Somewhere along the borders of Fuedal Japan...1
The midnight hour panned down over the navy blue grass. The evening covered the ground in it's midnight veil. Set down in this vast valley which was surrounded by hills and mountains, lay a creature. The first of it's kind, the most beautiful being to which this land had never seen. The moon shone down on it's bright blue eyes. The emotions inside this creature were so immense that you could hear it's voice as it yelled out it's frustration at the world.
Only the moonlight could heal this creatures heart, but would the creature allow it's heart to be healed?2
The sun burst over the hills, Éowyn daughter of a local merchant sat on top of her favorite hill gazing down over the vast valley's. When the sun reached over the green grassy valley Éowyn felt the sun's warmth nuzzle her awake. She looked over this beautiful land she called home. There were so many beautiful things she admired about her home. The one thing that she loved the most was sitting beneath the willow tree at their home and listening the stories her father had to tell. Éowyn was only sixteen and her age made her free and adventurous. Qualities her father did not admire. He was always telling her that the stories she had grown up listening to were only stories. Her mother supported her father's beliefs But Éowyn would hear none of what they said. Her mother tried to keep her from wandering from the home, hoping that the silence of the household would bore her into submission. Éowyn had strong will and a kind heart, she wasn't about to give up on something she was curious about. Éowyn knew that somewhere out there that secret was true. And she was going to discover it. 3
“This creature was more beautiful than the sun.” her father would whisper, “It's coat was a coat of many colors. It's face splashed also with color. There is no other like it.” 4
These were the stories her father had told her when she was young. There were so many, it was hard to keep track. Éowyn had asked once, what the creature was. 5
“A horse some say..” her father would reply. “But if that is true, it is one of a kind.” he would then add. 6
Éowyn felt drawn to the story. This was something she would need to see herself. But with her father's watchful eye and her mother's strong will, how could she escape from the house?7
One day while market shopping Éowyn's mother sent her to the next shop to buy rice. With a very watchful eye I might add. Éowyn stood at the counter and told the merchant how much rice she wanted, while she waited she heard a young man's voice speaking quite loudly. Glancing across the dirt ridden road she saw a group of people gathered around someone. Éowyn smiled to the merchant and paid him for the rice. She then carefully snuck across to the other side to hear what this man had to say. 8
Pushing through the crowds of people she saw him. There sitting on a beer keg was the handsomest older man she had seen. Her father was good looking but this man was very handsome. He caught her glance as he finished his story, Éowyn caught the last words of his story. 9
“And that is the story of the Painted Mare.” he finished. 10
Éowyn gasped, how had her father described that horse? 11
“It's coat was a coat of many colors. It's face splashed also with color. There is no other like it.” Éowyn whispered. 12
The crowd of people cleared and instantly Éowyn rushed up to the man. 13
“Have you seen the Painted Mare?” she asked secretly. 14
The man smiled, his dark hair fell into his eyes. Éowyn looked carefully into those eyes, they were an emerald green. She smiled as she saw the sparkle in his eye. 15
'You have..haven't you!” Éowyn exclaimed. 16
“Indeed I have. In fact, I was there when she was born. I watched as a young man from a tree limb. I was so fascinated to see the exotic beauty which had been foaled by the Ancient Stallion.” he said as if remembering something important. 17
Éowyn shrugged it off and realized her mother was calling her. 18
“Listen, meet me tomorrow afternoon at Elrohir Pass. I have many questions to ask you, but now I must go.” Éowyn stammered quickly. 19
The man just smiled and nodded. He stood and began walking away. Éowyn gave a frustrated sigh when she heard the constant calling of her mother. She made her way back to the main market. Her mother gave her a slap on the arm. 20
“I sent you for rice..not so you could go off and play.” she scolded. “You really have to grow up, you can't be a child forever.” 21
Éowyn had nothing to say to her mother. All she was thinking about was meeting that man. That handsome, nameless man. Éowyn thought about all the questions she had in her head. She wanted to know exactly what to ask the man. The thoughts that night puzzled her mother. Éowyn's behavior was that of a distracted child and her mother didn't seem to understand what could be so distracting. 22
