Captured on Camera ch. 1

Melinda woke up slowly, her eyelids fluttering open. Where was she? She struggled to recall but all that came up was a blank. She peered into the darkness around her but could make nothing out in the gloom. She tried to move but found that she couldn't, her hands and feet bound to the bed posts. Bed posts? Yes, she was in a bed. She could feel the springs of the mattress poking her through the thin cushioning. She turned her head left and right, trying to make out something familiar, searching the darkness for the elusive memory on how she'd gotten there.

The door clicked as the knob was turned. She focused her eyes on the thin rectangle of light that she could see, outlining the doorway to...to somewhere else. When the door finally opened she was blinded by the sudden flooding of light. She moaned as her pupils contracted, slowly adjusting until she could make out a fuzzy silhouette standing in the doorway.

"So you're finally awake now. Good. Then it is time to begin."

Her flesh crawled as the voice ran over her skin, into her ears, purely masculine. The image of it driving into her head made her squeeze her eyes shut. She heard a click as a light went on, and squeezed her eyes tighter shut still. She squeaked when he touched her, his hands roughly grasping her face.

"Now, now, Melinda...Open your eyes. We both know you're awake, there's no use pretending."

The hand jerked Melinda's head and her eyes unwillingly flew open. A man stood before her, one she didn't recognize. He hada unkempt brown hair, brown eyes, and a pale complexion. Not pretty pale, but fluorescent lighting poisoning pale. He looked so average...like he belonged in some cubicle in some unnoticed office. What was he doing here tormenting her?

Suddenly memory hit her, like a truck slamming into her gut she remembered. She was walking home slowly, paying no attention to the world around her, running an email she'd gotten from an online "friend" through her mind again and again.

"I'm coming for you Melinda, there's no hiding from me. You've said no too many times, disobeyed me. Shown me insolence! You deserve what you'll get."

She shivered as the words flashed through her mind, her eyes refocusing to see that man in front of her again. His voice spoke with such power, it was surprising coming from such an ordinary man.

"Melinda, do you know who I am?"

His voice rolled like silk over her, caressing her, inviting her to remember. But no recognition came from him, there was no memory of him whatsoever. Nothing clicked. She didn't understand. And yet the fierce familiarity...who was he?!

"I think you know. I think you just don't want to admit this to yourself. But you know. I told you you'd pay, and now you are. You deserve this."

And that's when realization hit, the email!

"J-Johnny?!" she stammered, her voice quavering in fear.

"That's a good girl, I knew you'd recognize me." He smiled at her, then reached out to her, blade in hand.

The knife glinted silver, a cold steel blade gleaming with a wicked sharpness. And it was coming towards her! She opened her mouth and screamed then, crying out as loudly as she could, squirming against her bonds. "Nooooooo!!!!!! No! No! Stop! Don't, please, please, don't!"

His hand came down on her jaw again, clamping it shut, smothering her mouth with his broad palm. 'Shut up!" he hissed, his voice thick with malice and anger. "You disobeyed me and you know it. You deserve to be punished." His hand slid down her throat and she breathed in deeply, gasping when he clenched her breast in his hand, pressing hard and twisting hard. Her face contorted in pain and she cried out, near screaming before he released her. He smiled wickedly and leaned forward, pressing his lips roughly against her. She moaned in disgust and disbelief. This was not happening, how could it be happening to her? His tongue flickered on the edges of her mouth and she was tempted to bite him, but afraid now of what the repercussions might me. She clenched her lips tighter together instead, defying him to find a way inside her.

He laughed, pulling a long black strip of cloth out of a bag sitting on a desk in the corner. She shook her head widly, struggling as he grabbed her and wrapped it around her mouth. He forced her jaw open for a second, sliding the silky cloth between her teeth. Before she could spit it out he was pulling on it, tightening it and tying it behind her, gagging her.

His face was truly pleased now as he walked over to a camera, hooked into a computer sitting just a few feet from them. He slipped a mask onto his face and the dread forming a knot in Melinda's belly tightened just a little more. "Your humiliation will be broadcast to the world, Melinda. That's right. Even as the police and your poor worried parents are looking for you, everyone will know just where to find you. YouTube, Myspace, CNN, they'll all be airing video footage of...your punishment."

Melinda shivered as a red light started winking at her from the camera. It was like morse code from an evil eye, telling her it was going to be watching, and enjoying, the evil deeds about to be done to her.

He walked over to her again, knife in hand, mask securely in place. The bed shook as he climbed on top of her, merrily humming some odd tune she couldn't place. Was it classical music? Then suddenly the blade was at her throat, and her heart was pounding in fear. A million different ways to die went through her head. Would this be it? Was her life going to end now?!

She lay still, too afraid to move as he skimmed the blade over her skin. Beads of nervous sweat welled up over her flesh, rolling down her and pooling on the edge of the knife. With one quick jab the knife sliced through her shirt, tearing the fabric away like cobwebs, ripping it apart so violently that her heart skipped a beat. His hands rubbed over her heaving belly and up her chest as her breathing quickened and became erratic. Fear took over her, and at the same time she could feel...lust? Coiling itself around her loins, she almost vomited but swallowed hard instead, choking on the rising bile. His hands moved under her skirt, sliding between her spread thighs and rubbing over her cotton panties. She whimpered then, she hadn't been expecting this. Why wasn't he just going to kill her?

