I run blindly through the woods. The briars are nagging at my clothes. The branches are scrapping my tough skin and pulling at my knotted hair. I run not knowing where I am or going. I follow a path in front of me. 1
I stop all out of breath. I look around me. There is a little stream bubbling, twisting around the tress. Soft sunlight floods into the woods. A bird sings his song from a tree above me. Then I see a little sparkle, one that would come from a gem.2
I walk over to where I saw it. There lying on the ground was an amethyst. I pick it up and examine it. Then the ground beneath me opens up into a vast opening. I start to fall. I glide through darkness twisting and turning. Then I see a light below me. I fall forever it seems getting no closer to the light. Then I hit something hard but soft at the same time.3
I look around me and see that I’m in a meadow. Grass raised above my head waving in the soft breeze. I stand up and look around. There is a herd of wild horses grazing at the other end. There is a forest to my left. the sky is saphire blue and crystal clear.4
I head for the forest following a path that seemed to appear out of now were. The birds chirp a song that makes me feel peaceful. I forget my home and why I ran away. I forget the horrible beating a get there. I day dream as I explore this perfect place. 5
The woods flooded with warm sunlight. Flowers fill the air with a wonderful fragrant. Squirrels ran around chasing each other. Snakes hiss and slither away from the path. Deer come prancing across the path and stop to look at me.6
“Is that a human? Look at her dirty and ripped clothes.”7
“She could be the one to live here.”8
I look around to see who the voice belonged to and found no one.9
“Who are you that speak of me? Show yourself if you dare.”10
“It is I the deer.” The deer with great antlers steps forward, “I was the one who spoke. Forgive us for our curiosity, but we never seen another human here for 100 years.” 11
“Oh! It is the deer. How quire. I must be dreaming.”12
“You are not dreaming. You are in the world of peace and beauty.”13
“I already realized the beauty of this place and how it is so peaceful. Please tell me, though, how do you speak. Where I come from animals do not talk.”14
“Here anything is possible. Since there was no humans to talk us animals get to talk instead.”15
“How did I get here? I simply can’t remember anything from before.”16
“The great amethyst brought you. It is told who ever finds the amethyst and picks it up will find the passage way to our world.”17
“Oh. Well is it alright if I explore some more?”18
“Absolutely. Feel free to do what ever you like.”19
So off I went down the path. I wonder how such a wonderful place could be so. Then after about 10 minutes a come to a clearing. There was a little brook flowing through the clearing. It seemed to sing a song. Fresh grass lust with life grew in the little clearing. On the other side of the brook sitting against a tree sleeping was a young man.20
He looked about her age. He was strong but slim. His hair was brown and came down to the back of his neck. He seemed so peaceful laying there asleep.21
I walked over the clearing to the brook. I took I sip and found stones across the brook. I cross the brook and walk over to where he laid and looked at him. His face was clean and soft. His skin was perfect. His lips were delicate. Then he started to awake. I ran to the bushes hoping not get caught. 22
Author notes
There is more to this story so I have took the time to add the next 4 chapters:
http://storywrite.com/story/113479 http://storywrite.com/story/113789# http://storywrite.com/story/113811
A contest entry
- Your Best Stuff by stardust3492.
575 points, ended February 22, 2008, 22 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
could you see it and what did you like about it?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I liked the general idea. I think you could fix some of the grammatical errors and add just a bit more description to polish it off, but it is very good already. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Interesting
Nice start. It definitely needs work...there were some spelling/grammar erros, but who doesn't have those? (= I'm sure you could weed them out if you read over it again.
I liked the idea, and there was some nice imagery in here...I liked the "soft sunlight" line I could imagine where the character was very well.
I think this would flow a lot better if you tried it in the third person...just a thought.
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EXECUTED AND WONDERFULL..am utterly at ur mercy..of to read more soon


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U are really good and write well for being young - excellent job
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hey. hee hee. I just noticed ive commented on this b4. ^.^
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I really like the idea of this story so far. ^.^ u got me absorbed, and I htoughroly enjoyed myself reading it. I will go read the next chapter now, to see whats up with the guy.
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:)
This was really good. Could you please cahnge the font or background because it really hurts my eyes. sorry, anyway it was good

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Awesome begining. It really sucked me in. Hee hee. I liked how you rymed:
Oh, it is just a deer, how Queer. Awesome discripitions. Great job!!! I can't wait to read more!!!! -
Two words
Loved it

1 - 9 of 9







