As Far As The Music Would Let Her Go...

The lights were off, and she was crawled in a ball on her bed. The music was blasting into her ears, as tears ran down her face. She wanted to get away, as far as the music would allow her to go.

She didn't notice as the door opened and her mother walked in, just like how her mother didn't realize that her child couldn't hear her.” Please Care," her mother pleaded using her daughter’s favorite nickname, "I know I haven't been the best mother... and I Know I have many bad habits like smoking... and drinking, but... I am sorry about the way I treat you... I just... I mean… sometimes…," she let her words trail off.

Carrie looked up and noticed her mother standing in the doorway. She took off her headphones, and wiped the tears from her eyes, "What do you want? Come back to yell some more? Or are you in the mood to slap me tonight?"

"I... no...” Her mothers voice went into a whine, “Care... please”

Carrie's jaw tightened as she asked, "Please what? Forgive you for getting drunk each night? Forgive you for ignoring me anytime you’re sober? Forgive you for slowly killing me with your smokes?”

“Listen… I know you don’t how I smoke so much”

“No you listen, because I’m not going to listen to your ‘sorry’ comments, which will mean nothing when it happens again tomorrow! I’m sick of it, I’m sick of hearing all of it, and right now, I’m sick of you!”

Her mother looked sad and hurt for a moment by that comment, but then her face filled with rage, “FINE,” she yelled, “Why don’t you just go call your aunt?!?”

“We’ll at least she loves me and treats me properly! You’re just jealous! But oh wait, wait,” Carrie held up her hands in a defensive manor, “Just go have another beer or two and everything will be fine! Now get out of my room, and leave me alone, before I have to come over there and make you get out myself." A tear rolled down her mother’s cheek as she stepped out and closed the door.

Carrie immediately picked up the phone beside her bed and pressed number one on speed dial, "Hey is Rachel there?"

"Hey Care bear, Yeah one moment, I’ll get her” the voice one the other line said.

“Thanks Jennifer”

There was some bumping around and some yelling on the other end and then someone else came on the phone,” Hello?"

"Hey ray, can you go for a walk? Like right now?” Carrie asked.

"Your mom?” Rachel asked knowing what this was about.

"Mom," Carrie states as she took a deep breath in.

"Kay meet you there"

"Yeah, meet you at the spot." Carrie hung up the phone, and got off the bed. This call has been made hundreds of times, and she knew where she was heading. She got her shoes on and slipped out the back door.

***

Carrie got to the school before Rachel, so she sat down and took her lighter out. She was randomly burning paper when her friend walked up. “You really have to stop that, it’s gotten to be a bad habit,” Rachel stated.

“It helps with the stress.”

Rachel sighed and sat down. She took the lighter and quietly said, “Tell me about what happened this time.”

Carrie told her the story through the tears, but it wasn’t anything new…

***

Carrie walked into her house and saw her mom reaching for something in the closet. Her mother heard the door and turned around. With a shocked face she asked, “Where were you?”

“Like you care, you didn’t even notice I was gone.”

Carrie Headed to her room, but stopped when she heard her mom, “Fine, I don’t care! Are you happy I admitted it?”

Carrie turned around and looked at her mom, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow when you’re sober, Night.” Carrie walked into her room and closed her door.

Carrie turned off the lights as she heard her mom opening a bottle of liquor. She crawled up in a ball on her bed. Put the headphones to her ears. With music blasting and tears rolling down her face, she just wanted to get away, as far as the music would allow her to go.