unfinished

'Useless' she whispered to herself as she lay in the dark next to the slumbering demon who had beaten her so badly just hours earlier. The shooting pain in her back was never going to let her sleep. She couldn't help but fantasize about clubbing him to death with the metal bat he kept next to his side of the lumpy hidabed sofa she was expected to sleep on. He wouldn't think she was such stupid bitch then she thought, Nope he wouldn't be doing much thinking at all. 1

Everytime she would start to drift off into a numbing sleep another muscle would spasm, causing the pain in her back to re awaken her, forcing her back to the dingy little room she knew to be home and the disgusting life she knew to be her own.2

As she lay there, thinking of whether or not there was anything to eat in the ramshackle kitchen she suddenly remembered the plans she had made the day before. She was supposed to meet up with her mom the next morning and get some money for the laundry she needed to do. Her heart sank.3

"God Damit" she whispered again, her mother was no fool, she would know at first glance what had happend and lying to her would only drive that icy wedge which had settled between them even deeper. 4

She hoped that maybe it wasn't that bad, maybe it felt worse than it looked, she looked over to the other side of the bed at the sleeping troll next to her and for a moment she considered grabbing all the asshole's dope and sneaking off into the night, it brought a smile to her swollen lips. The pain quickly brought her back to reality, no, she thought, it could be worse. Her secrets could be exposed, something she could never live down.5

Carefully gathering the blankets up she softly set them aside so she could get up and check out the damage to her face without waking the son of a bitch up.6

Each step every breath was excruciating, causing her to wince and cry out as she made her way into the bathroom. A wave of panic rushed over her battered body, she froze in the darkness, praying 'please God don't let him wake up' still as a post she listened for signs of movement from within the little room across the hall, nothing, he was still sound asleep.7

She slowly closed the creaking door and latched the lock behind her. Turning on the light she closed her eyes, she wasn't sure she wanted to see after all.8

Thinking of the meeting with her mom she slowly opened her bruised bloodshot eyes. Staring at what used to be a preety face tears quickly filled her once vibrant sparking eyes, running down her bruised cheek the salty tears made the split in her lips sting. Reaching for a tissue to blot the stinging tears and clean some of dried blood from around her mouth she thought of how much she truly hated him. Not really so much for the beatings but because of what she knew her mother would go through from seeing the mess he made of her face. She knew she couldn't meet her mother in the morning, which meant she would be forced to wear dirty clothes for yet another week. Her mom would know something was up as soon as she cancelled and she knew there was going to be twenty questions to go along with a thousand accusations but that was better than seeing the hurt and disappointment her moms eyes. Better than trying to explain to her why she stayed with the creep, thinking for a moment about her mothers reaction the last time she saw her broken bruised body, she decided that it would be in her mothers best interest as well as her own to wait until her face healed. Even though it meant lying to her.9

This was normally the point where she would get angry, thinking of the life she was entitled to and that the bastard had no fucking right to lay one hand on her, but she was tired. She didn't care anymore about what happened to her, she didn't care anymore about right or wrong. She just wanted to sleep, to sleep for an eternity, or at least until the bruising would fade enough to be covered by make up.10

She made her way back to the bedroom, thinking of a time not so very long ago when she was full of life. She would have never tolerated anyone laying a hand on her, she thought sadly. How did she let this happen? How did she manage to get to this point? she wondered with an immense amount of confusion as her body screamed out for some relief from the waves of pain that seemed so damn intent on her torment. Refusing to allow her the sleep that promised her dreams of peace, dreams of him.11

Before climbing back into the bed that she knew would bring zero comfort she decided she was going to get into one of the bottles he kept in the dresser, sure she would have to pay for it eventually but for now she couldn't think of another alternative and the pain was increasing with time rather than easing.12

She hated feeling like a thief, in her own house no less but she knew better than to be too bold. Squinting through swollen and bruised eyes in the cold dark room she found what she needed, she hoped. The label read one pill every 12 hours, she thought she should take two just in case, one for later. Finding the name of the drug on the bottle was proving harder than finding the dosage. She popped the tiny pill into her mouth and headed back to bed, keeping the other tucked under her pillow. Before long she realized she was feeling better.13

Breathing a sigh of relief she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a man, a man who's face she's never seen, a man who visited her dreams often.14

"Hey babe, you okay?" her eyes slamming open she tried to sit up but the pain in her back tore through her, collapsing her back onto the bed with what felt like an iron fist. Heavy and hot it twisted and pulled on every muscle in her back and now her neck, the pain was growing, spreading like a disease.15

What time is it? she asked through grit teeth, Her mom, she had to call her and cancel before she left for the laundry mat.16

SHHHH it's okay, just relax he cooed gently, I already talked to your mom, she called and said to tell you she had a last minute appointment with a client and she would have to meet with you later.17

Relief started to settle in as her pounding heart slowed to bearable beat.18

Gosh babe you look terrible,I am so sorry.19

She heard it before, she didn't want to go through it, she didn't care, in fact she was tired of soothing his concious for him. She was the one who had the shit beat out of her but somehow he would twist it around to make her the evil doer that forced the beating.20

He continued on, her silience irratating him, ya know I hate fighting with you, he whined like spoiled child and she wished he'd fall over and die of a heart attack, leaving her in peace.21

Okay! here they come she thought, the tears, fuck she wants to puke at the thought of touching him.22

It's gonna be okay she said comforting him, we always work it out, don't we? She smiled reassuring him that she didn't think he was a mosterous pig. If he only knew, he was too arrogant to believe anyone would deny him.23

Oh God hon, I never want to hurt each other again he whimpered as he layed his head on her breast, "OUCH" she yelped pulling away, quickly reaching for his hand she continued to reassure him. Smiling through swollen battered lips, she explained with all the sweetness she could manage, Just a little sore.24

"Okay",he smiled back at her as is if she wan't laying there broken and in pain. Why don't you stay in bed and I'll go get us something to eat at McDonalds?, sounds great she replied forcing another smile, will ya get me Sprite or 7Up or something like that, my throats a little sore.25

Will do! he announced with excitement as if it was some important mission he was undertaking. She almost hated him worse when he was kissing her ass.26

She waited until she heard the car leave the gravel driveway. Checking under her pillow she found the tiny pink pill she stashed the night before. Popping it in her mouth she swallowed it dry, desperate for relief.27

