Regrets

In the five years since I left you, not once did I think of you; not once did I regret turning away from your love. I knew somewhere, deep down, that you being my first love would always stay with me, but not once did I care to glance back to you. If I had, I might have noticed you watching; I might have realized you cared about me more than I cared about you. But I continued to walk away, no regrets.1

I remember a time when it was just you I saw. I remember when the only reason I woke up was to see you and feel your presence around me, no matter how little you noticed me. I remember when one smile would send a shudder through my insides; when the slightest hint of affection could drive me to imagining what could be. I remember when there was no hope of us, nothing but my daydreams to sustain what I felt. 2

You wouldn’t remember that, though, because I never was brave enough to tell you. My lack of courage cost more than my happiness, but yours as well. I don’t know if you were as scared as I, and that is why you said nothing, or if you didn’t know what you wanted. But for as long as I could tell, you felt nothing for me. You were indifferent; on a completely separate path of life, and ours were never meant to cross. 3

I do remember, though, that before I left you, you came to realize you loved me too. You came to this end too late, though, for I was already moving on and accepting a reality in which you and I weren’t. If I had known then, maybe times would be different, and we would have had so many years to enjoy the love that could have been. But it wasn’t until whatever I felt for you had left that I came to know that you loved me with the same passion as I did you. 4

Why now, after five years spent chasing other dreams, is my past coming back into my thoughts? I remember you so vividly. You remind me of a time when our innocence was greater than anything else, and joy and excitement ruled our lives! I feel pulled back to a time when enjoying the life we had was more important than putting up the facade of who we wished we were. Suddenly, all the feelings I felt so long ago don’t seem so far away, and I do regret. I regret it all.5

I regret leaving you alone so long ago; I regret forgetting to say hello and happy birthday; ignoring your pain and pushing mine upon you, when all you needed was comfort; flaunting my happiness, no matter how much pain was masked in it. I regret the time we danced to my favorite song, because it was not you on my mind, but another passing fancy. I regret calling you buddy, because I know now what it is like only being the friend; and I regret not being able to give you this letter, for my fear of rejection is so great. 6

I remember how I once felt, because what I feel now is so much the same. I love you again, but I will never tell you so. I don’t deserve a second chance, and I won’t ask you for one. I love you so much; I don’t think I can take the chance of causing you pain, or the chance of losing you. Forever will my words to you sit in this letter. Never will you read of how I regained my heart only after realizing it sat with you and only you all along. 7

I love you and I will, until the fated hands of time relieve me of this burden. How long shall I wait? I know not what God has planned for us, but when the time comes and we are gloriously united as either lovers or friends I will be content. Until that day, I will rest in the hope that someday you will see me as more. Not perfect, but just more.8

Author notes

Lady-Jane young love

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 56 of 56

  • LindaIsMe
    June 24

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    Awwie, thats so sweet. Gotta love things that make you feel really giddy inside! Good luck in the contest, and thanks for entering. I really like this one


  • Carina.J.LR
    May 14

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    Aww, I love you too...oops sorry, I really got into that
    You're a nice writer, and if this is true, then this is a very very sad situation, one that I have been stuck in many times

    Thanks for entering and goodluck!

    -Carina >smiles<


  • hotwaxtears
    May 14
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    Heartbreaking

    Beautiful and sad. I really enjoyed this.


  • islekine
    December 3, 2008
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    Thanks so much for your entry!!

    Best wishes in the contest!
    Write on!

  • Rovingone
    September 16, 2008
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    Very emotional write. You told a fine story.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    September 7, 2008
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    Mmmm, that was great. I'm mentally savoring the flavor of all those emotions. You were very descriptive and vivid in nearly every single sentence. Awesome!
    I found it bittersweet that the title of your story is Regrets, as if that overshadows the hope that you mention at the very end of the story. It was a very poignant story-letter; thanks for entering it in my contest, and good luck!