He pulled back, stripping out of his plain white shirt and undoing the belt around his faded jeans. She could see him smiling as he undid his pants, sliding them off with a calm elegance and tossing them in the corner. He slid the knife under the waistband of her skirt, cutting through it slowly, letting the sound of the tearing fabric claw at her ears and shatter her nerves. He leaned forward, sliding the blade in that valley between her breasts, and then with an expert flick the wrist snapping her bra open, cutting it down the middle like one would a fish about to be gutted. It fell away, exposing the large mounds of flesh she'd once been so proud of. His thumb caressed her nipple, rubbing and pinching it til it stood pert and stiff. Then out came the blade again, kissing her skin.

This time it burned as he dragged the blade lightly over her chest. The gash was only about three inches long but she was shocked by the vibrant red blooming over her white flesh. She closed her eyes, refusing to cry out and give him the pleasure, but hell did it hurt. He touched the blade to her blood, saturating it with its victory, then grabbed her panties within his hands. He wiped the knife on the cloth as he cut it, staining her cotton whites a terrible, permanent red.

He pulled the tattered remnant of her clothing off, explosing her to the camera's watchful stare. His own underwear came off then too, and for the first time in her life Melinda saw a man naked, knowing exactly what he meant to do to her.


Author notes

This is my first attempt at an erotic story...So sorry if it's not that good ><' I hope you like it anyways...and tune in to the next few chapters ><

Fine fine *edits out the word mirthful*

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • indomitable
    February 13, 2008

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    mmm, sexy despite the seeming unwillingness of the victim. im a rather disturbed person though, i can certainly see how this would bother some people. not the kink, but that the ending implies the victim is an innocent about to be raped. quite the cliffhanger ending you have there, id love to see the next chapter. very nice flow to this as well, was a nicely descriptive, good read. thanks.


  • Amicus2K9
    February 9, 2008

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    good mechanics, well written

    aside from good writing, a nice buildup of tension and anticipation. Not my usual thing to read, so the violence and the seemingly inevitable rape and the bloodletting, are beyond my reasoning, but still, your story flows and tells and explains and leads the reader on.

    amicus...


  • Syrean
    February 9, 2008

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    Its a good beginning, and I can't wait to see where you take it!!

    Good luck in my contest, and thanks for your entry

  • Thellra
    October 8, 2007
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    Nice

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • sarahhitch
    October 5, 2007

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    I wasn't to sure about this at first, but you have me hooked, I want to know why he has to punish her and how far he will go....

    Will look out for me in the future.

    Sarah.

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.


  • Token Massacre silver member
    September 30, 2007

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    I would try rewording some of the sentences instead of having "she... She....She..." starting them.
    for example:
    She struggled to recall but all that came up was a blank.
    if you used something like ...
    Struggling to recall what happened to her, all that came up was a blank.

    Watch using unnecessary words...
    for example
    The door clicked as the knob was turned.
    removing the word "was" here makes it sound more visual not that the reader is being told exactly what's going on.

    She shivered as the words flashed through her mind, her eyes refocusing to see that man in front of her again.
    the comma after mind should be a fullstop and capitalize "her"

    Once you get farther down your paragraph structure seems to waver a bit. Making the story feel a bit rushed. You've got really good description here. Let the story play out for the readers.
    It's a good start, just needs some tweaking.


  • Natalie-
    September 26, 2007

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    I know I said, I don`t like violence but I also said I`d read and enjoy every once in a while, so I`ll have to keep an eye out from when you continue this.


  • NotTheDroids
    September 24, 2007
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    An excellent start, althoughthe word mirthful really has to go - it doesn't fit the mood, really! Perhaps something about a manic lookm a sick glee, or something?


  • Veinscape
    September 21, 2007
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    Just Lovely.

    I like it... I like it alot.
    Funny that...

  • Mr Martini
    September 20, 2007

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    'Truly mirthful?" Eh.

    Other than that, pretty good start. You're good at placing the reader. You accomplished alot with this. The reader is interested enough in what happens next to read about the searcher/hero (whoever is looking for her or this psycho). It was smart to infer an ultra-erotic rape rather than jump right into it. Strings the reader along beautifully. They want the payoff, but they like being teased.


  • EmeraldDreams
    September 20, 2007
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    Really good continuation here. I like the feel of terror and degradation you have managed to convey here. And a nice gruesome touch to have him broadcast it on the web.....

  • EmeraldDreams
    September 20, 2007
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    Oooops! I read it! Sorry, I didnt see the notes til the end, and it was too late!!!!

    Although, it is a great beginning. And I will definately be waiting for the next part to it. A great cliffhanger here! Well written, and a nice main character and protagonist.

1 - 12 of 12