I die softly

I die softly.

I'm still walking.

Your the one who killed me with rocks.

Throwing them at me.

You poked me in the eye with your fingernail.

I die softly.

I'm still walking

Please tell me your questions

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1 - 5 of 5

  • sri-ganesh
    December 8, 2007
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    My comments got lost

    This is another overdone wounded heart piece. What does it mean to "die softly"? You spelled "you're" wrong in the third line. If someone killed you, then you're dead, so it should be "died". If they threw rocks at you, did they then run up and poke you in the eye. Disjointed visuals. Try again.


  • sri-ganesh
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Boring


  • Ockigo Hyuuga
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is one if the stories about me. so that means take it off NOW!!!!


  • lovableReese
    October 7, 2007
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    i like it line 5 is a little wierd though.


  • Siby Anan
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh come on, you can be a bit more specific than that

    But, wow, she's dying softly...and she's still walking.

    Wow. Great job ^_^

1 - 5 of 5