She then forced her body through the painful warnings of broken bones back to the drawer to get a better look at the label on that bottle. She wanted to know what she was taking, not that it would make a difference on whether or not she would take the drug but it was still a nice little bit of info to have. Finding the bottle she again searched the little label for the contents identity, Oxycontin 40 mg qauntity 60 tab, she opened the bottle once again, looks like a whole heck of a lot more than 60 of them in there she said to nobody in particular, she dumped about 20 pills into her hand, careful to put everything back the way she found it she then struggled to the back to the privacy of the bathroom.28

Locking the door behind her she sat on the toliet and began looking around for a hiding place, her tampax! Of course! He will never think to look in a box of tampax. Just in case, she plucked one out of the middle of the package, carefully opening one end of the plastic wrapper she dropped the tiny pills into the end of the tampon, then sliding the wrapper back on the tampom she placed it back into the middle of the box and put them back under the sink. Brilliant! she thought, sure that he will never notice them gone and even if he does he won't ever find them hidden there.29

Wow, these little suckers are great, quick too she thought as she slowly made the painful trek back to the bedroom/livingroom.30

Climbing back onto the bed she grabbed the remote and started looking for a good movie to fall asleep to. The next thing she knew he was standing over the top of her with a big cheesy grin on his smug self rightous face, holding her Sprite like he was a great hunter presenting his mate with a fresh kill. She wished again for his immediate demise.31

Smiling sweetly and thanking him for the soda she noticing the big bag of food and asked "whadya get me?" the way he rolled eyes and began to whine she knew he already gave her what he had gotten her. It's alright she said, don't worry about it, I shoulda said something before you left.32

She hadn't eaten in four days now and she was sure he had said he would go to McDonald and get THEM something to eat. Watching him as he struggled with his shoe laces she wondered what she ever saw in him.33

He was 6'3 and wieghed probably 280 lb. with a mass of thick black hair and eyes that were as dark as his predatory soul. 34

She wished she had listened to her mother 3 years earlier when she was 15 then, he was 24 and had convinced her that he would give her the world.35

He drove a fast car and had the attention of every girl at the party, but it was her he wanted.36

He said she was an angel, he said she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She knew she was a preety girl but nobody had ever told her she was a beautiful woman before.37

She thought about where she would be right now had she just listened to her mom, had she just believed in herself rather than the false hopes and promises of the man she had quickly come to despise.38

She could have had any boyfriend she wanted, she could have gone to any college she wanted, she could have had a nice life.39

Instead she was here, she thought as she stared at the 12 inch black and white T.V., in a studio apartment with a man she despised, addicted to drugs. So alone and so scarred she hated thinking at all.40

Her stomach growled angrily at the intoxicating smell of his 5 cheeseburgers, she reached for her Sprite, knocking it over onto the bag of the remaining 3 burgers she braced herself for the yelling and a smack.41

God damn it! You fucking stupid bitch, he yelled as he smacked the back of her head causing her lurch forward.42

I'm sorry babe, I don't know whats wrong with me today she cried as she looked for a towel or something to sop up the spilled soda.43

Your'e a stupid bitch, he said and stormed angrily from the room, grabbing his shoes and keys he left.44

She smiled as she heard the door slam behind him. Satisfied with what seemed to be karma's interferance with the gluttonous pigs lunch. She was still hungry but satisfied.45

On her way to the kitchen for a dish towel to clean up the spilled soda she saw the lid hadn't popped off the cup. Picking up the cup and the bag she giggled a sly little giggle, nothing was wet. 46

Looked like she would have something to eat after all. 47

Before giving in to her demanding stomach and getting herself settled back into bed she wanted another pill. Chasing the tiny treasure down with a long sweet drink of her soda she felt a bit of triumph but she knew she had to hide the evidence of her feast. Standing in kitchen next to the trash can she gobbled down the cheeseburgers as quickly as she could, considering her mouth was one of the focal points of his rage the night before. Being sure to re fill the wrappers with wadded up paper towels she placed them back in the bag and strategically dumped a cup of water on it. Feeling secure enough to go back to bed she would soon give in to the drug induced euphoria that had been demanding sleep from her exhausted mind and body.48

With a satisfied smile she drifted back to sleep, dreaming of fantasy life with the mysterious man in her dreams, forgetting about her sad situation and her pathetic exsistance for a few more hours.49

The pounding on the front door startled her awake.50

She lay still for a moment listening, not sure if it was real or perhaps just a sound from a program that was on t.v. Nicole! she heard her name,DAMN she swore it was someone at the door afterall. Disappointed she was being summoned out of bed she grabbed her robe and headed toward the door. Still painfully aware of every muscle in her body she was past the point of bieng embarassed by the evidence of Ricks love that was plastered all over her face and body. Fuck em she thought, they can take their gossip and go jump off a fucking cliff. She was tired of the sympathetic looks and the hypocritical whispers. 51

As she opened the door she was surprised to see two city cops standing on the old rickety porch. What's he done this time? she asked not bothering to hide the contempt she felt for them. Well Nicole, Rick's at the station waiting to be charged. What are ya waiting on? again with venom dripping from each word. Charge him already, would ya! Both cops chuckled, thinking my bruises and obvious lack of concern for Rick was their ticket into my house.52

The thing is Nicole, Rick said he'd be willing to cooperate with us if we'd be willing to release him today with no charges being filed. Yeah, so ? was her simple response. Well seeing as how he gave us permission to come on in search the house we thought we'd take him up on his offer. Sarcasticaly she replied, Oh I see, so what your saying is that since Rick gave you permission to come into my house,a house that does not belong to him, in fact officer he doesn't even live here, let alone have any right to consent to a search, you think I am going to invite you in so my abusive son of a bitch bastard boyfriend will stay out of jail. Is that what you are saying? Still smiling the spokesman of the pair started to say something more, cutting him short she continued, Officer, how bout I make you a deal? You go ahead and throw the fuck in jail, in fact please do throw him in jail, but don't think you are gonna come to my home and perform any kind search. You want him in jail? You got him, throw away the fuckin key.Please. With that she slammed the door shut. 53

With a satisfied grin she moved toward the coffie pot. Waiting for the coffie to finish brewing she wondered how long she'd been sleeping. Just as she was about to pour herself a cup of the much needed hot black liquid there was another knock at the door. Spinning around she half heartedly attempted a stomp toward the door. Grabbing the handle she swung the door open ready to tell the cops to go fuck themselves. 54

