To Love

She had an addiction which he thought he could fix. He loved her no matter what she did even with all her faults but there was one fault that he couldn’t accept.
He chased her down the hallway and pushed her against the wall. He stood in front of the bathroom door blocking entry way.
“Let me through!” She yelled in vain.
“I’m not letting you do it.”
“I can do whatever I want. You can’t control me.”
“Please.”
She took off out the backdoor as he chased after her. He jumped and wrapped his arms around her and locked them on her stomach. She was kicking and screaming. They both tumbled to the ground.
“Stop! Get off me. Leave me alone. Just Go!”
“I’m not giving up on you. I know you can get better. Please don’t do it. For me, can you just please not do it” He asked with a pleading voice.
“I can’t. I have to, it’s something I have to do. If you loved me like you say you do you would let me do it.” She said with tears streaming down her face.
By this time the lovely old lady who lived next door was out watering her flowers looking over towards the backyard where Jase and Rachel were laying and fighting with each other. The old lady was in a panic and didn’t know just what to do. It sounded like abuse? I should just mind my own business anyhow she thought. She glanced back over and the sweet nice girl who baked her cookies once was now on her knees hunched over purging. And the girl’s boyfriend walking back towards the house with his head hung low, shaking his head as if he had just been defeated.

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Comments


  • On.Cue
    September 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I liked your idea of cutting out one part of a should-be-long-story and making that part tell the entire story itself.

    I felt like I could see what was happening in the overall picture. But I couldn't see much details.

    I really liked the idea of this whole thing, though. Good job.

    Please change the background, though.


  • Surreal Rhapsody
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That was really good. I'm not sure what she wanted to do though. The only advice I have is to try to make it clearer. I liked it anyway, though. Great Job!