"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you!" You said that to me so long ago. I don't understand what you see but that will all change. I'm going to make your wish come true. I'm going to take your eyes and give you mine. I've practiced the surgery so many times, I could do it with my eyes closed, and will have to. Countless unnamed people, I HAD to kill because otherwise they would have ratted me out. Their perceptions changed, and ours will as well.1
You come home late as usual, always so late. Why do you do that, don't you love me? --Ah but I guess these sort of thoughts are why I'm doing this. So we can both see ourselves in the best light. I know this is what we both want, I know you'll understand.2
I told you I had a surprise for you tonight. "Come to our room." A simple request, and-- and here you come. You open the door in your sexiest outfit, it's stunning, a marvel before I swing that rubber bat full force against your head. I must be a monster for doing this but that's not how you see me, you would never, I know we both need this. I marvel at your broken body for a moment as soon that beauty will be gone to me, but you begin to stir. I drug you further to prevent any pain or motion as I do the procedure. 3
Delicately, I carry you to the kitchen. I don't want to hurt you, that is the last thing I'd want. I cleaned the table just how you like it. Slowly, I place your broken body upon the table. I reach forward with my instruments and carefully sever the optic nerves, they need to be intact for this to work. Suddenly all the love in your eyes is in my hands. I swear I can feel it seeping out. It's my turn now, I take a second to inject a numbing agent into my face. This will still hurt, I need some feeling to do this, but it must be done. Suddenly black, my eyes are gone, but I feel I can see. I've rehearsed this, so I know, and I carefully weave my optic nerves around your eyes, and vision restored! It is glorious, everything seems so right, so clear. I look down and I catch a wretched sight, I am forced to continue my work despite my desire to end your life. I barely remember what I once saw, wretched rolls of fat and wrinkles surround the entirety of your body. I can barely look at you anymore. Your eyes fit into place, and I leave, I can't live with you anymore. You are such a wretched thing. I leave forever with the ugliest eyes I have ever seen.
Author notes
This is one of the darkest things I've ever written. Anyway Necro option 1. grapevine.
A contest entry
- Two times Two! by EmeraldDreams.
650 points, ended September 22, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Hibitijibbitis......... by angel.of.mine.
420 points, ended October 15, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Scare Me, Woo Me by hey incendiary.
1225 points, ended October 3, 2007, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Odd Love by Darkhearted.
350 points, ended April 23, 65 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
you need to put in the password but other then that it was fantastic.
thanks for entering,
chey-bear -
Ah, but you're wrong. Her eyes would then be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, since technically they're yours
-
Wow! Disturbing and incredibly good. I liked it a lot. Or maybe that's because I love the human mind, who knows? It was sad that he left her as soon as he saw things through her eyes.
But still a good piece.
Angel
-
Excellent work! What I liked most about this piece was the way the perceptions changed. The protagonist now sees the person upon the table as they once saw themself. Well done.
-
What made this story so enjoyable was the way you made fun of the phrase "see the words through someone else's eyes" (can't remember the exact wording of it so that might not be right at all lol), and the horror-style, deeply disturbing, amazingly well written way you did it. I definitely want to read more of your work after this, great job!
-
that was morbidly obscene kina like freaked me out a bit their- did not expect it but hay, everyone has a dark side to writing - in fact i prefer you horrific story to the latter
your only insane to yourself- you realise this
-
What a fascinating little piece- just long enough to repulse, and just short enough that it left you wanting much, much more. Well done, and good luck!
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
-
Wow... how horrendous and grotesque... And yet, expertly written. This was so twisted, and so very dark. What a terrible form of insanity!
The ending was great, sad, and yet still disgusting lol
Great job on this.
-
oh my....-_- dark and disturbing.. how.. twisted .... but so interesting..and.. i just dont know wat to say.. i couldnt stop reading after the 1st line it was just amazing. thanks for enetering!
-
What a twisted little piece...plus it had bits of your insane humor in it which was great. It is said we are our worst critics...so seeing someone through their own eyes...ya...you hit the nail on the head with this one. Good job Matt and good luck in the contests.
-
What a great, gory and twisted piece this was! I loved it! And I know Necro will like it as well!
Well done with this, and thank you for the entry! -
Can you say TWISTED????? :D
You finished it!!!! Haha!
Maybe if people CAN see everyone the way everyone sees him/her.. this will be a more grotesque world (IF they all do what your character did)
When you first told me about this, I seriously didn't think it would give me that amount of chills - I mean, over watching a movie and reading a story (with cutting), I'm more prone to feel queasy with movies since, well, I AM a visual person x.x but yeah.. this is so twisted, I HAVE to love it (I have a concept for a house, and my sister and friends said I was nasty for thinking it up and stuff, haha, anyway, I'll tell you about it when you get on)
Good luck with the contest
-
Creepy. Disturbing. And Wow! I loved it. How did you ever come up with this?
-
-
Ok, here is what happened. I was writing the "To be Honest" story, and my brother walked in and said "What are you writing about?" and I said "I'm writing a twisted love letter where the guy rips out his eyes and trades them to see himself the way the girl does!" and then he left. Anyway I just thought of it to cover my butt from writing a love letter.
-
-
Wow. Disturbing. Definitely not the kind of story I'd expect from you. Gotta wonder if there's anybody really that demented. The character almost reminds me of Silence of the Lambs. "Put the eyes in the basket" lol. Kudos to you for trying something new, and great ending!
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
