More than Real

The Deep, burgundy sheets aroused and filled me with their anachronism, waking something deep and primitive….The cloths of yester years hanging softly and ever so delicately, where a small breath would seem to blow it all away...1

The antiqueness of the bed, the musty older laments laid heavy in the room, making me feel the lost necessities of an old home.. my home.Strecthing out in hopes to relax tense muscles from tense dreams, I opened my eyes relcutently. I felt it was not time to wake yet, all senses almost numbed to the point of nothingness...that nothing everyone should be aware of..the nothingness that threatens to take us back to its core from the very first breath of life to the last when it has it's way.
I could tell it was around noon. Tch, who needed any kind of clock or calander to help invite more ripping,roaring change before it was nesscary? My body was more primitive and more suited to it's instincts; way better then anything this modern world could offer; The perfect model with forgotten or unknown aspects that only one like myself know or can comprehend...2

The fingers of pain crept slowly up my sides and emerged to my chest and wraped tightly around the lungs and ribs; head starting to cloud up and slip into a mass of dark voices whispering in languages old. I dug my face into the bed’s royal Victorian sheets, wishing the pain would seize to destroy, just pause long enough for slumber. It was fire, burning me from the inside out and coldness ran up and down my spine in waves. “No.” I rasped,griting my teeth,” no… please, not again…” But I knew what was coming thyat running was in vain. The memories started to flood my reality and soon, I was ripped from my confined and comfortable home to some where dank and dark and unforgiving; some where I was a slave to only redo everything all over again and again,to another time,where I face HIM every time. I loathed the curse of my blood and only hoped that I could simply let be back in the furthest depths of mind where I could finally lay down in peace…3

The smell of dead leaves filled my nose thickly with a musk I would soon learn as an old friend. “Hope!” Sarah yelled, “Hope! Where are you? We have to go! It’s getting to night fall and our father and mother shall be furious and horribly worried if we don’t get back home!”4

My head throbed and swayed, my sense of direction was shot. I opened my eyes and looked at the graying twilight.'I'm not Hope...I'm Lucinda...I don't have parents any more..what the heck is going on?'I couldn't think straight.. 'I have to stay focused this time..so I can stop myself from- argh!' I grabbed my skull. I swear it felt like it was about to explode while a thousand pictures flashed through my head.'Thousands of lives..thousands of deaths... can't seem to hold on...' A tear fell down my cheek. Then suddenly all the pressure subsided. I sighed deeply out. 'What was that about I wonder.'Stirring around, I slowly stood from the earthen bed of fall leaves, almost falling over a couple of times slightly sick.
I slowly straightened up and looked up to my sister Sarah.
She was always so beautiful, with crystal blue eyes that screamed inocence(matching their owner), large plump lips and a smile that warmed the coldest of hearts even if it was just a little.5

I registered the words slowly then responded lazily, hopeing that she would stay a bit longer “I heard you sis and I am aware.... But, I have business to handle.” She looked at me horrified and anoyed then pulled my ear back and said it again louder this time. I winced. " I'm not death you know!" I slapped her hand away from my ear,"You know I have to find HIM, once and for all"6

She gasped and came closer, clearly distressed.“You’re not talking about-“7

“Correct." I intrupted her.She threw her hands up in the air in defeat and started to pace. I watched her with a sad look on my face. My only sister, the only person I have been ever able to confide in doesn't even believe me about what has happened.I clenched my hands into tiny pale fists. "I shall prove what I saw, I felt, I KNOW, is a reality, to you, to everyone. Even if you decide to forsaken me here and now as the others have, I still have to,for my state of being.”I turned my back to her. No matter what any one says I know it was real. I heard her sigh softly.8

“ I told you they-"9

"HIM"10

"Fine HIM, is a silly myth, a bed time story told to childern to scare them into listening into their parents. Regardless of how much you think you know, it's only that and that only. Nothing more. Be thankful we haven’t been caught and trailed like several others,who weren't even like us in the begin with and your behavior as of late- ”11

"What do you mean my behavior?" I narrowed my eyes at her in the way she hates it the most, causing her to flinch.12

"Come now Hope; you're up in the middle of the night, running through the woods, trying to skip church, not eating anything but just apples."13

"Okay first off you have been cooking and who wouldn't want to eat just apples after that"she threw a few leaves at me with that statement.
"Secondly, I am a young and restless girl how is the only one except the dead people who have seen HIM, i'm the only one that can sense him it seems. Even Mother and Father can't sense him and they are way way more advance at it then we are our any of our coven. Can you blame me on that?"14

"What about church? People are starting to talk"15

I rolled my eyes at here."Do you want to go to a hot building full of stinky people who hate who you really are all the time?"16

She chuckled at that. such a pretty one at that. No wonder all the men in the village try to court her."I suppose you have a point but you have to start going other wise you'll be headless and in the woods for wolves to eat you!"17