Who the fuck are you? she asked surprised, Hey, hows it going? he asked in return. My names Gene, Ricks friend. She stared at him with a blank expression for a few seconds trying to remember if Rick ever talked about a Gene, then with little interest in who he was she said I don't know any Gene. Probably cuz I've been in prison for the last six years he replied with a shy smile that kind of caught her off gaurd. His friendliness seemed sincere and she liked the way he looked when he smiled at her, it seemed familar, comforting. Well Gene from prison, Ricks not here, I think the cops have him down at the cop shop, she informed him.55

No uh I mean I know, he said, again with a polite shyness that she thought was cute. It was hard to invision this guy in prison, he seemed different than Ricks friends. Most of whom were thugs and worse.56

Actually, he continued, Rick called me and asked that I come over and warn ya the cops would be coming by he said to tell you not to let em in. I guess your phone doesn't accept collect calls. She shook her carefully from side to side, Nope no collect calls and the cops were already here, in fact you just missed them. Again he smiled, I didn't miss em, I saw the pigs trying to play ya. Beautiful eyes she thought, Oh ya did, did ya? Uh HUH, looked like you had it preety well under control. Well unfortunatley it's not my first run in with them trying to get into my house cuz of something your friend Rick has done. Oh I see! he laughed, my friend, don't ya mean your boyfriend. She smiled saying, touche to Ricks friend Gene, would ya like to come in? she asked. I was just getting my self some coffie and I wouldn't mind the company so much if you won't mind the mess. Sure he smiled as he came in, taking a seat at the kitchen table that was still covered with broken glass from the tantrum Rick had the night before. 57

Sorry, let me get this cleaned up she said suddenly aware she was in her bathrobe with not much on underneath.Oh God look at me, I'm a mess, I don't even know what time it is she explained obviously a little more self concious than she was comfortable with. Looking at his watch he told her it was one thirty. What? one thirty? It can't be, it was after 3 o'clock when Rick left pissed about his freaking cheeseburgers. How long do you think you've been asleep? he asked with a sly tone to his voice. God, I don't know she said noticing an itch behind her ear growing more and more intense. When I came by yesterday afternoon you were snoring like a chain saw. Embarassed at the thought of being asleep while people wandered around her home she felt her face warm up and was sure it was now bright red to go along with the black blue and yellow bruising. He noticed her embarassment and admitted she wasn't really snoring like a chain saw, more like a buzz saw he teased. She set his coffie down in front of him feeling more at ease and apologized ahead of time if wanted cream or sugar, there was none, she said bitterly. Sitting down across from him she tried not to act to dramatic about the pain in her back. So, he asked, do you wanna know whats up with Rick?58

Reaching up behind her ear to again try and find what in the hell's been itching so bad she admitted in a flat matter of fact tone that she didn't care. He stood up and walked toward her, let me look, he said.59

No, it's okay probably just a mosquito bite or something. C'mon let me see, he said as he carefully turned her head and moved her hair out from behind her ear. Here, hold this he ordered as he pushed all her hair over to the opposite side of where he was inspecting her head. She noticed his smell, clean and masculine, her heart started to beat a little faster.60

AH HA he exclaimed, causing her to startle. I think I found the problem. What? What is it? Get it! Hurry! The panic in her voice increasing with each demand. In a soft reassuring voice he promised it wasn't that bad, it's okay he soothed. She could feel his breath whisper against her neck causing chills to run rapidly up her spine and she wondered if he noticed.61

Hold still, I almost got it. Is it a bug? she asked, again the panic she felt was evident in her voice. No... it's... a... piece of glass he said as he pulled the shard from her head. Oh real nice, must be some leftovers from Rick's fit the other night was her sarcastic thanks. 62

Yeah he said, Rick always was a hot tempered prick.63

Well, I better get in the shower and start getting things around here cleaned up. Ya never know when the hot tempered prick may show up huh. Her words came out a little shitier than she had intended but she couldn't help but be annoyed at his remark. There was a huge difference between hot tempered and an abusive homocidal maniac. 64

As she stood up to walk him to the door he asked if it would be alright with her if he waited around for Rick, saying he should be back soon. Sure, make yourself at home. The T.V. isn't much but we pirate cable from the neighbor so we do have all the channel's. Smiling at her concern over his entertainment he thanked her, I'll be fine. Okay, great, then I'll just grab some clothes and head to the shower and you make yourself at home. As she was going through her laundry basket looking for something comfortable to wear she realized the bed was still out. Hey Gene? she called out from the other room, yeah? what's up? he asked popping his head through the curtain that seperated the kitchen area from the bedroom/livingroom. Ya wanna give me a hand folding this bed back into a couch? My backs been buggin me latley and it's a little heavy she told him. Oh, Well how 'bout I fold the couch up and you just go take your shower and don't worry about it? Now it was her turn to smile shyly at him, she hadn't been treated this sweetly in a long time. Alright then, it's a deal, just let me grab my clothes and I'll get outta here. Picking up the pile of clothes she'd set aside her bathrobe had slipped off her shoulder just enough to show the deep purple bruise that covered her upper back. She had felt so comfortable with him that she had forgotten for minute about the secrets and lies and beatings that were now her life. Seeing the look in his eyes she felt his pity and it angered her. Look! she yelled, Get a good look, impressive huh? Doesn't it make ya wonder what I did to deserve something this ugly? Her voice cracked with her last word and she turned her back to him feeling weak on top of anger and disappointment. Suddenly she felt him walk up behind her, I don't think you could ever do anything to deserve anyone ever touching you with anything other than kindness he said as he placed his hand gently on her shoulder. I'm sorry she said still keeping her back to him, I'm just a little out of it today, I didn't mean to snap at you. She was afraid of what might happen should she look at him, afraid of falling for him which she was beginning to think she already had.65

I just hate it when people pity me, ya know? Like I'm some kind of helpless animal or something. Yeah! Nicole, I know. My name, he had said my name. The way he said my name, it was so familar, so... right. She wanted to feel his arms around her, this man she barely knew. She didn't understand it but she felt like she had known him her entire life and was tempted to ask him more about himself. She thought maybe she knew him when she was a kid, maybe their parents knew each other. She doubted it, she needed to pull herself together and stop acting so desperate.66

I better get in that shower, she said breaking the silence. Okay, I'll see ya when ya get out and maybe I can see about getting you to put some ice on that lip, don't want a scar do ya. It was a statement rather than a question and he was right. 67

