With A Single Shot {Working Title}

Luminescent stars littered the navy blue sky. Everything seemed so peaceful outside. Tree leaves rustled, attempting to follow the invisible trail the wind left behind with each gust. Silence filled the air, leaving very little space for anything else. How I wish I was Mother Nature right now, because right now, she seems content. Oh, how I wish my life was peaceful.1

But instead...2

I hear screams echoing from downstairs; screams driven by alcohol. For the thousandth time, I wonder what it would be like if my parents weren't intoxicated by the poison. For the thousandth time I wonder if they really ever knew how to be parents. For the thousandth time, I wonder if they ever learned to love their only daughter, let alone each other. I listened to their words of hatred from the bottom steps of a wooden staircase. 3

"Why did I ever marry you?" My father, Logan asked with glazed but fierce eyes. "How in the world did I deserve such a pathetic wife and a worthless daughter?!"4

"Oh, and you're not worthless?!" my mother snapped back. "I'm the one who spends all day working when you sit all day on your butt in that stupid chair!" 5

"And you're obviously not making enough, you pathetic little woman. Look at this place. It's like living at a frickin' landfill!"6

"Well maybe if you actually got a job, we could afford to live in more than just a pit!" 7

"Maybe if you were actually smart enough not to get pregnant with the stupid kid, we could be living in a mansion by now!"8

"Hello, you were the one that got me pregnant in the first place, you idot!"9

Of course, the conversation always finds a way to get all the way back to me, Yeah, that's the way these fights always goes. They can just blame all their problems, all their mistakes, all their regrets on me. Why? Well, because to them, I am their mistake, their regret. They want me to die, I know it. How? Oh, I have bruises. Tons and tons of bruises. It seems like these days, the belt seems like my father's favorite weapon. That, or his arms slamming me against the wall...it's nothing new. 10

"I heard enough out of you!" my father bruskquely yelled. Gunshots filled the air as my I struggled to breathe. It felt like all of the air was sucked out the room, out of the world. Silence replaced the air that was taken away, peacefulness finally made it's way to me. You really should be careful about what you wish for. 11

Sirens sounded from the street about twenty minutes later. The neighbor lady must've heard something. I wouldn't be surprised, my parent's screams were just enough to shake the house. Imagine what a firing gun would do. 12


Author notes

Ahhh! So many ideas and I can't use them all in one story! I'm so FRUSTRATED!

Now that's over with...

This is UNFINISHED, but it needs a TITLE! Please comment!

*Frozen Angel*

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Violette silver member
    April 13

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    Awww.

    That's so sad. Your character had to deal with so much suffering and emotional agony. I love the way it was written; breath-taking.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • Fiddlewilly
    January 23
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    I'm impressed

    It felt like all of the air was sucked out the room, out of the world.

    I love this.


  • WaterBottle
    November 16, 2008
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    Sad..........................

    This character went through turmoil. I can't believe her drunken parents treated her as if she were a hindrance or curse. That's so wrong. And the end is horrible, too. It seems a bit abrupt, the father killing the mother, like maybe the story should've built up more before this happened. Still a great read.=)


  • SparklingMoonlight
    June 18, 2008
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    Wow, this is pretty good so far... .. if I come up with another title, I will let you know....


  • Miss Hanako Cullen
    April 21, 2008

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    This was impeccable!! Wonderfully written!

    Here's my offer for a title: With A Single Shot or Gone With A Bullet

    Don't know if it's quite what you were looking for. lol.

    I thought this was great, though there were a few misspelled words- other than that this story was beautiful.

    Wonderful!!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • zac125
    October 6, 2007

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    This is good,to me a bit humorous,I had to laugh alittle, but if I think of a title, I'll let you know if you want.


  • siedne
    September 21, 2007

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    good job, i like the beginning, how the beauty of the night contrasted the scene at home. watch your spelling, and in the second last para u missed a word, i think, which was crucial. did he shoot both u and your mother? just do a little proof-reading keep writing!

1 - 7 of 7