Morning came and Éowyn rushed around the house completing one chore after another. By late morning she was jumping out her bedroom window and running across the valley up the hills to Elrohir Pass. She arrived excited and out of breath. 23
“Did you run all the way here?” A voice suddenly asked. 24
Éowyn turned her eyes skyward, perched upon a branch sat the handsome man. She smiled, “What are you doing up there?” she asked. 25
He shrugged, “Figured this was a good place to sit. I can see everything up here.” he said looking over the vast countryside. 26
Éowyn felt a sense of relief there was also someone else like her who thought this country to be beautiful as well. 27
“I'd love to explore it more.” he added as he jumped down. He landed on the ground soft as a feather. Éowyn had heard about many magical things but she'd never seen anything like that before. 28
“I see you don't know about the hikimono.” the man smiled. 29
She looked at him, he was indeed strange. “Why don't you tell me your name?” she asked trying to change the subject. 30
He cocked his head and shrugged again, “Alright. My name is Keiji Sakomoto. And you are?” he asked looking at her innocently. 31
Éowyn sighed, “You're defiantly not from around here..are you?” she asked. 32
“I wasn't born here, no. Your name?” he prodded. 33
“Éowyn.” she stammered surprised to hear him answer her. 34
He looked at her a moment as if waiting for more, then realized she wasn't saying anything else about herself. He calmly sat down by a tree and looked at her patiently. 35
“You had questions you wanted to ask..ask them.” he then said a clear bit of tension in his voice. 36
Éowyn nodded and gave Keiji a smile..she needed to ask him what she wanted to ask him. Better before he decided to leave..rather than after he was already gone. 37
She thought hard for a moment. She wanted to be sure the questions she asked were not offensive. She decided it might be best if she told him a little bit about why she wanted to ask all the questions about the Painted Mare. 38
So she told him about her parents telling her the story as a child. She did refer that it was mostly her father who told her the story..but she added that her mother had told more than one wild tale in her time. She also told Keiji how she thought of her father's sudden change in thoughts. About her growing up and moving on. Accepting that there aren't any magical things in this world. 39
Éowyn sat down across from Keiji, breathless and Emotional. Keiji looked at her and smiled a half smile. 40
“The way I see it,” he began “Is that you can't always allow everyone to tell you what to do. But you can't tell them you don't care either. Your father suits me as the type of man who is erratic in his training methods and behavior. Your mother sounds as though she simply follows his lead like a good honest wife.” he looked down into the valley that night the Painted Mare was born flashed into his memory. 41
“That filly is just like you. She too was born stubborn and strong. She was part of the Imperial Breeding Stock. Her sire was a champion racer his rider, the third prince, was a unbeatable archer. The mare they named Suvarna, which means Beautiful Color. When Suvarna was born she was Golden as sunlight, her mane white as snow. She was very beautiful she had no white on her whatsoever. When she turned six months old they weaned her from her mother. The two went hysterical, they simply refused to be separated. At the time I was the stable boy that's how I was able to sit in the branches of the tree of the pasture, and see Suvarna born. I don't know how or why it happened but something changed Suvarna for good.” 42
Éowyn was entranced in the story and waited as Keiji took a sip of water from his canteen. 43
“It was said that Suvarna and her mother took off into the forest and when the moon replaced the sun Suvarna emerged from the forest alone and splashed with white all over her body. Not only is she one of a kind, but she's also mystical. She possesses the power of speech I'm told, though I have never seen this myself. “ Keiji smiled at Éowyn, “Do you have any other questions other than where to find her?” he asked. 44
Éowyn held her breath, she had just been thinking that. “How did you know I..” 45
“I know because that's what everyone asks me. And do you know what I ask them?” he asked sternly. 46
Éowyn shook her head. 47
“I ask them why they want to find Suvarna..so. What is your purpose for wanting to find her?”48