While the hot water soothed her aches she thought about this friend of Ricks, Gene, and what it was about him that felt so right. Sure he's nice to look at but so are a lot of guys and looks have never been the most important factor in who she found attractive. She thought for a moment that maybe it was just that he was kind to her and that she shouldn't read anything more into it. After all he is Ricks friend and she doubted that he would be interested in his buddies girlfriend. He's probably just trying to be a good friend and watch out for his buddies girl. She wouldn't allow herself anymore heartbreaks or disappointments. Nah, she thought, it's better to keep herself from geting any far fetched romantic ideas. Besides this guy just got out of prison! He's probably just as sweet to every female that he comes in contact with and another thing, what was he in prison for? she wondered. 68

Feeling the spasms in her back start up again she hurried and washed her hair, rinsing it she noticed the water in bottom of the shower was pink. Blood, wow she had a lot more blood in her hair than she had thought and it seemed to be getting darker and thicker.69

Worried she turned the water off and wrapped a towel around her body. She'd get the hand mirror out and see if she could find a wound, she thought she had heard somewhere that head wounds bleed a lot, even te little ones and she started to relax. Maybe it's just cuz of the warm water, it's probably just a little cut, after all she hadn't even known her head was hurt until the piece of glass started itching. Looking carefully through her hair she found no cuts, no nothing really aside from a couple of scratches but nothing that needed medical attention.70

Relieved she wasn't gonna end up in the E.R. again she dropped her towel to the floor to finish rinsing and felt something sticky between her legs. Stepping into the shower it hit her, the pain in her back, it dropped her hard to the shower floor where she realized the source of the blood was not a cut on her head but coming from between her legs. OH GOD she yelled, I'm bleeding, panic again setting in she grabbed her towel thinking she could cover up and yell for Gene to call 911. The pain was squeezing, crushing hot pain, she felt like she was going to be sick. Crawling to the toilet she vomitted hard, she couldn't breathe, the room was spinning. Was this it? This was how and where she would die? Thinking of her mom and her brother and sister and of her childhood she asked God to protect them from the truth, they didn't deserve this. She yells OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE? and then blackness, like a tunnel, everything was getting darker until... nothing.71

Does she have any allergies? I don't know, she heard Gene answer the person who was asking the questions. What about next of kin? Um she has a mom somewhere in Everett but I really don't know much, I'm a friend of her boyfriend. You're not the boyfriend? No he's not the boyfriend, I heard another familar voice answer.72

Do we know if she has a boyfriend? Nobody answered. Is she a prostitute? No! came the simultanious reply, she's not a hooker you asshole, does she look like a hooker? 73

Hey, I'm just trying to figure somethings out so I know how best to treat her, she heard the man who had been asking all the questions reply.74

Oh and whether or not she's a hooker will help you to determine what? How much demerol to give her? What kind of blood she should get? fuck you, get a real doctor in here. Keeping her eyes closed she listened for a response but only heard someone leave what she now knew to be a hospital room. Unsure of who was left in the room she was hesitant to open her eyes. Then she felt it, his warm strong hand wrap around hers and she opened her eyes. Hey you! he said, God Nicole you scared the hell out of me. I'm sorry she smiled sheepishly in her drug induced euphoria. Hush now, I'm gonna go see if I can find a doctor, Do you need anything? I'm kinda cold, maybe a blanket or two.75

She watched him leave the room and found herself wanting to yell out for him to come back, Don't leave me, she wanted to yell to him but she was being foolish. She would never be free of Rick and even if she was who's to say Gene would want her. No, she thought, her secrets would keep her right where she was and with who she was with.76

Well, welcome back Ms.Grisse. Opening her eyes she saw what she was certain was a different doctor than what was in her room earlier.His voice was much more patient and kind. Do you know what happend? he asked. No, not really, I remember taking a shower and then...she stopped. Oh God, she remembered taking a shower and then crawling naked on bathroom floor, throwing up and then waking up here.77

Which means Gene must have...78

Well, the doctor continued, interupting her thoughts, if wasn't for your friend you would have bled to death. You were bleeding for what looks like a couple of days. What? she asked totaly confused, a couple of days? From what a backache? Not hardly he said with concern written on his face, have you been in a car accident or something else of that nature within the last 3 or 4 days? Dread filled her heart. He knew, how could he not she thought. She was covered in angry deep bruises, some old some new. The doctor asked her again, Has there been an accident? Her silence was all the answer he needed. Who did this to you? again she said nothing, not because of some misplaced love or devotion to the bastard but because she couldn't. She knew with his arrest would come the secrets, he would expose her and she could not, no, she would not live with that kind of shame. Alright, he said placing his hand on her arm, we need to keep you here for a couple more days until your tests come back normal.79

A couple of days? I can't she confessed, my mom, she can't know, she can't see me like this! Your mother has already been called, she should be here shortly.80

Fuck! Whats wrong with you people? I am 18 ! I have a right to privacy. Your friend called her, he said as walked out of the room clearly frustrated with her stubborn refusal to destroy what was left of her once charmed life.81

Laying there she started to think of the conversation she heard earlier between the doctor and Gene. Remembering the other voice, she couldn't help but be curious as to who it was. Who was so sure that Gene was not her boyfriend. Who said that? she thought as the nurse came in with another syringe full of demerol, mmmmmmm she sighed as the sweet drug took its time running through her thirsty veins. That's nice! she said outloud as the nurse checked over her vitals before leaving her to enjoy the euphoric state she had drifted into.82

What! she yelled as she sat up in bed, startled by something. Hey Hey Hey now ssshhh just relax, everything's alright. I'm here now. Looking across the room at Gene she felt strange, something wasn't right. Hey, whatcha doing babe, I'm right here next to ya. Your safe now. Her heart felt as though it had climbed up into her throat, gagging her as she realized it was Rick, he was what was not right. He had gotten out of jail. Gene rushed over and handed her the pink bucket used for sponge baths and she couldn't help but let loose. The nurse came rushing into the room and injected her I.V with something. It made her a little sleepy and stopped her stomach from turning inside out but it wasn't the good stuff. What did you give me? she asked the nurse who was still buzy checking the various bags and tubes that were connected to her body. She reminded her of someone's grandmother, she smelled like lavender and wore her hair in a bun. Oh, it's just a little something to stop you from getting sick to your tummy and something for the pain, we don't want you vommiting dear. You could start hemmorhaging again and the doctors think you've lost enough blood she chided tederly. Blood loss? she said with a confused look, I thought they fixed that? Oh dear, you have been in and out of the operating room 4 times with those doctors trying to get the bleeding under control. Where am I bleeding from? The nurse looked at Rick and Gene and then back to me as if to ask if it was okay to talk in front of them. Understanding she shook her head no, she didn't want to announce any gory details about anything so private. The nurse then turned to the two visitors and asked that they leave while she cleaned her up and gets her into some different bed clothes. Rick rushed dramatically to her side, asking her if she was going to be okay if he went to smoke nodding over in Gene's direction,as if he was doing her a favor by getting Gene out of there. In reality she would feel better if Gene were to stay and Rick leave but she knew that was a silly thing to even think and quickly assured Rick she would be fine. like her really gave a shit, she thought to herself, he was just putting on a show to avoid suspicion and she knew it.83

