Love is not like a knife.

‘God there is only so much love I can give you sweet heart, please you need to understand, my family, they wont accept us.’ Drey tried to explain as best as she could to Amaya, but it was hard as she stood on and watched her heart break at her words. ‘I feel so horrible.’ Drey looked away, maybe that would make it easier.

‘What about all those long nights, the first time we realised our love for each other, please Drey, look at me and tell my eyes you no longer love me.’ Amaya knew Drey could not resist her eyes; they had been what had attracted them in the first place, the sadness and deep intense emotion of Amaya’s green eyes. ‘Look at me and tell me the truth, I know you don’t want to leave me.’  

Turning around, wrapping her arms around her small body Drey fought back the stinging tears in her eyes. Why did breaking up have to be so god damn hard! Looking back, tears glistening in baby blue eyes shrouded by a thick layer of pure blonde curls Drey pulled in breathe. This is going to be the hardest moment of my life.

Staring deep into the sea of emotions encased in Amaya’s eyes Drey delivered the killing blow with ferocity she had not intended, ‘I don’t love you Amaya, I am sorry for leading you on like this, confusing you.’ Oh god her eyes, they got so damn dark, what have I done? Drey turned away again, walking away quickly before Amaya said something to break her down.

Heading out the front door to Amaya’s broken down apartment she heard her crying as she sank the floor, her soft tanned knees thumping as they hit the oak floorboards. Looking back as she opened the door, it was Drey’s turn to feel her own heart collapse. Amaya was sitting in the middle of the sun, on her knees hands in between them as she cried in pain.

‘I am so sorry baby doll.’ Drey ran from the house, her heart was tearing in two and she wanted to die the pain was so bad, how could I do that to her, I’m a monster! Running down the street in a pair of expensive heels and mini skirt Drey didn’t stop and look back, she just kept going blonde hair flowing out behind her to catch the tears that flew from her eyes.

Crossing the street Drey stopped in the middle of the road, her heart was aching and there was a stitch in her chest, gasping in breath she looked around screaming when horns screamed in front of her face, the driver of the semi truck blaring them for her t get out of the way.

‘Angel!’ There was split second of recognition at the voice before the breathe was knocked from her body and Drey felt her feet leave the road, her body moving weightlessly as peoples screams flowed from the streets, horns continuing to sound from the truck.

Everything froze; people stood gaping at the scene. Drey looked around in shock, who had pushed her out of the way from the truck? ‘Is she okay, oh dear that poor girl, she saved her life, is she alive that was so horrible…’ Sitting up with grazed elbows and a bloody cheek from skimming the road Drey saw who had pushed her.

‘NO!’ Drey was off the ground quicker then when she had been pushed from the truck, dropping to her bleeding knees again she felt painful tears fall down her cheeks. ‘Baby doll…why?’ Staring into Amaya’s bloody face Drey let tears drip on her, clearing away the blood. ‘Look at me come on please, don’t you dare die don’t on me, please!’

‘Angel?’ Amaya croaked. She opened her eyes and pain exploded in her head, there was blood in her eyes and she couldn’t see properly, everything was a clouded grey, though she could make out Drey peering down at her. ‘I couldn’t let you become an Angel for real, even if you don’t love me.’

‘Oh god baby I don’t hate you, I am so sorry for that I never wanted to but it was hard, all the lying. I love you, god I love you more then you will ever know, my heart has always been yours.’ Wiping away the tears now Drey bent over and kissed Amaya, sirens were flashing in the heat of the day now, Drey realised she was kneeling in a pool of blood and begged Amaya to hold on. Please God, I am praying for you to make her survive, don’t take her away from me, please I am begging you. I love her; even if you do think it a sin to love another woman, I don’t care don’t you let her die! Drey said the silent prayer in her head, she knew true and well it was a sin to love someone of the same sex, it didn’t matter to her though, not when she loved Amaya so much.

People stood by on the street, watching the two girls in the middle of the street confessing their love for each other as one lay dying. Many of the women felt their hearts break for the girls, saying their own prayers for Amaya to live on; others shaking their heads muttering let her die.

‘You wouldn’t move, why you just stopped, I-I-I-….’ The truck driver stuttered as the police walked over, the paramedics running with their heavy bags of equipment.

‘Please save her, please don’t let her die. Stay with us Amaya, please don’t go.’ Drey yelled when Amaya’s closed her eyes, the grey was turning to black slowly, was she going blind, her whole body ached all she wanted to do was sleep and be warm, she was so cold.

