Youth, Nightmare

Shunned.

Ignored.

Invalidated.

If there is one thing she had learned about being 13, or 12, or 11, for that matter, it is of the discrimination one must suffer as a result of one's age - no doubt from adults, and even many older teens. They would be hiding around, at every corner, the vicious attacks of despiction and dominance - all that is, is an exercise of power.

Older, wiser, inevitably much more experienced. It gives one every right to look down upon individuals younger than themselves, and to assume a position of control over them, proudly believing that just because they have been on this earth longer than some others, they automatically know what's 'best' - for people they do not even know.

For a while, she had attempted so hard to create a mask of 'maturity', and present it forth to those whom look down on her, and just perhaps, in this way she may earn small amounts of the respect she so desperately wishes for.

At one point, she came to the realization that the ones considered mature for their age, and win the spotlight of praise in practically every group setting, are the ones who stand on the sidelines, quiet observers of adults conversation. Thus, she began to do the same, but instead of being an active listener, she allowed herself to fade into the background, her fragile identity hidden behind a scholarly appearance.

The Good Girl, they would all refer to her in this way, the good girl who never interrupts adult talk, and is always so polite to her elders.

Yet, all she wanted was the equal amount of respect an adult would give to another, and not the one that becomes filtered upon interacting with a teen.

If there was one thing she was most sensitive to, it would be being considered young and immature. Though she never understood why, she had long since allowed this feeling to control her every outwardly action, and these thoughts, dictate her life.

Eventually, it would overwhelm, and subsequently ruin her completely.