It was true what she said and I knew. Hell I witnessed it over and over again while I went out searching every night...even some admited why they were actually "trialed" for and it was never for being a witch; that was only a cover up.Another reason to hate the people even more. 18

'They're food after all' A dark voice uttered so softly, like silk red cold silk, in my head. Wait, who was that...was that him? I started to turn around in circles suddenly alert. Is he here? He can't; it's too early. Fear started up in my chest. ' I have to keep HIM away from my family, exspecially my sister. He can't have her. Never will I let him'I thought frantcially.19

She looked at me concerned,"Hope are you ok?" She started to come towards me, reaching out for my forehead to feel for fever.
'I have to get her away from here now just in case I was wrong.'
I slapped her hand hard away from me. "I'm fine just go. You're such an anoyance for a little sister"I felt my heart break to say that but I knew it would make her leave sooner.'Please leave'I thought over and over again/ wouldn't be able to take the loss of her...
I could feel her back away slowly."Fine"She whispered then started to walk away. "Sister... I love you, you know?"I started to tear up and said nothing.'i love you too... morethen you can ever imagine' is what my heart cried to her as she walked away from the woods and left me, alone in the darknening woods, where I would fine my ultimate fate and reality. Or so, I thought...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(from this point i still need to redo.)20

I turned around and pulled my gray shawl closer to my frigid pale skin. I’ve always notice my skin was lighter then everyone else’s but now, now it was just too apparent from any angle. I ignored her desperate hands and gestures toward our home, turning toward the opposite way. It was getting dark, making the trees a special homage for the night as the fog slowly rolled in.21

“Please. I beg you. Come home” she whined with one more desperate plea. My mind was made.22

“I’m sorry sis, no. I shall stay. No, I have to stay. Stay until I see it and bring proof with me.” I smiled weakly,” tell our parents I’m lost in the woods. Tell them I’ve chased a male to his home but I beg you, you sis, to go home. Now.”23

I could hear her whimper slightly then hug me good bye. 24

“Fine. I swear you’re stubborn as a mule.” She threw her hands in the air, signifying defeat.25

I turned to watch her disappear out of view and then trudged my way forward to the endless abyss.26

I listened closely for that sound, my whole body alert for Him, tripping from time to time on a missed branch or uprooted roots and cursing every time.27

Looking around, I relentlessly squinted at the open darkness that devoured everything. I had known I heard something but damn these human eyes! I couldn’t see what it was. Why, out of all the nights, had I thought to go the woods on a new moon with out any torches or candles or any sort of supplies! No. I knew why. I wanted to prove my family and everyone wrong so badly ,at the same time preserving my sanity, that I wasn’t thinking properly.28

Ever since that night I haven’t really been able to think properly……29

“If only I had a torch, a slim spark, something,” I murmured, “perhaps my sis was right. There is nothing of the sort….”30

I sighed heavily and felt around for something stable to help my self up. After fumbling around a bit, finally, I was on my aching feet and searched for the way back home.31

After what seemed like years walking through darkness did I finally find the familiar smells and the faint lights of my hometown. Depression left me in such a languor that I did not notice, when, entering my humble cottage, no one was home. ”Mother! Father! Sis! Where are you?” I yelled. I walked into mother and fathers bedroom first, unknowing since the absence of light.32

A horrid stench filled my nose as I approached the bed, feeling around for the lantern they used. ‘Ha, ha!’ I thought. ’Finally, some light.’33

“OMG!” The room! What had happened to their room. It looked like a wild animal tore through it….And wha…what was that red stuff on the walls! I reached out and touched a particularly large gash with the deep red and withdrew it instantly.34

Blood? I felt rather dizzy now, between the stench and the intense sinking feeling in my chest. 35

“I have to leave out of the house. I have to fi-,” just as I turned, I saw their limp, lifeless bodies against the wall, along with my sister. I was paralyzed. 36

“Who-“ I was saying until a figure appeared in the farthest part of the room.37

“You where looking for me weren’t you?” the figure said quietly.38

I stepped forward. The lantern’s light blew out and I was alone with this mystery man.39

“Ironic isn’t’ it? That while you were searching the deep noir, I myself, was looking for you” crouching down he smiled.40

Don’t ask me how I knew he smiled but I was most certain of this, more then the fact that I knew the moon was at night..41

“You.” I trembled from the emotion and cold breeze wafting through the open window.42

“Yes? What of me?”43

“You killed my family, made them all think I was insane, and now you dare stand here, in front of me, acting as if we were friends?”44

“I see.” he chuckled. “ you haven’t remembered anything. Not even of what you are.”45

“I am nothing.”46

“Oh? Why lie to me? I know your family’s little secret.”47

“And what is that?”48

“You are 6th generation witch my dear. You’re family is among the oldest European witches around”49