  • angellove silver member
    September 1, 2008

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    Very bittersweet and emotional. I had some songs going through my head as I read it. There's a song that Celine Dion sang called "Just Walk Away," which is a very emotional translation of an Italian song, but it wasn't release in the US. It could probably be found on line though. Another song hers was a song of hope called "I Love You." Of course, there is the famous song "My Heart Will Go On" that rang in ears also. The first one I mentioned is the most emotional of the three.

    May God bless you and may you find the love of your life, the one He has made just for you. Another beautiful song is "When God Made You," and I believe that was Natalie Grant and another Christian singer.

    Beth

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4.


  • GossipGirlLuvR
    August 22, 2008

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    Wow... this is so EMOTIONAL! I really like this. I love all of the feelings expressed in this story. Really good job! I wish oyu the best of luck in my contest.


  • VioletConcept
    August 11, 2008

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    You've been DQed. I asked for stories that didn;t have any awards. You've won numorous times.

    Thanks for entering,
    VH


  • NightTime-Fox
    July 16, 2008

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    This is good... I like the emotion behind it and it had a good flow for me... Thanks for the read and good luc


  • Asonine
    July 13, 2008
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    Good, but there were no tears... I told ye it was hard to get me to cry


  • No Comment
    July 11, 2008
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    You did not meet the word limit. Disqualified. Next time read ALL of the rules


  • whenever love dawns
    July 9, 2008

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    this was very emotional and made me think about certain aspects of love and relationships. thank you for entering and good luck!


  • dancindream
    July 5, 2008

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    whata lovely sad story. you write wonderfully =) i didnt even find like any errors. good job! thanks for enteringg!


  • Noisome.
    July 4, 2008

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    Well, first thing I notice about this is the mass of contests it's been entered in. Wow, you must really love this piece. For good reason, though. It was lovely, meaningful and full of emotion. It was very sweet and sad at the same time. The feelings were true and it was tragic that the only thing the speaker wanted was to be more.. They just wanted to be.. something to their reader. It was lovely that the speaker didn't even GIVE the letter.. Powerful. It was truly lovely with hardly any errors. Impressive.

    Thanks for entering, and good luck.


  • Peachy
    June 28, 2008

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    This was a beautiful write.
    So much emotions in this one piece, it's amazing. You managed to say it all in a small story and with such grace and flow too!
    Excellent!


  • Reaver Greeters member
    May 21, 2008

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    Very well written...emotion shines through...just what i asked for...well done!!! Bravo!!!!


  • GrimDeath
    May 13, 2008
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    Its very well written and the display of emotion is strong. Thank you for entering and Good Luck.


  • Crazy-Love
    May 7, 2008

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    This was so beautifully written! I'm in awe with how deeply it just touched me. I can truly feel the power and emotion spilling from your words! Excellent Story! I can definately see why it has won so many trophies and Honorable mentions.

    plot: 5, dialog: 5.

  • parntsoftwins
    May 5, 2008
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    Thank you very much for entering the contest. I did feel the sadness and regret throughout the piece. What I didn't feel much was the happy ending I was looking for. You did write this well, and with great emotion I was able to feel. Thank you again for entering.


  • just mercedes
    May 2, 2008

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    This is very well-written, and gives me pause for thought. The attitude displayed shows a reasoned regret, and the fact that the letter was not sent reminds me of how important it can be, just to write down the things we feel, whether they are sent or not, to be able to understand how we feel. I liked this, it would be nice to think the two characters will link up together again, but life doesn't usually do nice things.


    • Lady-Jane
      May 3, 2008
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      Well, so far it hasn't done nice things. I am still kinda in that boat. Want an update? Read my new one called Reverie...


  • Vanilla King
    April 26, 2008

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    Wow... that was.. amazing.
    I had a first love and broke up with her, only to regret so much afterwards. I've been with a new girlfriend for over a year now and I love her very much, but I just can't help wondering about all those what-ifs...
    Your letter is amazing. I'm not even sure if it's real or fiction, but damn it's good.

