. -
This is very funny to my way over active imagination. I am cracking up here. Now you have me thinking of all those other fairy tales I have heard over the years and my brain is going into hyper overdrive. You have certainly added a new perspective to things. Thanks for the giggles!
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Very cleverly done, Dericlee! Free the wolf! Free the wolf!
The fairy tales are always written by...oh, forget it. I don't have any philosophical commentary here -- there's none to give. This was just good for a laugh late at night when I should be getting to sleep. Once again, this was very entertaining. Good job, Dericlee. And get after that boyfriend before he kills again! -
very funny
This isvery funny. I have read a number of these lately but this is certainly the best.
Nicely done.
A big smile up here in the cold, icy woods.
John -
Darn.. I was out gettin popcorn and missed the movie.
Will someone please turn on the lights!
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LOL, wonderful! I liked how you did this! So like a criminal to accuse someone else as he goes down for the crime. I personally liked that other rebutal where the wolf was sick and was trying to bake a cake and was asking for sugar, or was it flour, when he would sneeze and blow their houses down innocently. But your little work here was good as well. It certainly IS a different perspective alright! I wonder if they'll actually look into the boyfriend instead of simply get the wolf? Good write, very funny, I had a nice chuckle over this! Good Job!
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