He waited as Éowyn carefully gathered the answer. It amazed Éowyn at how patient he was in the quiet but then while he spoke he was so impatient. 49
“To prove to myself she's real I guess.” Éowyn said smiling. 50
Only the look that Keiji had on his face controlled the mood and time of that very moment. He seemed to be in deep thought. Éowyn tried to be patient,
' I know he's testing me. Someone who's on a time limit will want to find Suvarna quickly. I need to be patient..I've got all the time in the world.”51
Suddenly, as Éowyn was looking at Keiji everything began to blur her head began to spin. She placed a hand to her head trying to ease the pain of the oncoming headache. Keiji was speaking to her, but she couldn't hear him. Then quite surprisingly everything returned back to normal. Keiji was crouching just a ways from her asking, repeating over and over again if she was alright. 52
“I'm alright..” she whispered. ' What had that been? ' her mind asked. She shrugged it off and returned her attention to Keiji. 53
“You were saying?” she asked her intent to ignore questions obvious. 54
“Um..I was saying..Suvarna has been living up here at the Elrohir Pass. You must travel exactly 12 miles inland and up the mountain That should take you half a day. When you reach the flatlands up there you'll see the edge of a small Lagoon..with a waterfall. Walk till you see the Hammerhead Rock if I know that mare, she'll be waiting for you outside of her cave.” 55
Éowyn smiled thanked Keiji. 56
“I'll be around should you need any help..” he added.
Éowyn nodded, her joy was too full to allow her to listen to the last words Keiji left her with. 57
“Beware Éowyn, Suvarna is smart and cunning..she'll question you one moment and strike out at you the next..be honest and trusting towards her and she will be the same to you.” 58
Truthfully Éowyn heard just the tiniest bit of what he said. About being trustworthy and honest. She had no problem with being honest..her problem was daydreaming. Already ideas were swirling in her head about being the best warrior and having Suvarna at her side in battle. Riding atop that golden colored paint mare. Her dreams were running wild, and she wasn't about to pull back on the reins. 59
Éowyn did as Keiji had said..she followed his instructions to the “T”. She came to the flatlands and saw the forest ahead. She smiled with joy as she realized how close she was. She ran for the forest and gasped as she saw the beautiful lagoon. The crystal clear water sparkled with brilliance. The waterfall created a sound so soothing it relaxed her instantly She took a sip of the water and continued on. A little ways down the road she saw the huge Hammer Head Rock. She couldn't help but be amazed at it's natural form. 60
There she stood in the middle of a forest standing beside a Hammer Head rock waiting for a magical horse to arrive. It was then that Éowyn caught a glimpse of golden shimmer out of her left eye. She looked up to the rock only to see the most beautiful horse ever. It's golden coat shone so brightly that it dazed her. And yet white seemed to be splashed all over her. 61
“Why do you travel here human?” the low, intense voice asked seriously. 62
“I wanted to see you for myself!” Éowyn called, “My parents have told me stories about you since I was a child. I wanted to know if you were real or not!” 63
The kind glass blue eye gazed down on her. “You come to see me have you? Well, I shall have to test you then. For anyone who sees me is either very lucky..or destined to be my rider.” Suvarna said beginning her descent down the steep hillside. 64
Emotions welled up inside Éowyn She could barely contain her joy. 65
“First things first, what is your name young girl?” Suvarna asked a now casual tone lacing her voice. 66
“My name is Éowyn” was her reply. 67
Suvarna smiled, “Ah, horse lover. That is the meaning of your name isn't it?” she asked. 68
Éowyn nodded, “Yes..it is.” 69
Suvarna laughed, “Oh but child..I know your true name. I can see past all your clouded thoughts, deep into your future.” 70
Éowyn was shocked, “My true name?” she questioned. 71
“Yes, your true name. Only you can discover it, but if you are to become my rider than I shall tell you your true name. Upon learning it you will gain power a hundred times over a Mage Wizard! You could rule this country if you wanted to.” Suvarna spoke as though her goal was to rule the country. 72
Éowyn tried remembering all that Keiji had said. “She will test you.” came to mind. Éowyn smiled, she had seen through the ruse. 73
“I do not wish to receive power, only to be happy.” she said standing straight and proud. Suvarna didn't look surprised nor upset, but rather happy.
