Carey opened the door to her apartment, her new cat in her hands. The cat had black fur that was so soft and sleek that it almost seemed to gleam in the moonlight. The kitten was a newborn and a crazy old lady had been giving them away for free. There always did seem to be one crazy old cat lady in every town. She had babbled on about how she needed to get rid of these kittens before they killed all the rest of her precious little cats. Carey had stopped by a pet store on the way home and bought the type of cat food that the old lady recommended the little kitten eat. She poured it into a small food bowl. She left the cat alone while she went off in search of her other cat, Travis. She found him eventually. He was curled up into a ball under the covers of Carey's bed. She picked up the big fluff ball of a cat and carried him over to where the new little kitten was. The kitten had already finished what little food was given to him.
"Travis, this is our new little friend Dren. I got him from the crazy old lady today. Will you be nice with him?" She asked Travis the cat. Travis didn't respond, but slowly backed away from this new kitten Dren as if scared and afraid that running may provoke a chase.
"Come on Travis, be nice." Carey hefted Travis over next to Dren. Dren gave a soft meow and Travis a doleful one. Carey rolled her eyes and left them in the room to change out of her clothes and into her night gown. Travis began to paw away from Dren and after Carey. Dren however seemed to have other plans. He ran in front of Travis's path and cut him off. Dren's pupils narrowed and his green eyes turned red. His teeth slid down and turned into curved fangs dripping with saliva. The shiny black fur became disheveled and stood on end. Dren's claws came out and scraped the floor as he slowly and deliberately paced over to Travis. Travis decided not to risk staying anywhere near this monster and bolted across the apartment with Dren fast on his tail, but it was all in vain. Dren pounced on Travis's back and with his claws scratched at his eyes, blinding Travis and causing him to fall over and slide across the floor. This left Travis's soft underbelly exposed. Dren lunged at it, claws poised to slice Travis open like a thanksgiving turkey. Travis managed to regain his balance though and side stepped Dren who missed Travis by a hair. Travis jumped at Dren now in attack and managed to bite the demon kitten in the back fairly hard. Dren roared out in pain as he tore away from the cat, blood dripping from his back. He was through playing with Travis now. It was time for the kill. Dren ran at Travis with such speed that there was no chance to avoid or defend against it. Dren's fangs were around Travis's throat and Dren's claws in Travis's side and underbelly. It was all over now. Travis's blood spilled from his neck and onto the floor. Dren licked it up from the floor and then straight from the source. Once Dren was done feeding, he pushed Travis's body into Carey's bed and went over to the room where She was changing. Dren turned back into his original cute little self and it wasn't long until Carey came out of the closet with her nightgown on and saw Dren sitting there in front of her. She bent over and picked him up.1
"Oh, you are so cute. I'm so glad I was able to get you from that crazy old lady. Do you want to sleep in my bed with me tonight?" Dren meowed pleasantly in agreement. Carey smiled at this and went over to her bed and saw the lump under the sheets of her bed. "Is that you Travis? If you wanted to sleep with me too, all you had to do was ask like Dren." Carey joked as she pulled back the covers to reveal Travis's corpse, bleeding, stiff, and contorted. Carey gasped in shock. Dren's eyes turned red again, his fangs slid down and sunk into Carey's arm.2
A contest entry
- Cute and Fuzzy Bunnies.... of Horror by Mallig.
225 points, ended October 13, 2007, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ~*~Hybrids~*~ (Options) by Iridescent Love.
450 points, ended March 27, 2008, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Great job with this one! Bad, bad kitty! This is an engaging story, I cared what happened to the characters. Good description of the action. Poor Travis... Nice ending too. Thanks for entering my contest!

P.S., A few paragraph breaks in the beginning would make this easier on the eyes
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Interesting story! I liked how you took such a cute innocent creature and turned it into something terrifying. Very imaginative!

Welcome to Storywrite, I hope you have a lot of fun on here
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Alright.
My dear, if this weren't a huge block of text without a single blank line in sight, I'd probably be able to give you a better review. ^_~ Formatting issues aside...
What I liked:
The concept, the pacing, the fight. Goddamn, I'm never gonna look at a kitten the same way again. I have much trouble writing fight scenes, so I thought the way you laid out the skirmish between Dren and Travis was pretty well done. (For a moment, I was confused as to who had bitten who; you might want to look into your wording there.) Your pacing was spot on, and you kept the moves coming right when they oughta. Good work, there.
What didn't quite work:
Formatting, babe. Good story, not so much with the paragraphing. Reading it aloud, I found a few 'padded sentences' lying around -- it would help if you combed through it just once and removed/reworded some things to make your sentences more concise. The shorter the sweeter, I say, but that's more a stylistic matter than anything. My opinion's good as yours. The last line was a little clumsy, IMHO, but it could've just been the way I read it. No big.
Overall, I liked. Fun read. :3 Keep up the good work.


