Re-Animation

"Ahh, MR. Jurango. Welcome back, about time you woke up."1

"Where Am I?"2

"Your in our custody now."3

".....Police?"4

" Eh, yes. Yes we are the police and you have something we want."5

"I want my Phone call."6

Dread Jurango woke up in an interrogation room, hands tied to a metal chair. A table right in front of him. And a Tall, unruly man in a black suit and sunglasses sat across from him, with two others like him, standeing behind him.7

"You wll get your phone call, when I say you can."8

A large folder materialized on the table before Dread. He had a look of awe in his eyes. The Man in the suit slowly opened the folder and rumaged through some papers and news articles carefully.9

Dread noticed that he had his face on those pages. He examined them, taking it sinfully into his mind. Dread was taken out of his trance when the Man in the suit closed the folder, making a loud "THUMP"10

"Well, well, Mr.Jurango. You seem to be quite a good man. One with two lives. In one life, you are a law abiding citizen, you pay your taxes, you work for a respectable software company and...You help your land-lady take out her garbage."11

Dread, thought that he was gonna get off easy, for whatever he did. Until..12

"The Other Life, is lived in computers. Where you go by the hacker alias, Echo. Ahhh, and you have broken almost every single computer fail-safe that we have a law for."13

Dread, looked away, knowing where this might be going. Instant Life. But again he was wrong.14

"We have a special offer for you, one that we only handed out once before, we're allowing to wipe the slate clean, if you help us catch a known terrorist and bring him to justice."15

Dread knew who he was talking about. And he was a friend of this man, so when he opened his mouth to reject the offer. Almost Instantly the Man in the Suit's face turned sour and he jumped over the table, pushed Dread into the corner and held a .50 Desert Eagle to his left temple.16

"OR! I can take you out right NOW! With a bullet to the head! Wouldn't it be a fitting end to a worthless man such as yourself! We both know that no one on this miserable planet cares about you!"17

The Mans words hurt, but he knew that he didn't want to die.18

"WEll!? I'm waiting Mr. Jurango! You know, brain splattered all over the wall will surely make my employer upset, but I'm willing to take that chance!"19

The Man said the last five words slowly rolling it off of his tougue as he lifted Dread higher onto the wall, cocking the gun.20

"Times Up"21

"I"LL DO IT!" 22

Dread screamed as loud as his small frame could.23

"Good man"24

The Man dropped Dread, slipping him on down the wall. The Man walked towards the door and instructed his collegues to to leave, then turned his head back to Dread and a smirk crossed his face.25

"My name is Wallace, Avid Adjutant Wallace. And we'll be in contact with you shortly. Now, wake up.26

With those last two words, Dread shot up in his bed, without a shirt on, snug in his blue plaid boxers and sweat drooping on down his slim body. Even though his air-condition was on full blast and it was freezing, he continued to droop cold perspiration. 27

He lipped only one name, the name of the friend he was supposed to betray;28

"Syrus...I'm sorry"

A contest entry

Tell me you like, pwease.

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Poisonous Love
    August 6
    Edit | Reply
    Very intresting. and unique AWSOME JOB

  • im-mi
    July 23
    Edit | Reply
    thatz diffrent.BUT very interestin.


  • eyeambaldman
    July 11

    Edit | Reply
    Tons of spelling and grammatical errors in this piece make it tough to get through. The first half of the story was a blatant rip-off of the Matrix. Try coming up with something a bit more original. The dialogue seemed a bit stilted but it did help the piece flow a bit.

    I suggest revising this piece and fixing the spelling and grammatical errors and removing The Matrix references and changing them to make them more original. Good luck in the contest!


  • Quixotic Greeters member
    July 10

    Edit | Reply

    Good.

    Kinda had the matrix feel to it. Entertaining and clifing at the end. Is there more of this? I would definitely enjoy reading more from you. Thanks for the entry...i enjoyed it.


  • Lawliet
    March 20
    Edit | Reply
    omg, yay! This was uber good. The ending was sad, though. yay!


  • Deathless1
    March 6
    Edit | Reply
    i really liked this. i can see how you won a gold.
    keep up the good write.


  • Intrepid
    February 24
    Edit | Reply
    very ingruiging my friend, not my favourite genre but who's to stay me from reading


  • Xylch
    February 6

    Edit | Reply

    I enjoyed this story.

    When events in a story are later revealed to be a dream, it is good to have some hint of that before hand. The materializing folder does that well in this story. Since Jurango is awed by it, we know this is not something normal where this story takes place. It is a small thing so we tend to ignore it. When Wallace threatens Jurango with the gun, we still believe it is really happening, as he does. However it is enough to prepare us to accept the events as a dream later.

    The last line of this story tells us very much with few words. From it we know that even though his meeting with Wallace did not actually happen, Jurango will do what he agreed to in it. This makes it clear it was not an ordinary dream, but some kind of communication, so the threat from Wallace is real. We also know Jurango regrets what he will do to his friend.




    • Azzy Bear
      February 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thnx for explaining my story! lol. But really, thnk you. So cool that you liked it.


  • silent dances
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! What a first entry! I really liked this! I may even keep reading this if you don't win first place! Good luck in the contest!


  • Broken--Doll
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is an exciting piece. Very sci-fi!
    I like the concept, and it was pretty engrossing to read.


  • friendsequallove
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOW i really liked it! it as awsome!!!! keep writing like this and you will do great
    caitlin


  • Rosemary silver member
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Good story

    Your story has the same flavor as the Matrix. It would be interesting to see where you take this next. I thought your choice of names were very good.


  • Ayesha Raees
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so good!
    its really amazing! I just simply love it!
    I like the plot and the ending... it was really good!
    you need to work on your spellings and grammer, its just a suggestion because i make a lot of mistakes too! lol but a good beta would good! hey, everyone needs it!

    Well i really wanted full stories, with conclusion and everything... but this is good too! i like cliff hangers IF they are good and make my stomach flutter with excitement!
    so it was a good story, i liked it a lot... esp. the last part.
    It is always a diffiult thing when you have to make a decision between a right thing and your friend...

    I dont really like the name Dread... its kinda rediculous
    good luck in the contest
    good story!


    • Azzy Bear
      October 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Ai, Dread is only a place holder, i just couldn't come up with a name to go with 'Jurango'.
      I know, sasd right? ^_^

1 - 17 of 17