If people could be eaten,
Maybe virtue flavors best,
So that the sinner’s sausage
Is distressing to digest.
And maybe then the pieces
Of a priest are highly prized,
And sold for pumped up prices
All depending how they’re sized.1
And maybe God is hungry
And that’s why He’s often said,
That in place of all the sinners
He likes holy men instead,
So that way, inside heaven
There is but an iron pan,
Filled with chopped tomatoes
And some strips of sautéed man 2
If that’s the case, my theory
Should indeed make me esteemed,
For I would not be eaten
Nor flambéed or stewed or creamed.
Although I’ve tried my hardest
To improve my holy score,
The awful fact remains
That I am rotten to the core.
Author notes
...The problem with thinking about religion is that it brings one's mind to really weird places. Perhaps this is why my priest doesn't like me...
I think too much. ;-)
In a list
A contest entry
- The Poet's Challenge: Round X by Asfand.
175 points, ended October 9, 2007, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - cannibalism. Lots os points by Elvenfairy.
200 points, ended November 1, 2007, 5 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by potaytee.
120 points, ended November 12, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I am of the opinion that there's no such thing as "thinking too much"
This was ridiculously amusing, extremely disturbing, and immensely ironic - that would be quite a cosmic turn of the tables, to say the least. I couldn't help laughing. Congrats on another excellent poem; your writing abilities continue to impress and intimidate me (in a good way!) =)
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That is very cool. It unusual and weird, but at the same time VERY well done.
Good luck -
lol I don't think your problem is taht you think too much, but taht you have a very... unique immagination.
This was an amusing poem. Thanks for entering my contest
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Rereading All The Entries Again To Final Score
In view of other judgements on entries less better than this one, getting a few decimals upped --
My Final Score: 92.7
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Wow, this is impressive.It might rate right up there with "Casey at The Bat." I don't usually read poetry. Not because i don't like it. There's just not that many that I like. I like this one. You should be proud.
I'm still not sure how to use the ratings. I'll just say I give you a five star.
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Co-Judge Callthexylophone
Fantastic. The first poem I've read that's worthy of this contest ^_^.
Title ~ 9/10
Depth ~ 9/10
Imagery ~ 15/15
Format ~ 10/10
Feeling ~ 9.5/10
Theme ~ 20/20
Flow ~ 14/15
Understanding ~ 10/10
Total ~*~ 96.5/100
No real complaints on this one! So great. -
OMG!! this is like one of the best of the stories i;ve read soo far!! marvelous!!! good luck in the contest!! this poem's a definite win! hahahahaahhahahahaha!!!! lol!
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Hilarious ~
A stunning entry and a smashing job ~
It was a very enjoyable write and very excellently penned poem ~
The title does it's job well, bringing the reader in and making him eager to peer inside ~
The rhyming scheme was good and the words were not that stressed ~
It was very funny and with a great message ~ so profound and the imagery was a very strong point in this one ~
Stanza 1. L.7 ~ the flow was distorted with priced ~
Similarly, the capitalization of EVERY sentence poked me in the poetic side ~
The metaphors were excellent and you made them show off their full effect ~ I would have strayed from some choices for mere flow ~ but that is personal preference and this was well done ~
It showed a religious side ~ and it showed in a witty light - yours.
Overall, a stunning job ~
Good luck and thanks for entering ~
Title ~ 9.5/10
Depth ~ 9.1/10
Imagery ~ 14.2/15
Format ~ 8.3/10
Feeling ~ 9/10
Theme ~ 18/20
Flow ~ 13/15
Understanding ~ 10/10
Total ~*~ 91.1/100
As till now ~ the highest score - so keep your fingers crossed ~
Hoping you will qualify for the next rounds and bring your talents there ~
Thanks!
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Oh, that left me laughing like nothing I've read on here. That was a good morning treat, and I thank you.
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Cute, Clever, and Tasty
I had to check this out. I've decided not to try this contest. I haven't been writing much poetry, and Storywrite is not really the place for it in my view. That aside, this poem is great satire and shows that you have an interesting religious side. I'd like to know more of what you really believe. I like the rhyme and flow of this poem as well as the content. May you pick up another trophy.
Andy
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Hello Megan! Of course you know I liked this poem. It seems I can;t find anything you write that I don't like! It is witty, well rhymed, outrageously funny, and very original!
Anaya Roma
beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5.
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