She came walking up to Éowyn, she was a proud mare. Her head she held high, her mane was perfect. Every detail about her showed a distinct and clear love for honor and trust. She placed her head against Éowyn's chest. 74
“I believe you are my rider. Will you partner with me and learn to be a warrior for your country?” Suvarna questioned. 75
Éowyn was confused, “But you're the only one of your kind. Won't you be hunted down and tracked everywhere we go?” 76
“I do not originate from here, but from a small island across the sea. There are many like me on that island. That is where I call home, not here. I know you've met Keiji, he knows more about me than he let's on.” Suvarnah sighed. 77
Éowyn nodded, “I will join you and follow you.” she said a strength to her voice. 78
Suvarna smiled, “Good. Return to the village and inform Keiji that you and I will be comrades. We will travel to my home in two months. Keiji has that time to teach you all you will know. “ 79
Éowyn nodded, “I understand.”80
Suvarna smiled and added, “Your true name is Lúthien and you will need it for when you train.”81
Éowyn smiled and asked one last question..”Suvarna..can you tell me my future?” 82
Suvarna nodded, “We will travel many places and fight many battles. You will be wounded many times, but you do not die. You do not die because I am by your side along with Keiji and one other member who you will meet soon. Until later, train hard and live well.” 83
With that Suvarna vanished. Éowyn left the forest feeling like a weight had been lifted from her chest. When she came to the pass Keiji was still there sitting where he had been sitting. 84
“I guess you and I should get started..” he said smiling. 85
If there's one thing in life that is undoubtedly true..it's that your dreams are never too big to be granted. Éowyn discovered this for herself, and whether or not we choose to, we all dream. 86
Thus begins the tale of Lúthien..87
Author notes
I chose option 7-Write A Story About A Horse
lissabeth is awesome
A contest entry
- OPTIONS OPTIONS AND MORE OPTIONS by RedHearts.
400 points, ended October 13, 2007, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Fantasy-Writers!! by karmaxandxcrayons.
500 points, ended January 8, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
I know you Love this Poem..what do you think?
Comments
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I really like this - the ideas are original and creative, and the descriptions are excellent!
One thing though; I don't feel very close to your main character. Her parents are mean, yeah, yeah, but I don't see that really coming through. And I think you should put more of her feelings in so she seems like less of a thoughtless doll and more of a person.
And I think the plot progresses too quickly. One moment, your character meets Survana, the next, she's Survana's destined rider. Maybe make it a little more gradual and have Survana test her more.
Also, I don't like how you revealed Luthien's (or Eowyn, whatever I should call her) future. I was anticipating Survana to say something more mischievous ("I see your future but I cannot tell.") or something cryptic. But not explain it. That took out the mystery.
Well besides those points, I think you did a very good job!! Good luck in the contest!!
xoxox,
Lissabeth
PS: I know you read the rules - just reply and say you did so I can tell for sure.
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Thanks so much for your comment! I got that feeling too about the ending, but some other readers wrote me and said they liked how the ending panned out. Since it's a short story I figured the ending was alright. I knew it needed a little tweaking, just wasn't sure quite what.
Thanks so much, you've pointed me in the right direction!
And thanks for hosting this contest too. : )
P.S
I read the rules, lol.
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WOW! I love horses , and I loved your tale . I once wrote about a mare who fell in love with her master , who was a knight . It was long back , and this just took me back to it .


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A horse who speaks, and can see the future. A wise horse! Interesting story.Liked the horse! Good story simply written. Good job!