As they left for the elevators the nurse introduced herself as Nancy. After getting a clean bucket for the sponge bath and fresh sheets she noticed Nancy was looking in a suitcase for pajamas and she asked who brought the clothes. Your mom did dear and she has been very upset about a few things. She knew what those things were and all she could do was keep silent, she had no excuses for hurting her mom and wouldn't attempt to make any up. Nicole, I want to share something with you that is very painful for me to talk about, said Nancy. 'Okay' she barely whispered, with her head hung low, eyes down. Nicole, Nancy said as she cupped her chin into her soft wrinkled hand, pulling her head up forcing Nicole to look at her. Look at me, this is important and I want to know you hear me. 'Okay, I'm listening', she said.84

Nancy started by saying that she knew she'd do whatever she thought she had to do, regardless of what anyone had to say, but that she hoped the choices made were one's that would be good for her and not to protect the person who had been beating her.85

Nicole, the police have been here and they have been talking to your mom. She could only listen, hoping her secret hadn't already been told. Nancy continued, They've also talked to your friend Gene, he's the one that found you and called 911. He's also the one that saved your life and has stayed by your bedside leaving only when asked to. She couldn't help but feel a little giddy hearing that and looked at Nancy eager to hear more about Gene. But, Rick, your boyfriend, he is another story all together. Her heart sank again remembering it doesn't matter if Gene feels for her or not, she's stuck. Rick is the one who hurt you, she stated matter of fact. And he's been hurting you, you have broken bones that have healed incorrectly that nobody can account for. You have more bruises on your tiny little body than I have ever seen on a person and I have seen a lot in my 28 years as an R.N.! Nicole you have been in and out of conciousness for almost a week, you flatlined twice. Do you know what that means, flatline? She shook her head yes. Do you know that the internal damage that he did to you most people die from? Your liver was so damaged the doctors didn't know if they could save it or if you would need a transplant. Your lung was ruptured by your broken rib and you miscarried. Your chances of having a baby have been all but destroyed completley. Still she kept silent as tears ran down her face. Honey, please, I know you don't love him. I hear you cry out for someone else and his name is not Rick. Why? Why do you do this to yourself and to the people who love you?86

God she was so sick of the lies and the secrets. Sick of the beatings and seeing the hurt in her mothers eyes. She wanted so desperatley to just say it, to just tell this kind woman why she went through it. Why she prefered the pain over the shame. She looked up, seeing the compassion in Nancy's eyes she knew she could help her, she knew she could be trusted. She opened her mouth, inhaled a big breath of courage and just as she was ready to purge herself of the horrible secret that kept her trapped in his hell, she heard his voice call out " hey babe, ya feel better after your bath?" his voice full of syrupy sweet emotion. His eyes full of threatening hate, daring me to say one word, to make one accusation against him and he would tell all. She closed her eyes, no she said, actually I feel terrible. He turned to Nancy, get her something for the pain would ya he demanded. Leaning over to whisper in her ear he stops short and looks her in the eyes then quietly says "going once, going twice, sold." Her head starts to pound as if it has a memory all it's own and is expecting a hard smack any moment. He stands back up, lovingly moves her hair away from her forhead and says don't forget k, I'll be back to check on you in the morning. She stares at the ceiling, okay sure she says, void of emotion. Looking back at him before he walks away from her bedside for a moment she thinks she see's a hint of fear in his eyes.87

She watched as Rick walked out the door and wondered what happened to Gene. She fugured he probably felt as though he'd done his duty and was free to move on out of the drama that surrounded her.88

Nancy came rushing back into the room with what looked like a phone. She pushed the little portable night table away from the wall and plugged it in, handing her the other end she saw that it was indeed a phone. Surprized she took the reicever from Nancy and cautiously said Hello. It was her mom, the sound of her mothers voice brought tears to her eyes and she wondered if anyone had ever drown in their own tears.89

Hi honey, how ya feeling? I'm okay mom she answered. Well, you certainly scared the hell out of all of us, I know I'm sorry mom I don't want you to worry about me, you have enough to deal with already.90

She knew acting brave was not going to fool her mother and she didn't know how lonog she could keep it up. The truth was that she was scared, and she was tired of being scared.91

Mom? Yeah honey I'm still here. I need to tell you something she confessed. What is it? If it's about that Rick don't bother. I already know. She didn't know whether to be panicked or grateful. What did she know? she asked herself, was it that Rick beat her or that he kept her under his thumb by threatening to expose her dirty little shame. Maybe he told her? No, he couldn't have, he would never give up that little gem of knowledge. Not unless she forced him too.92

Mom? she said again checking to see if she was still on line. Yes dear go ahead, but I want to tell you something before you say what it is that you have to say. She waited for her mom to continue, holding her breath she wished she'd just say it and get it over with. Yeah, okay what? she asked. I am meeting with Rick tomorrow to discuss his future. But.. her mother cut her off. No But's I have decided enough is enough, her mothers words were hurried and her voice cracked as she went on telling her of her plans.93

I haven't been to the hospital in 2 days now because that son of bitch has been there and I can't stand the look of him. I talked to your uncle Micheal about this and we have decided that if you are not going to protect yourself then we will. You don't understand mom. I don't understand, your right. I know you don't love him, I also know you have been forced to spend time with people who you would never have spent time with because of Rick's debts. Oh God mom, was all she could say, how did she know, what did she know and who told her? Now I don't want you confessing any sins to me or to anyone else if they aren't your sins.94

Do you understand me? her mother demanded rather than asked. Yes ma, I understand. No I don't think you do.95