    Damn you, now I'm thinking about my ex again!

  • Writing0Freedom
    April 24, 2008

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    This was beautiful! This is really well written and it touched me deeply. I can really sympathize because I have gone through this recently so I understand. These feelings were put in to words so originally and perfectly. A lot of this as I read I definitely have been thinking it, and you put into words a lot of feelings I have had recently that I couldn't place. Wow , this is amazing!
    Great write!
    Thanks for entering!
    WritingFree


  • bakermiddle
    April 9, 2008
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    Wow! This was great. It reminds me of the time when my best friend (girlfriend) and I were just friends and I was afraid to tell her how I really felt. We aren’t just two teenagers lusting after one another, we really love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. And this totally reminds me of the beginning of our lives together. Great job!

    • Lady-Jane
      April 14, 2008
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      thanks! In those years when i don't always know what i am feeling, but it is good to know someone came out of situation like this and is happy! Thanks -bri


  • SympatheticMisery
    April 8, 2008
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    Oh, this was such a beautiful story! It has a slight depressing mood, but lovely all the same. It was sweet, and you made me realize something (about what, I shan't say). It was really beautiful, and I loved it.

    Good luck, and thank you for entering my contest!


  • Emmanuela
    March 29, 2008
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    your story is so sad, but it's very realistic and nice too.
    i very like it! good job!

  • mysterydragon
    March 27, 2008

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    wow. i can definately relate to this one. in fact, you basically hit my love life story right on the nose. this was a great story, so lovely, and so sad. good luck in the contests.

  • CasperQueenofHoochie
    March 15, 2008
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    Thank god for your entry. Too many people think long, drawn out stories are more emotional. Yours proves them wrong. I think you did an amazing job with this, it has emotion seeping out of every sentence. Great work ^_^ thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Crying Angel Eyes
    March 10, 2008
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    great


  • Silverwit
    February 20, 2008
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    Please post wich option you chose or I will delete your entry from the contest.


  • Kat222
    February 18, 2008

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    excellent story! very well written. Why the hell dont people just ask for what they want?? i really enjoyed this good job!


  • GrimDeath
    February 17, 2008
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    I liked it alot it showed true emotional and a piece of your soul.Good Luck and thank you for entering


  • tabbykat92
    February 4, 2008

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    This was really sweet, and I could definitely relate to it (I'm the kind of person who would only admire someone from afar). Good luck in the contest.


  • happy go lucky13
    January 27, 2008

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    thank you! finally, a good story in my contest! ive read about four and this is the only one ive really liked!


  • This Will Hurt
    January 16, 2008

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    This was absolutely fanstastic! It fit what I was looking for to a T, and I do thank you for entering my contest! Good luck to you.


  • stardust3492
    January 11, 2008
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    Good job. The description is very nice. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!


  • OkapiShomapi
    January 10, 2008

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    "I new somewhere, deep down"
    'new' should be 'knew'

    "years spent chasing others dreams"
    I'm not sure what you meant to say here. You need to either make the others possessive ("others'") or take off the s and make others singular.

    "or the chance of loosing you. "
    loosing should be losing

    Awww - this is so sad. Wonderful, but sad.... and I think so many people can realte to it, and that's awesome. It's well-written and makes the reader think, which is nice. Great job!

    Thanks, and good luck!

    annye


  • Miss Hanako Cullen
    January 2, 2008

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    This was well written, a romance that I really couldn't grasp the meaning of. But then again, I'm not real good at that anyway..soo. ha ha, anyway..good job and good luck!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • BabyxBadger
    December 31, 2007

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    Bit hard to see how you moved on here, it seems as you have stayed the same accept maybe seeing his feeling.
    Still a good story though
    xxx


  • caitlinstephanie
    December 20, 2007

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    wow this is really great! i really did love it! keep on writing like this and you will do great in the future!!!!
    caitlin


  • skyblu
    December 20, 2007

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    Wow, that was really beautiful! I only noticed one mistake:
    In the second paragraph you put 'would send my hear soaring', do you mean 'heart soaring'?
    I was wondering if this was a true story because it seems so honest, so emotional, you bring the feelings across really clearly. This would be great as part of a story, you made the reader want more.
    Well done.
    Good luck and merry christmas!


