We'll meet again

It's my wedding day
And I'm not feeling so sure.

I'm 20 years old, not 30
where I should already have
an established career and
having boring, marital sex for just one reason
and that's just get knocked up

I'm sitting on a stool by the gloriously carved vanity
my veil is cascading over my shoulders.
My reflection is someone beautiful I don't know.
Myself is someone mischievious I'm accustomed to.

In less than ten minutes I'll be facing my future husband.
Oh how suave and sophisticated he'll look.
I'll be saying vows I don't mean and He'll probably
be saying sweet nothings he does mean.

I look to my reflection.
could I really say;
"At first kiss I felt something melt inside me
that hurt in an exquisite way. All my longings,
all my dreams and sweet anguish,
all the secrets that slept deep within me
came awake. Everything was transformed and
enchanted. Everything made sense because of you."

of course I could but there were more to my vows.
"The memories we have, just keep getting better and better,
the days keep getting brighter and brighter, but they're not
brighter because of you. For once I can stand on my own two feet,
I don't need you to be my life support anymore. I'm not saying I don't need you anymore, I'm just saying there are things I can do and need to do without you being in my life. I'm not saying I don't love you because I do. If I didn't love you I would lead a life of deception as your wife. But I do love you and this is why I'm letting you go. I'm not the only one who has dreams that needs to be fulfilled. and I promise you one day we'll meet again."

Tears brimmed my bottom eyelids.
I took a pair of scissors
grabbed the side of my white dress
and cut it above the knee.

The ripping of the multi-thousand dollar dress
sounded heartbreaking. And that's probably what Shane's
Heart would sound like. I dug the comb out of my hair.
Laid my veil over the chair. I loosened my hair from the neatly and tightened bun and shook out the stiffness.

Oh how wonderful it felt to have my luscious long hair back.

I took a pen and wrote on a sticky-note
"you always had my heart, I may never get over you.
but my dreams can't go on feeling hopeless"

I grabbed a bobbypin from the vanity and pinned it to my veil.
Surely he would find it. The final thing was to take out the picture of me and him and leave it there. I did just so, but before leaving I applied my signature lipgloss and kissed the photo. I laid the picture on the vanity and sprinted for the door. I grabbed my keys and hopped into the drivers seat of my convertible. The sun was setting. The wedding would start, but I wouldn't be there. There are bigger things for me to accomplish. I placed my sunglasses on the bridge of my nose, and drove off into the horizon towards the big Hollywood sign. Oh yes - Hollywood has a new bride!