There are six zeros on the check that buys an attorney's silence. More specifically a five and six zeros. Five million dollars and he eagerly signs on the proverbial dotted line guaranteeing that he will never disclose my identity for any reason.
Of course, only so much can be done to guarantee a person's anonymity in a case like this. I will always be at the mercy of the IRS. Unfortunately, they had to be given my name, my numbers, a pint of blood and the right to audit me into oblivion the first time they think that my mistakes might net them millions.
There are so many matters of public record that are truly no one's business but my own. Still, it must all be out there for people to get hold of in the event they can make a buck broadcasting it. The best I can hope for is to keep it secret until some other person merits attention.
The last thing I want are those friends falling from the sky who never gave me the time of day, but now have loved me since birth. Funny how many friends a person has when the smell of money lingers on them like fine perfume.
I would like to buy a car, but what I need is a front man. Too many leaches. Not enough blood. Fortunately, my attorney is near enough family to be trusted. He will make my deals with bankers and help me find the proper channels for anonymous donations.
There is a homeless man I have passed for years. I want him to have whatever he wants more than anything. Doesn't matter what it is as long as it is special and makes him feel significant in this world that has sneered at him down turned up noses.
No less that ten Million for my mother. How I hope she can keep her mouth shut. Five million for my Aunt. Now she can spend to her hearts content and no one will have to worry that the checks will bounce. She will have a hay day with Fingerhut. She has always loved mail order junk.
Ten million to my brother and probably at least a million to every living relative. I am not sure that I want some of them to know it came from me though. Some of them are quite the vultures and are magnets to money. I don't really want to have to tell them to go away. Others I will have to force to take anything at all.
For myself, initially, I will be quite content to go on much like before. I can live with a low profile until the new wears off and the scavengers have left the building. Then I will show you how a fool spends money.
A contest entry
- You Won! by Danna Hobart.
100 points, ended September 23, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Quite interesting. I'm was a little confused if it was a story about setting up a will or as you reveal just throwing away millions. That's a good attitude to have.
Nice of you to give to relatives, sometimes I wonder if I would. Most of mine already squander the money they already have.
Anyway, it was a well written piece and a nice quick read.
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Great!
Very well-written, interesting short story. I can only imagine how one's life would be changed due to a Windfall. SO many people knocking down your door, pretending to be long lost relatives. SCARY!=) -
I absolutely loved the sardonic, informal tone of this story, with the easy use of syntax to get the speaker's voice across. At "There are so many matters...but my own" I was a little lost, but I assumed I'd figure it out from the context as I read along. Near the last few paragraphs the feel of the piece changed and I thought "a will" but the ending made me think "lottery". Still, I'm not certain if that's what this was meant to be (the tired resignation in the speaker's voice made me think this (leeches and greedy relatives) was something that has been happening for a while.
In any case, I enjoyed this muchly. Cheers for the read!
. Rewarded 8
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This is not a bad read. Well written. And I think that you were very nice to give your relatives money however you are correct that friends do come out of the wood work when the smell of money is to be had.
This is a good job. It kept pace. Kept my attention. No grammar errors that I noticed. And was a enjoyable read. Good job!
Thanks for sharing. Also, I'd like to know about what the fool really wants out of his money. I don't personally, think that he is a fool. After all he isn't selfish... how about donating his money to a childrens hospital... or a homeless shelter. Something like that. Good suggestions don't you think.
trekkergirl
. Rewarded 8
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Wow
This was a wonderful story. I love the ending. It is simply astonishing. What inspired you to write this? I think this is one of the best reads I've seen in storywrite. Seriously. Amazing. You deserve billions- perhaps trillions of prizes for this.
AMAZING! <3 Continue to write, please. I could read thousands of stories about this character.
XOXO
Turtle. Rewarded 6
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Wow, this is a really good piece. I like it, its very thoughtful and interesting. It kept my interest throughout the entire piece. You described the world in a very accurate way- the portrayal of how the world has become and how addicted to money it is, brilliantly. I really liked the part about the homeless man, it was nice to have an act of compassion despite talking about all the lack of loyalty and lack of friendships. The first line really drew me into the story- it was really unusual but still it really seemed to fit. The last line , I loved it , it was a really nice close to a really well written piece. I thought your descriptions of the relatives were really well done and mentioning the contrast between the money magnets and the relatives who wouldn't want any money was a very important part. Very nice job!
WritingFreedom. Rewarded 8
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wow *speechles*
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I like it, while I kind of wish I could read more about this character, its almost more interesting to not. Hehe.