I ground my teeth. How dare he mention that aloud! And how did he know?50

“Then you know to leave me alone creature.”51

“Creature? I’m hurt, honestly. Don’t even recognize your own. It’s so sad”52

“You be no witch.”53

At that, he laughed aloud. A deep sinister laugh that just ripped through my ears and made my skin crawl.54

“My, my child. I see your family has erased your memory clean. Very nicely done I might add.” another laugh. “but of course, I know your natural instincts and needs still claim you.”55

“I have no things such as of what you speak,” I growled, gathering enough energy to slam and hold him against the wall so I could escape.” but I do know my witch instincts say your no good!”56

“Really now? So you say you have no idea of all of those cow slaughters, drained of all their blood? Or the missing people found about 100 ft from your house, with gashed opened wrists and throats. They too, victim to being drained of all of their life energy?” He leaned forward, “ Or did your family erase such thoughts from your mind too?”57

I heard enough. I threw all of what I gathered at him as hard as I could. 58

Damn!59

He jumped out of the way and slammed me right into the wall.60

“Nice try but those little sparks are nothing to me,” He purred,” my how they weakened you….”61

I struggled beneath him to get free but it was like trying to move solid stone! Suddenly, an image flashed before my eyes….62

This man…. this man was familiar to me but… who? And his smell…. I shock my head to get rid of such thoughts.63

His eyes light up at this until I spat on him. “Perhaps some refreshing is what you need. You may not be able to access your memory, but, its still there. I can see it burning through those green eyes clearly.” 64

He bit down on my neck with inhuman teeth.65

I screamed in pain.66

I awoke with a start, fangs bearing and elongated. The pain shot up my neck still, a ghost of past history to haunt me. I was covered in cold sweat. God how I hate those damned visions! I sighed and sat up. After a few moments of shallow breathing, I got to the window and daringly opened the curtain to see the time. It was sunset; the time all night creatures started to stir and awake for their day ahead of them. The time when the sun bled and slowly faded, allowing the placid moon to take its place, my mistress.67

I rushed to the bathroom and showered in the coldest water then the warmest to soothe and cleanse me. Jumped out like a cat to my closet, finding my attire for the night: a simple black t-shirt and black jeans will due since the thought of dressing up made me already confined. I put my jewelry and eyeliner on and called Alex on my cell. 68

“Shank’s Diner around 7?” I asked. “Cool. Meet you there.”69

I was out the door and in my blue Mustang, cruising down the highway toward Shank’s, listening to Timo Mass, the fucking most awesome D.J. around.70

Right away I spotted him in Shank’s. I mean, it’s not that hard to miss a semi Goth business man in the dark abandoned part of the diner. “Cheri!” He smiled and hugged me, “ how are you this fine night?”71

“A bit uneasy. I had one again.” I shivered at the memory of it all.72

“You’re starting to worry me. Have you’ve been taking your medicine?”73

“When I can remember, yes.”74

“Hope…. You had better treat this seriously, other wise, you’ll turn into the things you resist to be.” He frowned. I knew he was right but hey, what can I say? Sometimes I’m scared to even get near normal people yet he aspects me wait in line for it in a holding cell wait in to-… ‘stop.’ I growled to myself in my head, ‘don’t you start that way of thinking.’75

I looked at Alex eating from the across the table. He looked exstravgent his executive suit and little lawyer glasses. He looked very intellectual. Just the type I love. 76

I smiled, remembering how cool he was about all this. Alex and me have been friends for a long time. Long before I knew a way to control what I am…77

‘’ Oww! ’’I looked to Alex’s hand. He had cut it on accident while trying to cut his steak, the cut blossoming it to a blood flower to my eyes. All I could do was stare at it, keeping myself from doing the most horrible thing. The weird pain started to spread from my chest to my most private areas. It was calling me, seducing me. The hunger started its toll.78

‘’Hope, are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?’’ he looked at me concerned.79

‘’Sorry…No. I am not hungry. Well for that anyways….’’I looked at the table, feeling ashamed for looking.80

‘’If you want I can put this in a doggy bag and we can go.’’81

‘’No-‘’82

‘’No, no I insist. You haven’t asked for any in a long time and I know the medicine is hard to keep up… I could volunteer this one night… “83

‘’Yea. I know. Look I’m going to go home. Talk to you later.’’84

Before he could say anything else, I was out the door. 85

‘I can’t go home yet.’ I thought to my self. “I’ll go insane and hell, right now the little shred I have is all the is keeping me here.’86

So, I decided to ride around for awhile.87

Back home, in my condo, Casa Del Mar, right across from the beach of Galveston, TX, did88

I stand on my balcony. ’’I hate when that happens…. I hate even wanting it.’’ I whispered to my self, sighing.89

