They would tell me, "Be very careful or one day you will wake up 1
dead." I always laughed at the concept until it happened. Dead was 2
simple, one moment I was, and the next, I wasn't. The waking up part 3
was the difficult bit. It was as though my thoughts had been scattered4
all over space and it was a long time before I realized that a 5
molecule way over there was a part of me and even longer to convince6
it that we needed to be back together. Oh well, looks like I am going7
to be late today.8
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
well written
A bizarre look at the process of dying. I had hoped that when we passed on there would be someone there to guide us. Sad it took you that long to put together the parts.
Well written
thanks,
Talia -
Lmao@Mcandrew This was so funny. Dead at one moment and on the way to work the next. I must say that was a good excuse for being late you know. I couldn't come in I had a stiff body you know rigor mortis dead things take time to come back to life you know. It's a good thing no one caught you in one of your dead moments you'd have gotten embombed then what? Just kidding nice write.
StillReal -
well if you're going to be late, that is a damned good excuse
-
Interesting concept. I really enjoyed the descriptions and the imagery that you used. Very well written, and good luck on the contest!
-
That's a great concept, and a very humourous way to finish it off! Plus that's a very imaginative way to describe being dead. Well done, and best of luck!
-
What a fabulous punchline. What a perfect excuse for being late. I love the double entendre. Excellent. Good luck in the contest.
-
Imaginative and witty...I love this! The humanity of your humor has me still smiling. Good luck in the contest!
I hope all is well with you and your family.
-
Glad you were able to pull yourself together long enough to piece together this write.
Exceedingly well conceptualized.
-
Using death as humor can only work if you wake up scattered...lol
Very well done.'
Sam
-
Still like this one....
-
I love this! Now this is purely a masterpiece. You have started me off with giggles already this morning. I love the way you ended this. I can't even say anything that would add to what has already been said here. This is gold! Great job! Good luck in the contest.
-
an interesting take on a very familiar line... good job
billy -
Excellent....yet again
Very different for you, John, but I still loved it. You made me chuckle, and I realized that I'll find those difficult mornings a bit less difficult from now on, because I'm sure to think of this poem as I'm struggling to drag those molecules of consciousness together. And, it will make me smile.
-
I like it, I guess I should call in dead to work tomarrow, but alas I need the cash. Great write.
-
I enjoyed it! Good concept, and great finish!
What else can I say that others have not already said?
Good job and good luck! -
This write got me thinking.. Were you writting this from the point of view of another molecule, and then realizing that with out that other half you could not survive? OR did I miss it? LOL. It's early here, maybe I need to read this again when I am more awake, John. Hehehe. I, too, really enjoyed the last line.
-
I absolutely adore the ending line of this.As always your writing is such a pleasure to read.Best of luck and thanks so much for taking me up on my challenge.
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Now that's interesting. What a thought...
Spooky really.
Well done.
Pat -
Maybe I'm missing the point here, but I don't see humor in this story. What I see is a spritual feel in it; a near-death experience, or few seconds wandering in the death or even the denial of being death.
I saw (again) the movie The House of Spirits, maybe that is why my thoughts are going in this direction.
Very good write and all that in only 100 words!
Mari
-
Too funny. I think I wake up dead everyday. Or at least I feel that way.
Nicely done.
-
Looks like all of us so far have elected to go with humor. Good job - and an eye-catching title.
Sherlock
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
