Sailing the Moon

Sean sat on the edge of his patio. He was waiting for something. Sean was staring at the moon. It would be wonderful to leave this place. To never return. But he couldn't. He was trapped by the endless struggle that was his life. Sean laid back too look at the stars. He was just beginning to think about what a great place the moon would be to live when he fell asleep

---
Sean awoke to the sound of aloud engine being started up. He sat up and stared out to his lawn. There in the middle of it, was the biggest ship he had ever seen. Sean got up so fast that he almost hit his head on the banister of the patio. He ran to the ship and made his way up a rope to the deck.

It was a sailing boat. The boat was small but it was durable. Sean walked up the stairs and grabbed hold of the wheal. It vibrated at his touch. Sean could feel his adrenaline running at hyper speed though his body. 'How do you make it go?' Sean thought.

And at that thought, the ship rose into the sky and streaked away off towards the moon. Sean steered around trees and skyscrapers, wanting more than anything to get to the moon. He broke through the troposphere or atmosphere or whatever it was, and into the universe.

He was almost to the moon. The stars were even closer now then they were when he was on earth. Sean skyrocketed to the moon. He went around and around it. Looking at every one there. People were going about their daily business as he watch them from above. He felt a tug at his arm. When he looked down, there was no one there.
---

"Sean, it's time to come inside," said a voice from far, far away. He recognize it but didn't reply. "Sean you need to take your pills. Remember the last time you didn't?"

Sean stayed where he was, ignoring the voice. He was where he belonged. Sailing the moon, just like in his dreams.

"Sean, you really need to take your pills before you go to bed," said the voice.

"Go away," he told the voice after it wouldn't stop. "I am sailing the moon. Just like in my dreams."

Author notes

All done. just so you know this ---story--- is all in Sean's mind. It's not real or anything like that. the stuff that isn't between the six dashes is actualy happening. oh yea, if you didn't pic up on it, Sean is crazy, he's in a loony bin right now so that's why he has to take pills.

'I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, just like I swallowed a kitten.'

This is for Number One

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • plurangel silver member
    October 22, 2007
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    first off im not one to get really antsy about writings but i'm sorry the whole third person was not working for me unless there was dialogue within the first few lines. seeing the name sean every other line started to annoy me. this was very short and not much of a plot line. or anything. there is a lot that could be fixed in this story. but good try. goodluck


  • Asfand
    October 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Pretty sweet job, liked the imagery in the title ~


  • just-a-lonely-girl
    October 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    that was excellent. I especially liked how it was all in his head.
    thanks for entering
    ~kit~


  • happy go lucky13
    October 5, 2007
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    good job


  • miles of smiles
    September 26, 2007

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    Good job *grins brightly*

    This was a very creative story! I love how you interperted this prompt. And brownie points because you must have known about my short attention span- you wrote a short story. (I love short stories! YIPPEE!)

    This was such a cute story. I love how you showed what was happening inside Sean's mind, and in reality.

    However, there were many grammactical and spelling errors. You may want to proofread this, or have someone else try. If you have Spellcheck in a program like Microsoft Word, that would be a good idea too. Here are some errors:

    padio should be patio
    too should be to
    begining should be beginning
    engien should be engine
    banaster should be banister
    bigest >> biggest
    aloud >> a loud
    wheal >> wheel
    atmospher >> atmosphere
    skyrocked >> skyrocketed (I think!)
    watch >> watched
    recognize >> recognized

    Overall, good job on the story! Excellent creativity. My fave line->

    Sean stayed where he was, ignoring the voice. He was where he belonged. Sailing the moon, just like in his dreams.

    ..That just tied it all together!

    ♥sarah.elizabeth


  • miles of smiles
    September 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great start!!! I can't WAIT for the rest! ♥s.e.


  • miles of smiles
    September 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    heyy..um...question:

    i need to know which you would like, a story starter, a character, or a title?

1 - 8 of 8