“ maybe there isn’t any hope for me….”90

I looked at the sky. Almost dawn. I yawned and walked back in.91

‘’Damn this place is a mess…’’There was books scattered everywhere in the small front room. Having to research constantly on everything possible about my condition, well that and being a historian, kept it a constant whirl of papers and books sprawled everywhere. ‘I’ll clean it later,’ I thought, ‘right now I need sleep.’92

In my ancient room, I found my way to the queen sized bed and plopped down on the new black silk sheets I placed to replace the sweat filled ones. Stench is just one thing I can’t take right now. Soon, I drowned in the sleep taking over and my senses where dulled till they were turned off completely. Nothing could disturb me; I could hear nothing. Not the buzzing of a light some where next door, not even my own slow breathing. Nothing, in till somebody spoke in my head.93

‘Why do you hate what you are?’ the cool silk voice asked, amused.94

Repulstion filled me. No. It couldn’t be..95

‘who are you? ‘96

‘Open your eyes and see’97

I opened my golden green eyes. Instantly I saw the figure in the corner of the room. For any one normal person, they wouldn’t have seen him.98

I was suddenly pissed. How dare he have the guts and nerve to come into my condo, in my room while I sleep? And how did he get in? Racing thoughts darted back and forth, calculating the possibility of him finding me..99

Suddenly in a flash, he came face to face to me. That face.. that smell…. No.100

“Oh yes, its me. Did you miss my presence?”101

I growled the deepest throated growl and felt me losing control over the side of me I resist.102

‘’Don’t even think about trying to hurt me. I mean you no harm.”103

“Why should I trust you?! You broke in my place and invaded my scared living quarters.” I bore my fangs and I could feel my sense sharpen more and more, my body becoming more lean and tense, pumping with energy and power I deny myself.104

“What will happen if I tear your throat open right now as you hover over me?” 105

“You maybe strong, but not strong enough milady.” He smiled a toothy evil grin, “those memories of the last we met haunt you.I see them, the disturbance it creates in you, how your aura flares red and dark blue.”106

“So why are you here?” I snarled,” To offer away to ease them, to take back what I never was until I met you!?”107

“Calm your self. Perhaps I have… Perhaps I’ve come baring your destiny on my shoulders so I can hand it to you to finish on your own. I’d advise you to stay calm. At least enough for me to ask some questions.. probe your troubled mind… “ He rubbed his hand up my thigh , stopping an inch before reaching my privates,” to… comfort and release you.”108

I shivered. At this I bit his check avoiding from drawing blood to show him to stop. He laughed. He held a short knife, sharp enough to cut through solid rock, close to my throat.109

“So. Are you going to behave?”110

“I guess I have no choice.” I spat.111

He stopped pinning me down to the mattress and removed the knife from my neck. Straightening up his clothing, he leaned against the wall. I relaxed just enough to where my muscles rested and my fingernails were no longer claws. Don’t get me wrong; I stayed alert but if I hadn’t let up, then his, my, hell any/every bodies effort to help me, would be lost.112

“Thank you.” He smiled.113

“Just tell me why are you here and who you are.” I narrowed me eyes.114

“Jesus. You mean you still don’t remember?”115

“Obviously I don’t.”116

“Hmmm. Then some refreshing is in order.” He walked toward the bed. “This time, maybe your willingness and previous knowledge well help break the barrier in your mind.”117

I froze. 118

“Don’t worry; it doesn’t hurt unless you struggle.” Next to me on the bed he purred this, stroking my neck with the warmest look in his eyes.” And it will be quick. Very quick indeed.”119

“So,” I trembled more then the last time we met, “If I allow the one who killed my family, my normality, everything I know, to bite on my neck, some discomfort and past thoughts will disappear?”120

He looked into my eyes and nodded his head.121

“You need to know though, that I never killed your family.” He said quietly,” I would never destroy something for no reason…”122

“Liar! Why did you make me into this!” I hissed, “ I never agreed or asked to be what I am. I should be soil, not a human, whatever you call this, still.” Tears streamed down my face and I looked away from him.123

I felt his body get rigid and he sighed. 124

“Let me open your mind because maybe then you can see truth.”125

“No. I would rather be tortured with memories then let you in my head.”126

We sat there in silence. I should have just let him kill me. Then I could have been free of this.. all of this…127

“Then it seems,” he spoke solemnly get up from the bed and heading to the door way,” That I failed to help you.”128

A tear ran down his face. What. Why is he crying?129

“Oh but I shall succeed in my mission. I will have you back my love.” With that he jumped down from my balcony on the 5th floor and disappeared.130

Wait, did he just call me love? 131

I stood there, puzzled and tired, at the balcony, looking out at the calm waters; the Gulf of Mexico. Walking in and slowly checking the small condo for any way he could get back in, I walked back in my room.132

I shed my outer skin that contained black jeans and the shirt and replaced it with a black night gown on. I slid into my sheets and closed my eyes.