If a person has been beaten it's the beaters fault and anything that the victim does while under the threat of being beaten and possibly killed is also the beaters fault. She wasn't sure how her mother knew the things she knew but for the first time in 3 years felt safe. what did you want to tell me honey? her mom asked. Nothing ma, just that your right... and thank you. I love you. She hung up the phone and looked at Nancy through tears that hadn't ceased since she first heard the voice of her mother and asked her, ya got anything for the pain? Nancy smiled and injected the end of eth syringe into the I.V port. She waited for the nurse to leave the room and released the little plastic clip that determined the speed of the I.V. drip, allowing the Dilaudid to rush quickly into her veins. 96

The next morning she woke up and noticed the sun shining throughthe crack between the heavy drapes that covered the tiny still window in her room.97

Wow, sunshine, she couldn't remember the last time she noticed the sun. Should I open em? the sound of his voice made her jump. Sure she said, not looking at him. She didn't know what he wanted and was sure he knew what was coming later in the day if it hadn't already happend. You know I'm meeting with your mom for lunch don't ya? he asked. No what for? she lied, hoping he didn't know she had spoken to her last night. he made his way around the bed and sat down in front of her. His massive presence made her feel vulnerable. She flinched as he reached out to brush her hair out of her face, What? he said smiling at her as if she was over reacting. So, what do ya think your mom and me are gonna talk about? Probably me, she said with sarcastic tone. Yeah? he asked, and what do you think we are goingto discuss about you? I don't know Rick, I'm not a psychic. He lunged forward and grabbed her face in huge hands, squeezing just hard enough to leave small bruises where he fingers were. I think we're gonna talk about her daughters bad behavior he said through his yellow teeth. She jerked away from his grap and lay back in her bed, looking for the nurse call buzzer that was on her bed before she fell asleep last night. He smiled again showing smoke stained teeth and asked her what she was looking for as he pulled the cord that was connected to her bed from his pocket. Doesn't look like you have a safety buzzer after all, guess that means your pretty much gonna have to deal with your boyfriend. Ya know the one who loves you regardless, regardless of vile acts you have performed on various individuals. She wanted so badly to yell out but she wasn't sure who would come and if it would just make it worse later. Tears began stream down her cheeks, Awe, C'mon now babe, you know I'll never leave you no need to cry. He reached his hand under the blanket that seperated them. Come on now, give your man some sugar to take to lunch with him, she turned her head and closed her eyes. Feeling his dirty hand press against her thigh she squeezed her legs tighter together and tried to sound disappointed as she warned him someone could come in any moment. He pulled his back out from between her thighs and for a second she thought she was free. He backhanded her across her face causing blood to trickle from her lip.98

Now, see what ya did, he said as if she spilled some milk or broke a nail. Rick! Come one, I'm in the fuckin hospital ya know, I'm not exactly feeling up to it. Bitch! he snarled as he grabbed her hair. Pulling her from the bed the catheter in her hand ripped out, blood started flowing furiousley from the tiny hole in her vein. Oblivious to where he was he smacked her again, knocking forward over the bed, he reached into his coat pocket and grabbed the nurse call cord and wrapped around her throat from behind. As he strangled her she began to black out and was thankful that she wouldn't be concious for yet another of his love making sessions. Suddenly he released the tightness of the cord and her lungs filled with life giving oxygen bringing her back to the horrors that awaited her. She felt him pull out of her and heard him swear" the bitch is on the fuckin rag". Get in bed he ordered, and keep your fuckin yap shut ya got it! I've been through hell with these fuckin yay hoo pigs trying to tell me how to handle my personal business. I tell ya what, he went on as though nothing happend, as if he had no reason to fear being caught. As if he had done nothing wrong. I am about sick and fuckin tired of you layin in this fucking bed all day pretending like your queen of fucking England. She climbed back into the bed and pressed a wash cloth against the bleeding vein in her hand. The ache in her back was coming back and now it was climbing uo into her neck again.99

She lay there as stil as possible listening to his rant until he finally left for his meeting with her mom. 100

She was torn between laying there and letting fate take over or summoning help, it seemed to her that something wanted her dead but then again it seemed something else just as powerful wanted her alive. She decided she'd be a bigger disappointment should die and started toward the hall. She didn't know what she say yet but she would figure that out later. As she got to the door she saw Nancy talking to the nurse that had been taking care of her after Nancy went home for the night. Nancy! she yelled.101

Oh My God, call Dr. Dillinger, Nicole my God what happend to you? Where's your I.V.? is all she remebered hearing before she fell into Nancy's arms feeling like she was safe again, she allowed the blackness that had been summoning her, promising relief to take over.102

She woke up about an hour later with her mother at her side. The pain was gone. Rick was gone. Her mother smiled at her, happy to see your finally awake, how ya feeling? I don't know, how should I feel? she asked. Well, I suppose you have a couple of choices, said her mom. Oh yeah, whats that? You can celebrate your new freedom or you can stay in the past. Freedom? she asked, yeah freedom. She thought about it for a minute and then asked what do ya mean by free mom? What is he in jail? Cuz if you think him spending time in jail is in any way my freedom... her smiled a 'I know a secret' kinda smile and assured her she had nothing more to worry about, Just get better will ya she said as she reached out and took her daughters hand into her own and gave her a squeeze. Oh and promise me you'll talk to the doctors when they want to talk, no more of this martyr shit, got it? Yeah alright I got it she said as she watched her mom leave for home. She thought about her brother and sister and wondered what they've been told about all this. She knew it was hard for her mother to juggle her career, her two young children and her adult daughters crisis. She was grateful for her mother and teh strength that she never seemed to run out of.103

The next 3 days passed without any dramatic events and her doctors felt good about her test results so they decided it was okay for her to be discharged so lomg as she had a safe place to go. The fact that she needed asafe place to go told her he was still lurking around. The police had spent her final 3 days at the hospital camped outside her door, Rick had finally crossed the line, raping her while she was in critical care unit was a bold move. Bold enough to earn him a few felony warrants. The police thought he left the state but she knew better. He had no money and he didn't know anybody in another state, so unless he met someone in the last few days to take him in and get him out of town then hewas still here.Probably holed up in some sleeze bag motel feeling sorry for himself, maybe he'll get depressed enough to kill himself this time. She wondered if it was an unforgivable sin to wish someone dead, her catholic upbringing never failed to rear it's ugly head in the most inconvienant times. Reminding her of Gods plan, she chuckled to herself, God's plan huh? she said outloud as she looked to the ceiling. What else ya got for me? 104