  • Natalie-
    October 27, 2007

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    It would be great if you were to adda chapter to this, this could be such a good romance story, great writing.


  • kenddrraaa
    October 17, 2007

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    This was interesting. I think they should definitly send the letter because nothing will re-ignite if they don't let their past lover know of their regained passion. Thank you for entering and good luck! <3


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    October 10, 2007

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    Sad letter.

    This is a very emotional write. Sad that it is a letter written, never meant to be sent. It seems like the problem in their relationship from the beginning was a lack of communication. Thanks for entering this contest.

    Andy


  • whichcraft Greeters member
    October 10, 2007

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    Your story has a lot of strong emotion and I felt your character experienced tremendous pain. The inspiration for your story would probably be to write a romance but I felt that the only thing it really held was strong emotion. In a story setting, it has little direction and not a strong reader attraction.

    There is no real resolution to your story. The reader does not know if the two involved will get together or not, but unless you wanted to leave it in mystery, I guess that theme comes through in the writing.


  • chintzy faberge
    October 8, 2007

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    Good job writing in your diary. I have heard this maybe a dozen times in this contest alone. I'm glad that your fellow teens can enjoy the emotion...I mean, that's really all that this story has going for it. And raw emotion is not enough to make good writing. You need polish and the ability to choose your battles.

    Not EVERYTHING needs written. Especially when it's been written before.

    Other issues:

    Watch your spelling: "remember when one smile would send my hear soaring;" "hear" should be "heart" (which, by the way, is cliche, but at least spelled correctly.) Be careful when you misspell words that spell other words correctly.

    Subject verb agreement: "If I had known then, maybe times would be different," "then" refers to a past event-therefore, the "times would have been" different.

    Thanks for entering.


  • Prodigious.Mirth
    October 4, 2007
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    this was so emotionaly beautifull that it chilled me to the very core of my broken heart
    the truth lies only within the hearts desires and the distance remains intact

    if that makes sense at all

    we live though our regrets but we regret to love is my saying

    blair


  • The Poetic Prince
    October 2, 2007
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    Good, but.....

    It was well written but the ending leaves me wanting more. Good luck in the contest

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 2, dialog: 1, characters: 3.


  • Meakalu
    October 1, 2007
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    brilliant

    This story was brilliant. I loved the raw emotion, the hurt, the regret, I felt it all in this story. This is a common thing to write it all down in a letter that is never destind to reach the person. You captured everything in a way I never could, and never will be able to. Great work.

    the luck of the Irish to you,

    Meaky

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • darkpaintedreams
    September 28, 2007
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    Oh this was great. I love the emotion and how you word these feelings. It's also very sad the girl will never show the guy the letter. I'm just wondering if this is from a personal experience... Well, great job on this, you sound like a great writer. Good luck in the contest.


  • Maui Jane silver member
    September 23, 2007
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    So full of emotion - wow.. it's presented in a very flowing manner - wonderful job

  • abba12
    September 22, 2007
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    this really hit me as it reminds me of my ex boyfriend. its very well done, good work...


  • NotTheDroids
    September 18, 2007
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    That is enough to break a heart all on its own. I sit here with tears in my eyes, remembering times when I should have, would have, could have, didn't! Don't make the same mistake twice - if you have matured as it seems you have, then have the courage to know that some things are worth doing, some things are worth risking all for.

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • Frozen Angel
    September 17, 2007
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    I love the emotion you put into this, it is really good. Most stories that I've read about personal experiences seem to just "tell" a story than show it. Of course, this is an exception. you did a wonderful job! Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!

    *Frozen Angel*

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