‘I love you Drey…always.’ Smiling a little Amaya let herself relax a little, the pain lessening so it didn’t hurt as much, she felt the mask go over her face and air seemed t come easier. There was a sharp prick in her elbow and things went like fluff, a lot the pain drained from her body with blood as she opened her eyes one more time.

‘If I did, no you saved me Drey, from myself.’ Breathing in a lungful of air Amaya’s eyes fluttered closed before Drey could say a reply. I don’t want to make it, I can’t see. That was the last thing Amaya could remember.

‘Hey baby can you hear me?’ Amaya tried opening her eyes, when she knew they were opened she held up a hand to pull the black veil away, or even her hair. She remembered it being thick enough one time to stop her from being able to see, but nothing was there. ‘What’s wrong?’ Drey panicked.

‘I can’t see, Drey, Angel what is going on, why can’t I see?’ Am I dead? Hoping that blinking would dismiss the impending darkness Amaya fluttered her eyes but nothing happened, she still couldn’t see anything at all. I won’t ever be able to see Drey again. The beep she had been hearing increased, going faster the more she panicked.

‘Oh baby, I am so sorry. The doctors they told me, they said you will never see again because of the damage done to your eyes when you were hit by the truck.’ Wiping her eyes Drey blinked back tears, this is far harder then I ever imagined.

‘Oh god no, please tell me this is a dream that I am dead or something, oh god.’ I can’t even cry! Feeling tears at the back of her eyes Amaya wished they would escape but they didn’t. Fear spiked the beeping machine she couldn’t see again.

She is taking this so bad. Drey felt horrible, what had she done this was all her fault. If she had not chosen that moment to stop and catch her breathe Amaya would be blind. Why did she chase after me, I didn’t even see her come after me.

‘Don’t say that Amaya, it isn’t the end of the world you are alive, be thankful for that.’

‘How can I live when I can’t see your face, I would rather die then not be able to see the only person I love, do not tell me to be thankful something I don’t have.’ Amaya snapped, her hand went like spiders across the bed until she felt something slid and curled her fingers around it.

‘It will be okay, I can help you, and things won’t be so bad.’ Drey soothed Amaya, placing her hands on her battered face she leant in and kissed her deeply on the lips. ‘Things will never change.’

Two weeks later.

‘Give it back, I hate this please just let me die!’ Amaya screamed as she tried to find where Drey was, she could feel the blood leaking down her arms from the jagged cuts on her wrists, Drey had walked in her on trying to take her life, I can’t handle not being able to see much longer. Tripping on the sofa she fell face down on the floor.

Stepping silently as she could away from Amaya, Drey held back tears as she held the bloody knife away from her. ‘Don’t say that, you don’t want to die, we are making this work!’ Drey whispered.

‘But I don’t want to live anymore; I can’t take this much longer, you do not understand how it feels!’ Amaya screamed back, she didn’t want to whisper!

Running to Amaya Drey went to wrap her in her arms forgetting the knife, Amaya gasped as she folded into Drey the hug warm and sticky as blood dribbled from between knife and flesh from the wound.

‘Again.’ Amaya muttered wincing in pain. ‘Please let me go.’ Closing her eyes she felt the knife retract and pierce through her chest, breaking through ribs and lungs to cut deep into heart.

‘Love I not like a knife…’ Amaya whispered as blood dribbled down her chin, 'It hurts no where near as much as, especially when I can't see your face. Kill me, please.' Collapsing into Drey, Amaya felt a smile dance at the corner of her mouth blood stained and red. I can at least die happy in the arms of my lover, goodbye my Angel, Drey...2

Sinking to the floor with Amaya bleeding in her arms, Drey removed the knife from her body one fina time, she was covered in her blood from where the knife had ripped throguh her heart, she was right, love was nothing like a knife and it did hurt more. How can I live knowing killed you like that? 4

Forcing back the tears Drey contemplated her short amount of grim options, stay here and call the police, go down for the accidental death of my girlfriend, or join her up in heaven where we can always be together?6

The latter of choices seemed to be winning, Drey wiped her eyes with bloody hands and gasped through her racking sobs, she couldn't stop these tears much longer, the hurt was too much and she had to let it out one last time.8

'Triple zero what is your emergency?'10

'There is no emergency, I just killed my girlfriend.'

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