She still wasn't sure who was picking her up or even where she was going but she was sure she was becoming aggitated by the parade of police following her. Whoever was coming had better hurry up or she just might start thinking of her own escape, she threatend the Sgt. who had taken it upon himself to act as counselor.105

She fucking hated cops and she was sure they were aware of her feelings, she had told them enough. Especially Sgt. Thacker, nice looking enough and he had been trying to be her friend but she couldn't help but remember the encounter she'd had with a few of Everett's finest not too long ago. As she sat in the wheel chair in front of the hospital waiting for her ride she thought about the looks on the faces of the cops and all the snide remarks they made to her and whoever else was interested the last time she was admitted to the hospital, due to one the beatings Rick felt she had coming. She couldn't help but remember the lack of humanity and the calloused jokes they shared with one another at her expense, acting as though she wasn't there and couldn't hear their biting words. Now here they are, she thought as she looked around her at all the assholes who were assigned to her safety. She was beaten preety badly last time but she was sure she rercognized about four or five of them, if not by their faces then by their voices. How do ya tell a whore from a bitch? she recalled one of them asking the other brothers in blue. Ya don't, was his clever answer and they all laughed like he said something worthy of a line in a comedy sitcom. 106

You doin alright? she looked up from her lap and saw the most beautiful pair of soft blue eyes she had ever seen. Gene, oh my gosh what are you doing here? she asked as he bent over and hugged her. Just coming to check on my favorite damsel in distress he joked. No but seriously, how are you feeling? Okay she said, she wanted to ask him if he knew of the latest attack but she thought better to leave it alone. He wasn't letting on he knew and she prefered to believe he didn't. I woulda been up to see ya but they wouldn't let anyone in unless they were immediate family. How did you know I was being discharged today? Your mom was his simple reply. What do you mean my mom? she asked suspiciously. I called her last night to ask her how you were doing and after about a half an hour worth of interigation she told me you'd be getting out of teh hospital today so long as all the labs came back okay. Wow, I can't believe she talked to you. He sighed and shook his head, the only reason she talked to me is because I know your uncle Micheal and he put in a word, and I'm a very charming guy when I wanna be. They both laughed, how do you know my uncle Michael? He started to answer and she topped him short, Never mind! She said as she put her hand up as if she was signaling a mack truck to stop before it got any closer. I don't need to know. I'm just glad you came by to see me off. With a puzzled look he asked, See you off? No No No, I'm bringing you home. HuH? what do ya mean? Home where, with who?107

Home to your home, Your mom didn't tell ya? No, she tells me nothing she just does what she wants, it's a control thing. Yeah I can see that in your mom, but she loves you and she want's you to be safe from Rick.108

Yeah I know, but I am not the same little girl that ran away a few years ago ya know, I would like to be treated with a little respect. he smiled gently, I know, he said. Your mom bought a duplex over in Arlington, your gonna stay there. Oh yeah? she asked.109

Yep! he announced satisfied with himself that he had the information she wanted. And who is my neighbor or do I have one yet? That's the best part! he said, leaving her to ask of him for more information regarding her life. Are ya gonna make me beg or are ya gonna be a gentleman and just tell me? He said nothing, just continued grinning. OH NO! she exclaimed. Not my uncle Michael, please tell me it's not my uncle! It's not your uncle. Well, who then? she asked enjoying the little game they were playing. Me. Her heart stopped, You? she looked as shocked as she felt. Yeah, me, what's wrong with that? he asked in mock defense. Nothing, absolutley nothing, I'm just surprised is all. Considering you're Rick's friend. His face turned a little red and he looked away from her toward the parking lot. I'm not his friend, in fact I'm sure he has no friends left. You ready to go? He asked upbruptly. Oh so your'e my cabby too? she teased. He didn't laugh, his mood had changed and she sensed his tension. Sure, she said quietly, ready when you are. From behind her she heard a mans voice, I need to talk to you before you go. She knew that voice, it was him, the one in the emergency room who knew Gene wasn't her boyfriend. The one she recognized from another time.110

She didn't turn to see who he was, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. She just wanted to move on with her life already and put the past few years behind her.111

Looking at Gene she realized the man wasn't talking to her, he was talking to Gene. Well officer, Gene replied with a bit of sarcasm, I'm in a hurry at the moment and I have a job to do so I guess that means unles your'e gonna arrest me you can make an appointment like every other civilized human fucking being does when they want to talk with someone they aren't familair with. Civilized? she heard the mystery cop ask, you'd know a whole lot about civilized wouldn't ya? Gene's body stiffend as he moved toward the handles of my wheel chair, You have a nice day sir, I gotta get back to work so if ya don't mind movin outta my fuckin way I'll be gettin on with it now. As Gene grabbed the handles of her chair he leaned forward to release the brakes, she turned to see what he was doing and their eyes met, he winked at her and gave her that shy little smile that she was so fond of.112

The car ride to her new house was tense, she could tell he was deep in thought and she assumed it was over the cop at the hospital. She was also a little worried, not about the cops but about what was going to happen once they got to the new house. It was hard enough getting her into the car with the help of the two cops that followed them to his car. She couldn't help but wonder how he planned on getting her back out of the car and into the house. She hoped it would be with as little embarassment as possible, for both of them. The ride was long and she was geting tired again, must be the morphine they sent her home with she thought as she sat staring out the window. Itwas raining and she loved the rain, she asked gene if there was a firplace in the duplex. He smiled and shook his head yes. She smiled in acknowledgment and closed her eyes, thinking of how nice it would be to sit with him in front the fireplace and get to know him. Get to know who he realy was and what he was about. 113

She felt the car slow down and lifted her head to look around. Wow, I must have dozed off, she said. Dozed huh? more like drug induced comadozed, they both laughed. Well we're here, home sweet home.114

Home sweet home she repeated, Do I have any of my furniture from the old place here? Nope, your mom thought it best to leave it all behind, I did however go with your mom and uncle and we grabbed you some of your clothes. She didn't say anything, she was disappointed that she wouldn't have any furniture and she knew she would sound ungrateful if she tried to speak. Your mom washed your clothes for ya and your uncle Michael and I spent all day Saturday getting your clothes put away and your bed ready. A bed, she thought, well at least she doesn't have to sleep on the floor and she couldn't wait to get into some of her sweats and big comfy shirt. They both sat there in the car, staring at the little grey duplex with grey trim. Not much of a yard but your mom said you didn't like yard work anyway, she laughed telling him her mother was right. Whadya say we get you into the house and into bed? She looked at him and smiled, how about into the house anyway? His face reddend as he realized the implication, C'mon let's go he said as he got out of the car and popped the trunk.115

