I am going to watching the sun rise, tendrils of fog dissappearing under it's rays. I am going to life alone, without my brothers to keep me happy and insane. I am going to bed, where I contemplate everything that has happened today. I am going to joy, serenity, sadness. I am going to watching TV for lack of a better, more interesting thing to do. I am going. I am going where the sky meats the sea, away on the horizon. I am going to shopping, to get yet another book to read. I am going to sleeping where my dreams become my reality. I am going where hazy rain melts everything together. I am going to elsewhere, anywhere where I am alone. I am going to freedom. I am going to PEACE.
Author notes
I also wrote this one in writing class today.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Nice! I like the repetitive "I am going ...", it's almost like a mantra after a while.
This poem-thingy also touched me in a special way, since I have a younger sister who was left "alone" when I moved out, a bit over a year ago. She's complained about how boring it got after I left, so this could just as well have been written by her.
I'm not sure about the ending though, you're going to freedom and peace? Makes it sound like you're glad to be alone, while the rest of it doesn't. But that is probably because I interpret it in a personal way.
Still, very nice.
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I like how you had "watching" instead of "watch," and using that technique for the rest of your sentences. It's weird and yet it gives me a feeling like each is a Place you're going to, a destination, not just an activity, something more than an action. But what's this about living without your brothers, eh? We'll always be here! Haha.
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but your not living with me, you're living somewhere else!
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That's what you think.
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that's what I KNOW... you are not living with me, I think i would have noticed if you were...
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