Angel, Angel,....that's what you are.
Lifting me from darkness
and into the light.
So strong and courageous,
sent from afar.
You showed me your ways
and opened my heart,
making me see how love concurs all.
For you are my angel.
You are my star.
The one who brings me hope
when I can't go on.
You are the sun
that I look upon,
then I realize my life has just begun.
Within this world
of lost hope and love,
you showed me the way to carry on.
I needed a friend to believe in me,
then you appeared
to chase away my grief.
Many have told me,
don't be a fool.
Following your dreams will get you nowhere.
But I know with my angel by my side,
I can touch my dreams
and make them right.
You have done so much
more than I can ever repay.
All that I have to give you
is this simple song.
To say to you
thank you my friend,
my love,
....my angel so true.
A contest entry
- The Poet's Challenge: Round X by Asfand.
175 points, ended October 9, 2007, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Co-Judge Callthexylophone
Not a horrible poem, I agree with most of what Asfand said: a sweet poem, but common. The best and most wonderful love poems are the ones that step outside of the box, even as far as making strange comparisons. (For instance,
Title ~ 6/10
Depth ~ 6.5/10
Imagery ~ 9/15
Format ~ 5/10
Feeling ~ 6/10
Theme ~ 12/20
Flow ~ 12/15
Understanding ~ 9/10
Total ~*~ 65.5/100 -
Touching ~
The story is sweet, a little common but nicely written ~
What we are looking for this contest is to know that you can make your won themes and settings and formats. We need to understand you have what it takes to standout ~
It is nicely written, the format could have been better but even so the flow was terrific ~
This spoke on gut-level actually. It was softly worded and you controlled the rhythm wonderfully ~
The title could have been much better. You can have tons of possibilities of titles here. "Catching Golden Halos" "Opening Soul To Biss" might be nice ~ you're free to use them if you like ~
A nice entry ~
Good luck and thanks for entering ~
Title ~ 8/10
Depth ~ 7.8/10
Imagery ~ 11.3/15
Format ~ 8/10
Feeling ~ 9/10
Theme ~ 16.7/20
Flow ~ 14.2/15
Understanding ~ 10/10
Total ~*~ 87/100
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