She watched in the rearview mirror as he wrestled with her wheel chair. HEY, she hollered at him, waving her hand at him to come close so she could tell him something. He walked over to the window and waited for her to say what she had to say. What are ya doing? she asked him. He looked at her confused, what do you mean what am I doing? I'm getting your wheel chair out of trunk so we can get you into the house. Hmmm she said outloud, thinking for a moment about how she was going to tell him that she could walk. The only reason for the wheel chair in the first place was because it's hospital policy that all paitents leave in a wheel chair. I can walk, she said flatly.116

What? You can walk? yeah, I can walk. I just cant bend or lift anything but I can walk short distances.117

He stood there in the rain looking at her as if he wasn't sure she was teling him the truth. Well, he said, I guess that means we stole the wheel chair. Oh no I didn't steal anything she exlaimed laughing at the idea of someone actually stealing a wheel chair.118

Me niether he said, the cops loaded the chair while I was loading your suitcase. They both laughed, thinking of the two keystone cops loading a stolen wheelchair. Alright then come on already, let's get inside I'm soaked he said as bent over lifting her from the car. His strength was comforting and she was a little amazed at his ease in lifting her from the car. She wasn't a big girl but she wasn't a waif either. Don't hurt your back, she teased him. Hurt my back? Are you kidding? You weigh what.. 80-85 pounds? Not hardly she laughed at his attempt to flatter himself with his absurd guess at her wieght. Try 140lb wise guy. No, he said, all the joking gone from his voice. You weigh 85lb. How could she? How could he know that? she asked him. Your discharge instruction give specific directions on your med dosage and because they want you gaining another 50lbs I'm supposed to keep on top of changing your dose as you gain weight. Her face turned red, she hadn't realized she had lost that much weight. 119

Once inside she reminded him she could walk and heset her down. She looked around the living room amazed, who...how... where did all this come from? Your uncle Michael, he furnished both sides as a form of payment forsome debt he owed to your mom. It's beautiful she cried. Gene reached out and put his arm protectivley around her shoulders, you deserve it, he told her.120

She moved toward the couch and he hurried ahead of her to get the blankets ready. Your mom said you'd probably rather sleep in the living room so I made sure you had blankets and pillows out here he explained as he helped her onto the couch. You need anything else? he asked. Yeah actually would you mind geting me a glass of water or something, I need to take a pill. Sure, he left for the kitchen, would you rather a soda or something? We got ya some apple juice and it looks like some tomato juice too. Yeah sure I'd love a soda she yelled back. he came back into the living room with a glass of cola and set it on a T.V. tray next to her. Thank You, she said hoping he would stay. ya wanna watch a movie or something? Sure, if your up to it, she thought she heard a little bit of excitement in his voice as he answered her. Whadya wanna watch she asked as she flipped through the channels with the remote? I don't care, something good he shrugged. How about Pet Planet? Yeah I love that show. They both stared at the television, both very much aware of the other, neither having any idea what was being said and done on the T.V. 121

She reached for her glass of soda to take another pain pill. They both saw it coming, the T.V. tray was tipping and with it everything had slid off onto the floor. She fumbled with the glass as she tried to catch the tipping tray and lost control of it as well.122

Instantly she panicked and withdrew, flinching she brought her knees up to her chest instinctivley to protect herself from the blow.123

He looked at her, feelings of rage took hold as his heart broke for her, God damn Nicole, what did he do to you? he said moreto himself than to her.124

He knew what Rick had done, or all he needed to anyway, but seeing her so scared was shocking. Just seconds before she was a peaceful, funny woman. Seeing her body so broken was painful for him but the emotional damage was more than he could take. hewas unsure of what to say to her, he moved slowly to the kitchen to get a dish towel and asked her if she was alright. She was quiet, no response, no sign that she was even still there. He came back into the living room with another glass of soda for her and the towel to soak up the first one. Hey, you still with me? he said softly. She looked up at him with tears streaming silently down her face, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... He stopped her from finishing her apology, angry with Rick for damaging her he assured her she need not apologize to him, or anyone else, ever! he stated sternly careful not to frighten her. I'm sorry he said, I don't mean to scold you I just want you to know your safe. She knew she was, she knew it without a doubt and it didn't matter to er that he had been to prison. There was nothing anyone could ever tell her about him that would make her fear him, not him, not ever. She smiled at him, telling him so with her eyes. He knew at that point he would never be free of her, she now imprisoned him in a prison like no other that he had ever been incarcerated in and it felt right.125

Throughout the following 6 months he stayed close, always keeping one if not both eyes on her. He spent his days over at her side of the duplex playing cards and teaching her how to play Ace Duce on the backgammon board. They talked about their childhoods and she learned he had brothers and sisters that lived nearby. She'd asked him a few times about his family but she thought by the way he always quickly changed the subject that it was an unpleasant topic for him.126

They were both restless during the night and she often wondered if he dreamed of her the way she did of him. She knew he had strong feelings for her and she was sure he knew she felt the same for him but her fear of rejection kept her from talking to him about it. There was still a small part of her that was unsure and thought maybe he was just a nice guy, maybe she was reading more into his attention than there really was.
Her health was rapidly improving and she was enjoying the time they spent together, she hoped he would stay with her after they caught Rick but she also hoped they'd never catch him so she'd be sure he would.
She had another appointment in the morning with the specialst,her final one she hoped. He would determine if she was where she needed to be health wise and that everything had healed nicely.
Her regular family doctor thought she was a 100%, in fact he had told her that her body was aided by angels. Nobody thought she would be able to have kids, or if she did manage to become pregnant someday it would be with the help of the medical world.
During the first few appointments with her doctors they had all agreed that teh scar tissue would be amass, that she should not expect to have a child of her own. She really wasn't too upset in the beginning but the more she had gotten to know Gene the more she found herself daydreaming of having a family, a husband and a couple of kids to love. That loved her back.
She was standing naked in front of the closet which was covered in mirrors, looking at her body. Checking on the scars that had taken up space on the outside of her body.127