The Curse of the House of Presidentbush

The year was AD 2444. It was nearly two-and-a-half centuries after the two presidential term limitation was revoked. There had been a Presidentbush in the Whitehouse for well over four hundred years now.

The tradition stretched far back into the dim, dark recesses of political history - nobody now was even sure of when the first Presidentbush had reigned. Most historians pointed to the year 2001, but others claimed that there was compelling evidence of a Presidentbush as far back as 1989. Regardless of who was correct, it was still an exceedingly long time for any political dynasty. Since those early days, there had been many George Presidentbushes, several Barbara Presidentbushes, a couple of Johnellis Presidentbushes, even a pair of Jenna Presidentbushes and a Laura Presidentbush. However, after the disastrous result of generations of in-breeding (instituted in order to perpetuate the Presidentbush name) became apparent to even the dimmest of the notoriously dim Presidentbush-supporters, new blood was sorely needed.

In 2200, the kingmakers in the Presidentbush campaign committee managed to find a fresh face to propel the Presidentbush franchise into the 23rd century. Mulberry Presidentbush XXIV, a rather tenuous, supposed distant cousin of the second Jenna Presidentbush, was nominated for the Whitehouse and, as a vote for the Presidentbush Party was (as per Amendment 278C of the Constitution) worth five (5) times the number of votes for any other party, Mulberry won the expected landslide victory. This was in spite of the hugely popular "But it's just a shrub, for God's sake!" advertising campaign at the time.

In 2325, Ivy Presidentbush was sworn in as the first Presidentbush-For-Life (under Amendment 555X of the Constitution).

In 2409, the current Presidentbush, Hickory, was inaugurated. But now, some 35 years into his (its, I guess would be a more appropriate pronoun) term of office, it was becoming obvious that this might be the last ever Presidentbush. No successor had so far been found, despite a decade of searching. Sad but true, Presidentbushes were becoming extinct.

In a prominent government think-tank, the idea finally emerged of creating a Hickory Presidentbush clone and grafting onto it the recently-uncovered DNA of one of the original George Presidentbushes. Whilst the idea of a plant-human hybrid clone horrified most right-thinking citizens, drastic measures were needed to continue the Presidentbush line in the Whitehouse, and so, drastic measures were taken.

The first half-dozen attempts at the hybrid clone were miserable failures. They turned out more like vegetables than even the 2001 Presidentbush had been.

But then, along came Hybridclone Presidentbush VII. The scientists gazed slackjawed at the hideous abomination that resulted from their heinous experimentation, then turned to each other, grinned vacuously and drooled.

"Bubba, ah think we done got ourself a winner!"

"Ah think you is right, Billybob! Oooo-weeee!"

And so, through this single fiendish act - through the accursed, unthinking intervention of science - there would now be guaranteed Presidentbushes in the Whitehouse for all eternity. May the Almighty have mercy on us all!

The end.