Keep on writing!
. Rewarded 4
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=)
I found this story something I could relate too in a completely different perspective. -
I found this to be a very interesting read. If I had that much money family I didn't know (probably for good reason) would be pounding my door down. I like the mention of giving the homeless man anything that he wants that will make him happy; you didn't overlook anyone when you were writing this. I wonder where the money came from? A wonderful story that stays interesting from beginning to end.
. Rewarded 8
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Nice, suscint and rather mysterious! The opening really hooked me in and kept me engrossed 'til the end-your vocabulary is wonderful too, neither too much or too little. Excellent!
. Rewarded 4
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Is this flash fiction?
I love the beginning, the transition for every paragraph, the "voice" of the person narating. I feel such bitterness and resentment, adn yet, despite that, this person has this strong emotion for the ones he cares for... I think this just proves that underneath the toughest shells, there still IS a soft heart, even for the *bleepest* bastard... kinda like a crab? Hahaha I likened bad people to crabs
But anyway, violet, thank you for this.
You deserve the gold
*claps*
. Rewarded 8
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Oh yes. This I like very much *nods* The opening (you can slap me for saying this) is what my teachers would call a "zinger" but I see it as the opening lines to a brilliant piece of work. The numbers draw you in right away by bringing your attention to the check and the talk of money. I must admit that after reading the rest of it I wasn't sure if the speaker was the one getting the money or if he was giving it away but either way it captivated me.
Your vocabulary is very good but it doesn't make it all sound pompous or pretentious. Rather it adds to the character's sense of who he is. I would say that the language was well suited for this and in fact added to the reason why I like it so much. More than the choice of words was the way that you used them. Like when you said, "Funny how many friends a person has when the smell of money lingers on them like a fine perfume."
Nice use of similies and metaphors to describe what's going on. Great job!
. Rewarded 8
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It's a good short piece. I liked how you started out with the mention of the zeros and then expanded onto the point. Very good
. Rewarded 4
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Interesting.......
Nicely written, subject covered with the kind of panache that goes with previous thought, and who hasn't dreamed of being the unexpected millionaire?
I liked the cynical asides about friends dropping from the sky, and waiting for the scavengers to leave. Good stuff.
My very few gripes are about odd phrases; I find it hard to see how anyone can look down an upturned nose, metaphorically or physically. The whole of that sentence seems a trifle awkward to me, almost as if you were trying to convey the meaning in as few words as possible. OK, brevity is the essence of wit, but I feel you sacrificed wit for brevity here.
One typo that really struck me was "Leaches." I assume you meant leeches; interesting slip though, because the verb leach means to wash out, eg minerals leaching out of the soil.
This was a nicely paced, concise piece, first one I've read of yours. Appreciated it.
. Rewarded 8
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A very provoking short piece. The thought that goes into it is really intriguing, and the way it's portrayed is really lovely. I enjoyed the simple way it's written in thoughts, with the lack of dialogue, I found it really easy to follow, and I enjoyed it greatly.
. Rewarded 6
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Okay. I really do not know what to say. I guess that I have to say something. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really liked it. Well, not that much, but it was a really great read to begin with. Sorry, but, even though, it was well written, had a nice plot, and I do not think that there were any grammar errors, I have to say that I was confused at some parts of the story. Who is this guy? Why is he giving his money away? Those are the types of questions that I was asking myself. I really feel that you should make those things clear. Otherwise, the story was amazing. It was a great read, and like I said, "It was written, well."
My favorite part was when he says, "The last thing I want are those friends falling from the sky who never gave me the time of day, but now have loved me since birth. Funny how many friends a person has when the smell of money lingers on them like fine perfume." That is so true.
MagicMonster00M
. Rewarded 8
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This is a wonderful short story
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Hey! This is a really well-written story, I think, and it definitely provokes some thought.
"No less that ten Million for my mother."
That 'that' should be a 'than', but that's the only glaring error that I noticed.
So, other than that, a wonderful short piece. Thank you!
annye
. Rewarded 6
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this story is really good and has good description.
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Your grammar is really good unlike most of the people on this site, Wynette (interesting name). I think that the story to this was also very good and the description was really good, as well.
Keep up the great work! I look forward to more of your stories.. Rewarded 6
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This is very intelligent, I hope it doesn`t sound to silly; me saying that. Great spelling punctuation and paragraphs! You actually did them and there was no over use of commas, thank god!
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Ah, this is more like it. You put a smile on my face. Thanks for entering.
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